Flight Attitude

What have we here? Who invades our heavens now?

Why, a passenger plane. Quite a full one, by the sound of it. Dare we?

Let us see what there is to see. Then we will know.

#

Jack Palatino is a nervous, aging, balding man with spindly legs and a ridiculously bushy salt-and-pepper mustache that was sculpted with a knack for useless precision that only an actuary or a mortician would possess (and as it happened, Jack was both at different points in his career as a professional worry-wort). More to the point, he always hated flying and particularly dreads takeoff. He knows too well that, statistically speaking, takeoff and landing are the most dangerous phases of every flight and so he always tenses up from the moment the plane creaks upward from the runway, its wheels dangling as they leave Terra Firma with a remarkably high, but not quite 100% chance of returning intact, until the moment the seat belt light goes "ding" and the captain says (right on cue):

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome again aboard Flight 813 from Miami non-stop to Rome. We've achieved our flight altitude of 30,000 feet, where we expect nothing but smooth sailing for the duration of the flight. We will be arriving in Roma, Italia" (he says this faking an Italian accent, and quite possibly gesticulating) "... in about 10 hours and a ten minutes, where the weather is quite warm with only a 30% chance of rain. We may be able to land sooner if the wind gods favor our flight."

A comedian. Jack rolls his eyes. Some chuckles can be heard among the few passengers and one of the flight attendants paying attention. Why would he say such a strange thing? Jack wondered. Why would anyone laugh at that? Jack is the type who puzzles over everything, but especially jokes and anything not literally, empirically true.

The captain again: "Although it's dark and you really can't see anything but the cloud tops, you'll have to trust me when I say we're currently flying over the famous Bermuda triangle, where absolutely nothing bad has ever happened, at least not to this crew on dozens and dozens of round trip flights. Our world-class crew is dedicated to make sure nothing does, and is highly trained to ensure your enjoyment and safety, so please feel free to ask them for help and by all means take their advice. We hope this is the most boring flight you ever experienced, because Italy is lots of fun and you can use some sleep. Toward that end we'll be dimming the cabin lights shortly. Now might be a good time to visit our luxurious lavatories, conveniently located at the front, back and middle of our fairly full Boeing 757. I'll only bug you from this point on if there is a very good reason to do so. Good night, and sleep tight!"

Usually Jack feels fairly relieved at this point in a flight, but the captain's remarks for some reason make him uneasy.

#

Do you suppose even one of them really wants to live?

Uh oh. I see where this is going.

No, seriously. I don't mean just that they don't want to die (albeit they are tempting fate in a flying hunk of metal whizzing by at unnatural speeds and at heights no man was built to breathe, over a dark, deep, and heartless ocean, to boot). I mean, does even one affirmatively want to live?

I doubt they think about it very much. They are easily distracted by comfort and convenience.

I see you're right. But they should think about it.

#

Melinda Cross is a middle aged woman with sagging breasts, a sagging career as a nurse, and a furrowed brow forged by pure exhaustion who has simply had it with the punks in the seat in front of her. She resolves to escalate her displeasure with their mother, but their mother, a heavy set black woman with a fuck-all attitude even as she snores like an angel, seems determined to shut the world out and get some damn sleep.

"Excuse--uh, I'm sorry but... Excuse me, ma'am," she says as she leans into the gap between the seats to get the woman's attention. It doesn't work.

The kids are looking at her like Get Out the Way, Bitch! and so she tries a different tack. "Hi, boys. Listen, can I ask you to stop jumping and throwing your... food or whatever around."

"These are peanuts," the younger boy explains, holding one up. She sees something quite cute in his and is just about to chuckle and apologize for being so harsh when he throws it at her, hitting her right between the eyes.

The older boy howls in approval and they start jumping again.

Something like rage begins to rise up in Melinda's chest.

#

Kevin and his fiancée Libby occupy one of the few rows with an empty aisle seat, a fact which Libby uses to her advantage as she attempts to lean into Kevin in a more or less fetal position. Meanwhile, inside her, in an actual fetal position, is their soon-to-be baby girl, Grace, who is unusually active today, and making it difficult for Libby to find rest.

Truth be told, Libby is not at all sure about this. Any of it. Her pregnancy, this trip, Kevin's rosy-eyed confidence that Everything is going to be OK. No, awesome! She loved him, she supposed, but aside from good sex and a stable relationship, he bores the daylights out of her.

Ordinarily, Libby can use reverse psychology on him (or, failing that, sex) to get him to do what she wants. But this trip, at a time their finances are, well, still not what you would call actual middle class, yet, this trip seems ...extraneous. Unnecessary. Risky. But his heart was set on it, and it is his heart that makes him literally impossible to reason with. His parents discovered this when they tried to dissuade him from marrying her.

Libby despises Kevin's rich, entitled, and frankly idiotic parents. It seems somehow impossible that such a sensitive, albeit bookish and occasionally strong-willed man of such chivalry could be born to such uncaring dolts.

She felt a rumble of the plane over what must be a rough patch of air. The baby keeps stirring in her. Why are we going to Italy right now? she thinks to herself. Why?

#

What is this here? A fuel line?

Pop.

The plane carrying 298 souls (299 if you count Grace) whirs off into the darkness quietly.

The pilot doesn't notice the little light telling him the fuel is gone right away.