Food for the Soul

“Chocolate cake is food for the soul,” was one of my mother’s favorite phrases as she baked up a storm while I was growing up. She especially loved to bake cakes with extra layers of chocolate. While it is difficult not to like something that nourishes your soul – it is also challenging to fathom how much my mother loved chocolate!

Perhaps, this explains why she named her favorite male chihuahua, Brownie. It was a delicacy that she used to woo my childhood friends and many of her adult friends.

It was her signature dish. Even as the years passed – her passion for this dessert never waned. When she was diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer's several years later, she stopped baking. Not to worry, as I made sure that I never forgot to bring her favorite dessert anytime I stopped by to visit. Miraculously, she lived in an assisted living facility for over 20 years.

Then one morning, I received a call that my mother needed emergency surgery for an intestinal issue. I went to the hospital and learned the prognosis was grave. I kissed her and reminded her I would be back after her surgery. Sadly, she unexpectedly slipped into a deep coma following the surgery.

The ordeal caught me by surprise, as I expected her to come out of surgery with days or weeks to live. I had no idea that she was going to leave me so quickly. I immediately starting hoping for the very best in the hopes I would receive one more chance to tell her how much I loved her, but after talking to her doctor, I realized that the odds of having my wish granted remained low.

Still, after taking a deep breath, I immediately went to the hospital to begin the painful process of watching my mother slip away. At one point, it was so hard to watch that I decided to go the bathroom and wash my face with cold water to help me come to grips with the reality that my mother was leaving to a better place.

But when I came back, my mother was alert with her eyes wide open! I could hardly believe it as I ran to her and told her that I was worried that she would leave without knowing how much I loved her. She smiled and told me not to worry because she always knew how much I cared. Like an erupting volcano – an explosion of joyful tears burst out knowing that my wish had been granted my wish.

There was so much more to say, yet all I could say was, “I will love you forever, mom." Then I blurted out, "now that you are awake, would you like me to run downstairs to the cafeteria and get you a slice of chocolate cake?” She smiled in cheerful agreement and said, “that would be great since that is what this beat-up body can use about now!”

That was all I needed to hear. I ran downstairs and purchased a beautiful slice of chocolate cake. I was still glowing from the opportunity I had to speak with my mother one last time.

However, as I entered the room, I noticed several nurses and a doctor hovering over my mother and adjusting many of the controls on several machines. It was clear that she had slipped back into a coma! While most might think that this event would have caused me great anguish, it was one of the most joyous events in my life. I was allowed to say goodbye to my mother.

I immediately asked the nurses to let me keep her chocolate cake overnight on the table beside her bed. This way, if she slipped away, she could see I kept my word!

The next day, my mother passed away, and till this day, I remain convinced that she was smiling as she flew away with some food for the soul as she embarked on her next journey.

Mom, I will always love you!