Fudge

‘Why is it always me that has tae dae this?’ Calum asked the world as he prepared to abseil down the cliff, ‘is it no bad enough I have tae bless the Loch never mind every inch o’ this bloody waterfall?’

‘Haud yer wheesht!’ Donal grunted, ‘you arnae the wan tae haul yer heavy arse up an’ doon the cliff.’

Calum and Donal were junior members in The Order of the Timeless Shield. The Timeless Shield were an ancient order who had taken it upon themselves to help guard the world from all sorts of ancient horrors that wanted to claim the world for itself or the Eldritch beings they called master. Once a week Calum and Donal were to bless the waters of Loch Mealt and the Mealt Falls, this was their job as junior members of the Order.

Beneath the waters of Loch Mealt and behind the waterfall lay a slumbering creature of indescribable.e horror. Long ago it was discovered that by blessing the waters of the Loch it kept the creature at bay. No one wanted what happened to the Isle of Stokery, most people these days have no idea that Stokery was one of the Hebridean Islands.

‘Have ye got yer tools?’ Donal shouted from the clifftop.

‘Aye’ Calum shouted back.

‘Have ye got the parchment? Donal asked.

‘Aye I have’ Calum replied.

‘Have ye got the sacred scroll and sacred oil? Donal shouted down the cliff face.

‘Ah have the oil but no the scroll’ Calum yelled back.

Donal secured there before rummaging in his pack ‘Here’ Donal shouted, ‘catch!’

Calum looked up and the scroll struck him square in the face ‘Wit ye playin’ at ye haufwit?’ Calum cried out, that hit me in the face.’

Donal suppressed a laugh at Calum’s expense. This was the only part of the job he liked. He stood at the base of the falls, closed his eyes and let the his senses come alive. He inhaled a deep breath, smelling the salty sea air, a smell that reminded him of his maternal Grandfather who was a fisherman. He listened to the sound of falls crashing against the bottom of the cliff and the roar of the water as it came over the edge, it was peaceful and frightening. The spray from the falls as it struck the ground danced across his skin like a soft massage. He opened his eyes and drank in the majesty of the falls.

Calum went to work sanctifying the falls to keep the creature at bay. He began removing the week old scrolls and replacing them with fresh ones, each being dipped in the sacred oil before hand. He inspected the divot in the rock face to see that someone had already removed the scroll and sealed the divot. Calum removed his hammer and chisel and reopened the hole to see a scroll that did not belong to his order. Pulling it out he opened it and began to read out aloud ‘Nafl'fhtagn vulgtmoth nnnogor ot r'lyeh. Llll nafl'fhtagn ymg' uh'eog, cthulhu. Nafl'fhtagn! nafl'fhtagn! nafl’fhtagn!

The waterfall slowed to a trickle and then stopped. Up and down the cliff face a series of eerie green lights appeared. Green lines connected the dots in a pattern that Calum couldn’t identify and as the cliff erupted, Calum could only watch in pant-wetting terror as a nameless being burst from the hole and into the water. Calum looked at the carnage and once the creature was gone he spoke ‘Oh Fudge!’

Please note that this story is written in Scots English, I am from Scotland and I am proud to be able to share my heritage with all you wonderful people

Inspired by the works of HP Lovecraft and the Cthulhu Mythos