Forever is a long time

Everything moved in a blur around her. Victoria found herself crawling into her own mind as she watched the demons consume the old man. The doctors and nurses couldn't see what she was seeing. They couldn't smell the sulfur or hear the screams. The room had been thrown into chaos and her mind couldn't hold. Her eyes closed and down she went.

Victoria dreamt, in her dream, she saw Michael in his complete form. There was something familiar about his presence and it took her only a few moments to make the connection. He had been the guy that was with her mother that one time all those years ago. The way that he looked at her back then made her feel violated. Her mother had glanced back and forth between her and her male companion. The look in her eyes reeked of disgust. Victoria remembered that feeling of shame and instinctively covered her chest. Rebecca’s gaze pierced Victoria when their eyes met. For a moment she could swear that a flash of envy and hatred had crossed her own mother’s eyes. The moment passed quickly but she would never forget the predatory glare of that stranger.

Michael looked at her with both shock and fear. The way his eyes grew wide told her that she was not wrong. He was exactly who she thought he was but there was something else. It was pinching at the recesses of her mind. There was something about him that she couldn’t place. She’d only seen him the one time. ‘What is it about this guy?’ she thought to herself.

“I…” he stammered as he slowly stepped closer towards her. His movements were calculated and steady. “I’ve known you since you were just a kid,” his words were soft and gentle. It came out like a lullaby.

Her eyes widened at his statement. She hadn’t expected him to be so forthcoming. ‘I should have realized he would be though, he is in my head,’ she rationalized. “What do you mean?” Victoria asked as she took a step back. He countered her action by taking two steps forward and decreasing the space between them.

“Do you really want to know?” he asked her. His blue eyes sparkled and she could have sworn she saw a hint of red there but she dismissed it. He seemed terrified of what she was going to say. 'Is he afraid of me?' she thought to herself. She didn’t have the answer to that question. She just knew that at this moment, she wanted the space between them to no longer exist. She wanted to be in his arms and feel something for the first time in years. This was her dream and it shouldn't be filled with suffering, it should be filled with passion and love.

“No...Yes...I don’t know,” She said as she shook her head in frustration. The truth was she didn’t know. She didn’t know how she should feel or if she should feel anything at all. All that she knew with certainty was that right at that moment, this man, this beautiful man was standing in front of her. His eyes told her that he wanted to be there...with her. Her frustration grew and she took another step back. This time he did not step forward. He stood there frozen.

“I can leave,” he said with resignation. “I can leave and never come back if that’s what you want?” He phrased the statement like a question and it caused her to ponder his words. ‘He would leave and never come back. Is that what I want? If he left, I would be alone. I didn’t “do” boyfriends and I was too old to still be living at home yet I was afraid. With him, I didn’t feel afraid. With him, the shadow men stayed away.’ her thoughts poured into her mind leaving her flustered and confused. Trapped within her own indecision and insecurity she couldn’t bring herself to answer his question. She couldn’t bring herself to say the words that she yearned to say. She couldn't manage to tell him how much she felt like she needed him. 'How can I let him know that he was the only thing keeping me moving forward?' Instead, she said the only thing she knew she could find the words to muster.

“No!” The single word flew from her lips with more force than she had intended. A smile spread across his face and in an instant the space between them was gone and she was wrapped in his arms. He looked down at her with a gentle gaze and placed a soft kiss on her lips. It was warm and wet and filled with a promise of more to come. She smiled. He pulled his lips from hers and searched her eyes. She wondered what he was searching for but most importantly she wondered if he had found it.

“I promise, I will tell you everything. If you still want me afterward, I will promise to love you forever,” His words fell from his lips with purposeful resolution. He stared at her as though she would fade away at any moment. It seemed that he was as entranced with her as she has been with him. She didn’t want to fade away, she didn’t want to wake from this slumber.

“Forever is a long time,” she chuckled out her words as she tried to hide her longing.