Ghost

Ghost

Part One ??

I died today. Yes you read that right past tense. This isn’t a “I survived a blah blah blah” story. I’m dead. I’m actually laying over there. I’m not going to go back and do a whole life story montage because frankly it was a normal life. I’ll just summarize it. I didn’t have any children. I had one wife who died a few years ago in a typical car accident involving snow, ice, and a phone pole. I didn’t date much after that. I won’t say she was my one and only but since she died I didn’t really think about being with anyone else since. So maybe soulmate? Who knows. We didn’t have children, my parents died when I was younger as they were late in life having me. I was an only child and not very close to the rest of my extended family. My job was a 9-5 job sitting in a cubical taking calls about various bullshit things. If you had asked me what I did today at work I probably wouldn’t even remember because it was all just bullshit.

This is kind of funny, someone’s trying to call. Guess it’s past time to be at work. I’m not sure what time it is. Since phones have become so ubiquitous for time and alarms I don’t even have any clocks in my apartment. Guess at some point I’ll be found dead.

I wonder how that will work with no will. Anyway, it looks like I broke my neck. Oh right. I’m in the bathroom. My body is half in and half out of the bathtub. And my head as well is not even close to right on my shoulders. So a broken neck. You remember the show Big Bang Theory episode about Penny and Sheldon and the dislocated shoulder? Well Sheldon was right. Man this is going to be an ugly find. This bathroom is tiny. Not my problem anymore. Time really is weird. Someone's knocking on my door already. I could swear it was just a few minutes from the phone ringing. I have no windows in this damn bathroom so I can’t see what the time of day is.

I won’t bore you with useless details but the quick version is they sent a well check on me. Apparently never missing work or my evening walks someone noticed. They broke the door down with the landlord's permission since he’s on vacation. I don’t remember where but I know he asked me to grab any mail or packages that came. I watched them do some work on my body but they knew instantly I was dead. When they picked me up and put me in a body bag my head wow some really odd movement so I guess I was right. /damn you Sheldon/. I’m still here. My body is gone. I didn’t make any messes as that part of my body was on the lip of the tub and everyone stayed in the tub and since I was done my shower the water was off. My landlord will be happy I guess. Just replace a door and move some stuff still half boxes up and well-la a new tenant.

I’m able to wander around my apartment now. I can’t walk through walls or doors which kind of sucks to be honest. I’m not sure how this ghost thing is supposed to work but until now I’d never believed in them. Better not see any aliens here or I’m gonna flip out. I’m not sure I’m a ghost once I’ve sat down and thought about it. I tried moving things around the house and nothing happened. I tried opening partially closed doors so I could walk through them but that didn’t work. I just couldn’t shove my way through. I’m not going to say it was some invisible wall like in the movies. I just couldn’t fit through anything not open all the way, or at least something I could walk through without touching either side of the door. It’s kind of hard to explain but it is what it is. I wonder what will happen when they take the front door down to fix it. I guess I’ll sit and watch.

It’s funny or not really surprising I guess but I don’t feel hunger or thirst. I have no feeling of dry skin or itching of any kind. No runny noses, no real passage of time. I see the Sun setting and coming up as if it’s in the background. I sat down and then the landlord was here looking around. He removed the door so I’m going to try and leave. Wish me luck?

Everything’s gone, the doors replaced, the bathrooms cleaned and I’m standing in an empty apartment. I remember seeing the open front door and now an empty apartment. I need to figure this out. All the doors are open except the front door now. I can wander around more but that’s it. I need to figure out what the hell is going on here.

I don’t remember my name for some reason. No I’m not going go Ghost on you and be possessing someone. Maybe this isn’t as easy as I thought it would be to explain. If no one reads this does that mean it was ever written? This may give me a headache which now that I think about it I haven’t had any of those either. I know I was a caffeine fiend but too. Maybe this ghost thing isn’t as bad as I thought.

“Hi”

“Who said that?!”

“Me”

“Whose me!?”

“Ummmm me?”

“You don’t have a name?”

“I used to. I don’t remember anymore”

“Oh so that wasn’t just me then?” I mumbled.

“No but I don’t mind going by Pop”

“Hello Pop?”

“Hello. What can I call you?”

“Uhhh Stan? I guess?”

“Hello Stan. I was just sort of standing by and kind of felt you. If that makes sense?”

“Well since I can’t see you or have any idea where you are, nothing's making sense.”

“Odd. I can see you just fine.”

“That’s a little creepy.” I mumbled.

“Close your eyes.” Pop said.

“Why?”

“This is going to be hard to explain.”

“Try me.”

“Ok,” Pop said, taking in a breath and letting it out slowly, “Your eyes aren’t there anymore.”

“What!!!??” I scream while trying to feel my face.

“You tried leaving your house didn’t you.” Pop said not as a question but a statement.

“What does that have to do with anything!!”

“Not all of you came back.” Pop said calmly

“What the hell are you talking about?!” I wondered why I couldn’t feel my face but I could see my hands. “I see my fingers! What the hell are you talking about?”

“No Stan, you remember your fingers.”

“Huh?”

“You see your fingers because you see what you remember and that you had your fingers and what they look like.”

“What’s that got to do with my eyes?”

“Close your eyes please Stan.”

“Fine!” I yell but I do as I’m told.

“Remember where you died. What was around you and what was the last thing that you saw.” Pop said gently. “You’re dead but you remember what your body felt like when you itched and moved, what it felt like when you rubbed your eyes. Do you remember?”

“Yes.” I said mimicking rubbing my eyes after a long day staring at the monitors from work.

“You’re getting it.” Pop said with an audible smile. “Ok now open them.”

“Holy shit!” I yelled looking around my apartment. “My stuff is back! That’s my favorite chair! All of my stuff was gone before!” Looking around I finally saw Pop. “Um you don’t have any legs?”

“No, I lost them when the subway ran over me. That’s how I died.”

“Why is my stuff back? How are you eye level with me? Why couldn’t I see you? What the fuck is happening?”

“Let’s sit down if that would help you listen and I’ll explain.” Pop said moving to my couch.

I saw Pop move to the couch and sit. His legs are still gone but he looks like he’s a normal man just sitting there like it’s normal. I’m still looking around my apartment. The door is fixed and the furniture is moved around to what it was before my body was moved out of the bathroom. “I’m so confused.” I said holding my head when I sat down opposite Pop in my favorite chair my wife bought me.

“I’ll explain everything I know and then if you still have questions you can ask I’ll answer them if I can. First, you’re dead

“That part I know. I slipped in my tub and broke my neck.” I said, still holding my head.

“Well that’s actually a good thing and a bad thing. Good in that there is a lot I don’t have to explain. And bad as you tried to leave your anchor.” I looked up to ask a question but he just just held his hand up to stop me from asking. “Some people don’t know they were killed or died or whatever brought about their end of life. Those are sometimes easier to make sure they don’t make the mistakes many have made. You can only leave your anchor a few times. If you are not ready you will no longer exists.” He holds up both hands this time before I open my mouth. “Many who have taken their own lives are never ready to move one way or another. They want to die and take their lives to die but in all the time I’ve been wondering I’ve yet to meet one that is able to leave their anchor. I’ve only see one loose themselves trying to leave their anchor.”

“Do I want to know what happened?”

“No. It was not something I’d ever want to see again. If I had known what could have happened I wouldn’t have ever left the subway. I’d have never tried.”

“And I went and tried walking out of my front door the first umm week?”

“You came back to your anchor but nothing was left but everything else was the same.”

“Pretty much.”

“The fact that you came back and the only stuff missing was your furniture is a good thing.” Pop said while I gave him a raised eyebrow. “I’ve known some who came back stuck in a bubble with a single door. Some are still stuck in that single bubble. Those are usually the ones that killed themselves. None try again that I know of and they are never ready. I’m pretty sure that’s what purgatory is.” Pop said in a small voice. With a heavy sigh he continues, “you died in an accident just like me. We weren’t supposed to die or weren’t expecting it. We have a greater latitude in exploring how to get away from our anchors.”

“Why?” I asked, finally relaxing sort of.

“I’m not entirely sure to be honest. The way I figured it out was by watching others. I watched others that had died on or around the subway. The homeless who died from cold, old age, the stupid ones and others who were murdered. The murdered never stayed not one ever. It was an accident that was simple. I think I was drunk but it’s been quite a long time. But anyways I watched others walk through that /door/ and some come back like you with just a few things missing and others come back in vague rooms and yet others keep trying and trying until they don't return. I don’t know for sure what happened to them but I never saw them again.”

“Except the suicide.” I said

“Except him or her? I’m not sure with the way you are all dressed now.”

“How long have you been dead?” I was shocked that I hadn’t realized he could be very very old.

“I don’t know. After what I guessed was a few months time seemed to have become umm jumpy? I don’t remember spans of time. I barely remember any time between seeing other people. I seem to just skip ahead.

“Then why haven’t you moved on to what’s next?”

“I don’t know. I’m scared? I didn’t have a good life from what I can remember. I don’t know if I want to know what’s next.” Pop said, wringing his hands. “But I’m tired of seeing others either pass on or become so isolated they become incoherent.”

“Is that why you found me?” I asked.

“Sort of. I have been able to leave my anchor somewhat for a while now. I can’t go far but since the subway goes everywhere I’m not too far from it. You’re not the furthest person I’ve met from the subway. But you are one of the few that has been inside. I’m just sorry I got here before you walked out your first time. But you re-anchored pretty easily.”

“That’s good I guess.” I said sitting up a bit more.

“I’m going to finish telling you what you need and then I’m going back to my anchor and walk through that last subway stop.”

“Why me?” I asked bluntly.

“I don’t know. Have you ever watched an old show called Dead Like Me?” Pop asked

“Never heard of it.”

“Well I won’t bore you then but it feels like it’s time? I guess that would be the closest feeling I could come up with.”

“So I get to be your apprentice? I said sort of kidding, sort of serious.

“No? Yes? I don’t know. I told you how to get re anchored and as much as I know from watching others but like I said I learned by watching not really doing. I don’t know how all this works. I don’t have some fairy tale ending like you’re the next one I guess it’s up to you.”

“So you’re eye level with me because you see yourself with your legs then I take it?” I asked, still wondering how he was sitting on the chair.

“Yes. I saw myself with my legs since I don’t remember seeing my body. For me I never lost them. I only remember falling in and then a lot of pain then nothing. I only know I lost my legs because that’s how others see me. I see you with your neck ummm broken and your head is pretty much laying on your left shoulder. Imagine seeing how someone died every time I saw them. I’m just tired of it all if I’m honest. And like I said it feels like it’s time.”

“But I see you like we were both sitting here talking over tea except you're hovering over the seat cushion.”

“Weird isn’t it.” Pop said with a small smile.

“Very.” I replied

“Any other questions?”

“I have so many questions but it sounds like you don’t have the answers either.” I said chagrined

“We will never know our names again. I don’t know why that is but even if someone says I knew or read about you then they say my name it’s just not there. I know they said something. They know they said it but it’s just gone.”

“Wonderful.”

“So how do I leave here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Wait. What?” I said exacerbated.

“The only time I’ve been able to leave without losing part of my anchor is when I meet someone else. I don’t know your range but I know mine is quite a range since I don’t have to walk through doors. That seems to be the barrier so to speak.” Pop said as it was an afterthought.

“That’s a pretty important thing to know!” I said jumping out of my chair.

“Sorry. I’ve never had any doors and I’ve had very few die indoors that I’ve met. You’re the first one in what I think is a long long time. All the others have been around the subway or on the street from mugging, pedestrians slipping on stairs you understand? I only remember one or two others that I was able to talk to inside a house. One was a suicide and another was an accident like you.”

“I get it. I guess.” I said pacing around. Now that I’ve been told the rules I suddenly feel cooped up and claustrophobic.

“It was nice meeting you Stan.” Said Pop suddenly, already standing and near the door.

“You’re leaving already?” I asked shocked and panicked

“Yes.”

And just like that he was gone. And I was left confused.