Fading Light

From what I was told, it happened on a chill, autumn evening; right when the tip of the sun vanished below the horizon. I can still remember the picturesque sunset: the remaining rays painted the edge of the sky a gentle pink, until the darkness of night slyly consumed the pretty color into a menacing purple-gray. I tried shriveling in my toddler seat, but no matter how low I got, the darkening atmosphere still watched me. “Daddy, it’s getting dark out. Can I have your phone to make it brighter?” My sister spoke out in the growing darkness.

"For the fourth time, no. We’re almost home,” my dad said harshly. I didn’t know whether to be afraid of the monster that crept around our car or of my own dad.

I peeked over at Mom. She laid motionless against the seat and her head leaned onto the window. It looked like she was asleep.

“You never let me do what I want!” My sister shouted. My toddler brain couldn’t tell if she was fully frightened or angry. All the tension in the car made me wish Dad would've driven faster and get into the safety of our home, but all I could do was close my eyes and suck on my thumb. It lowered my pumping anxiety for a couple of minutes until my seat suddenly held me back from being flown forward. We spun in what felt like a big circle. I instinctively let out a scream which harmonized with my older sister’s, our voices bounced inside the car. We slammed into something hard on our right and my window fully faced the ominous creature that covered the sky. My growing brain knew that wasn’t normal. The only way I could somehow comfort myself then was to cry. Once the tears left my eyes, I noticed they fell toward my sister, when they were supposed to fall down my face. My tear made the tiniest splat on her cheek. She looked right at me. I never forgot the traumatizing fear that filled her vivid green eyes.

“Mommy! Daddy! Help!” I screamed at them.

I watched my father carefully shake Mom, who still seemed unconscious. Her body slowly moved, and her eyes opened. Her brown eyes—that were different from Dad’s, Stella’s, and my green irises—appeared exhausted with fatigue, but leisurely gained consciousness from the growing horror that pulsed in the car. “What’s… going on?” She said, moving forward. She still sounded groggy, but not as much as when Dad had to pick her up earlier. Her movement made the car wobble. It tipped us back and forth over the cliff.

“Nobody move,” Dad said sternly. I couldn’t understand the rest of his words over my crying. He looked over at me. Through my blurry, tear-filled eyes, I stared into his. They were completely concrete. They penetrated my shaking soul with a wave of reassurance, just how an anchor could secure a ship in the middle of a storm. His calm, determined face hushed my crying. “Sweetie, calm down. Everything will be okay,” he spoke to me softly. It’s fascinating how he was stiffer in a calm situation, but soft in a dangerous one. He looked at the rest of my family. “We’re going to be alright. I’ll call 9-1-1, and they’ll tell us what to do.” As I watched him press the bright buttons on his phone screen, a car door slammed shut on our left. A gasp escaped out of me and Stella's throats. My heart raced. I swear I felt it thump against the skin of my own chest. A bright light illuminated the sky, followed by a soft boom that echoed across the land.

Raindrops fell onto my window, making soft tink sounds. Just above my tilted window, I saw a balding head with patches of white hair. The person approached the car and stood a couple of feet before us. I wanted to lean up to see who it was, but I was so afraid that if I made one slight movement, I'd send us down. “Dad! Help us!” Dad shouted out in desperation from his lowered window.

The figure came closer to the car. Once I was able to see more of his features, I immediately recognized the stranger’s face. It was Grampy. He was about to approach Dad’s door but stopped. “Dad! What are you doing? Why are you just standing there?!” My father yelled. The confidence in his voice from earlier evaporated.

“You knew you were going to get this one day,” Grampy’s familiar voice rattled into my ears. Another boom cracked across the sky; it sounded louder than the last one.

“What the hell are you talking about? Get us out!”

“Why should I help you when you’re still putting my granddaughters’ lives in danger?”

“Pop, we talked about this multiple times,” Mom gained awareness of what was occurring. “Once Franklin and I were out of rehab, that’s when we'd be able to take the girls back. You did everything you could to watch over them, and we appreciate it.”

“You had your chance to become sober before you went to rehab. But no, you couldn’t control yourselves. I saw how drunk you were when you picked Stella and Larissa up from my house. I screamed at you, Frank, to hand me the car keys, yet you acted like a selfish brat and beat me to a pulp, all from your drunk stupidity. I’m surprised I even survived.” Grampy seethed.

Stella whispered to me, “Daddy beat up Grandpa,” and made the motion of her fist meeting her face.

My fear toward my father rushed back. He appeared to be a two-faced person. He was self-assuring and friendly some days, but others he was aggressive and could easily knock down anyone who stood in his way. The rich scent of alcohol fumigated the house often. Mom acted loopy as well, but she wasn’t as malevolent as Dad, though there was that one time they got in a colossal argument and Stella and I saw her smack a bottle of the red beverage she always drank against Dad’s head.

“Plus the fact that I can obviously see you’re buzzed, Tanya. Not even seeing your own husband beat me up didn’t stop you. I can still smell the horrific stench of that poison in your car. You two are hopeless.”

“Dad, I’m sorry. Tanya and I admit we have a destitute of a habit. You tried to help me, but I acted like a complete jerk. I promise we won’t crawl back to alcohol after this. Please, get us out of here.” I never heard my father so frightened before. The car gradually tipped more to its right. Everyone gasped and instinctively grabbed onto each other. “At least save the girls,” Dad said.

Grampy remained silent. The only sounds that reflected his response were the angry booms thundering all around us. More rain fell onto my window. As the lightning lit the ominous sky, the amount of drops on my window grew, and gave me the feeling the worse was yet to come. When I looked back at Grampy, he raised his one arm toward Dad, as if he held something, but my view was blocked. I glanced at Dad and his eyes grew wide. Just that slight movement made my heart increase its speed tenfold. “You had your chance, you were just too stubborn to take it.”

I never knew so much could happen in a split second. In that one moment, a bang rattled the car I thought the noise itself would push us over the edge. Dad’s head flew back and laid against the seat. Stella and Mom screamed. “POP!” Mom yelled. But before she said anything more, the same BOOM flew in and shattered the air in the car. Blood poured out from the hole in her forehead and she laid motionless against the window. Stella and I looked at each other. Tears ran down both our faces as our lungs grasped for the pieces of oxygen broken from the blasts.

Grampy lowered his arm and headed for my door. He opened it and I started kicking at him as hard as I could. I even tried throwing punches. He put his hands on me, but not in a rough way. He tried to speak over me, but I interrupted every word he said with a frantic scream. “Larissa…Larissa.” Before he continued, he was forcefully pulled backward and punched in the face. He fell to the ground and the person who loomed over him had long, flowing silver hair. He pulled out a long, sharp weapon and threw it downward. Grampy screamed in bloodcurdling agony. My heart couldn’t take in everything that happened.

Suddenly, the car pulled forward and dragged back onto its side. The tall, silver-haired figure stared down at my fidgeting grandfather. Grampy uttered a few words I couldn’t understand. The stranger stared at him so intensively, it was as if his eyes were the real weapon that slowly killed Grampy. He pushed the sword deeper in his chest, and spoke similar words Grampy said. Grampy peeked over at me one last time, gave me the biggest smile I have ever seen him wore, and I watched the light in his green eyes faded away.

“Grampy!” I shouted at him.

The stranger pulled the sword out of Grampy’s chest and held it in his hand. He then glanced over at me. His irises were the same shade as my grandfather’s. Once our eyes met, my body wanted to do anything it could to get away from him. I wanted to escape. I wanted to run. But the only thing I could do was cry. Before I knew it, I started whimpering and cowered as much as I could in my seat. Though I desperately tried to impossibly shrink myself away from this monster, his grassy-green eyes didn’t hold the same anger that penetrated Grampy.

They were soft. And full of light.

He placed the sword back in his holder and casually, yet cautiously approached me.

“Stella!” I screamed at my sister. She did nothing but cowered in the corner of her seat. She didn’t dare to get near me. I looked back at the stranger and pushed myself out of my seat, but the seat belts were locked tight. He stood before me and gently placed a finger onto my cheek, wiping away a tear. His voice was so heavenly comforting, his words immediately lowered my anxiety.

"Ceri– ú- nifred. Everui nad na– okaui." He undid my seatbelts and picked me up into his arms. There were other people who looked just like him. Long silver hair, green eyes, and brownish-green outfits. They stood all around the car. He spoke to the others in his foreign language, as if he commanded them. One of them opened the door and took Stella in her arms. Within the next few minutes, he took both me and my sister into the darkest depth of the woods. I glanced back at the car where they left behind my Grampy and parents. I reached my tiny arm out to my disappearing family. “Mommy. Daddy. Grampy,” I whined for them.

The stranger hugged me and whispered foreign yet soothing words into my ear. The darker it got around me, the tighter I clung to him. He spoke the same words my father told me, “Don’t worry. Everything will be okay.”

14 Years Later

The pounding of my footsteps and the swishing of the other runners bounce throughout the forest around me. I pump every ounce of energy I have into my legs. Someone on my left catches up and aims an arrow right at me. My instincts kick in and adrenaline pulse through my veins, guiding me to dart up a tree, pull out my own bow and arrow, and fire at my opponent while flipping backwards, all before I could hear his own arrow leave his bow. Mine nails him right in the shoulder and he falls. My feet land back on the ground and I keep going. As I rush through the beautiful ebony trees, I breathe in the fresh oxygen, fueling my body even more.

I spot a wooden figure a couple of feet in front of me. I grab my Ulinor mini knife and prepare to throw it at the cut out, when someone appears out of nowhere and jabs his sword at me. I immediately duck, grab his wrists, and hurl him into a tree. He slams into it so hard, it sounds like he’s a tree himself that fell to its death. I take my Ulinor and swipe it across the cut out's neck, cutting it clean through.

I pick up the sudden beating of another pair of feet behind me. Whoever it is, I will not let them win. My eyes immediately spot a thick, brown vine hanging from a nearby tree. I speed up towards it, grab a hold of the vine, and swing myself entirely around the tree with such power, as if my body is a mighty machine. I slam myself into my opponent to the ground, face-planting him right into the autumn leaves decorating the forest floor. Once he’s down, I front flip forward and continue my way onto the track. After dodging more opponents and striking any targets I find, I spot the winning flag standing in the distance. The sight of it sparks hope inside of me, fueling any remaining traces of adrenaline like rockets. The flag approaches me within seconds and is just out of my arm’s reach.

“Larissa!”

The sound of my name breaks my attention like a mirror splintering into a million pieces. My adrenaline halts in its tracks when someone flies right toward me on a vine, steps onto my shoulder as leverage with enough force to knock me down and grabs the flag.

“Time!” someone shouts. I stare up at the winner who joyfully swings on the vine from my pit of defeat. He looks back at me with his confident grassy-green eyes and smile.

"See? You cannot let anything distract you. Not even me.”

***

“You had to pull that one on me,” I say to him. “For once, I almost had the flag.”

Fagin releases a chuckle that fills the open air. “Like I said earlier, you can’t let anything distract you. That’s the one weakness you have had ever since I began training you.”

The sunlight peaks through the trees of our forest home and bounces off his long strands of silver hair. I’m almost awestruck from his natural beauty. Before he saved me that night, I rarely heard about elves. Stella told me how magical they were, that they lived deep in the woods, and they possessed such beauty, even Mother Nature herself was jealous. She showed me pictures of them in one of her storybooks. They were tall creatures with pointy ears and did appear beautiful, though they looked 2-D in the illustrations. She even told me about the elves who worked with Santa up in the North Pole, but they were shorter and wore goofier outfits. Even my two-year-old self enjoyed the taller elves rather than the other kind.

"I want to braid your hair,” I say to Fagin, changing the subject.

He looks at me puzzled. “Well, that was completely off topic.”

“Yes, because it is too darn gorgeous to just sit there on your shoulders. You’ve trained and protected me my whole life. At least let me do something for you in return.”

“By putting pretty strands in the shape of flowers in my hair as if I was raised by fairies? No thank you.” He gazes back at me. His green irises warm up to the sunshine that dazzles the afternoon atmosphere of the forest.

I can’t help but smile. “I was raised by elves and didn’t expect to be trained as one.”

The warmth in his eyes gradually dim. “That’s because I didn’t want to leave you in that car and taken by death," he says, his tone firmly soft.

All I can do is gaze back at him. “I know, and I’m thankful you did. Who knows what my grandfather could’ve done to me."

“That’s why I came along,” he says, linking his arm around mine and taking us back to the center of our hidden realm. “When I saw you panicking in your seat, I saw the innocence in your eyes. Your grandfather didn’t have that spark in his when I threw him to the ground. His were full of malice. I knew deep in his soul he was hungry for revenge and I didn’t dare to see what he would do to a toddler.” He looks back at me. “If I hadn't done that, not only would I have broken our morals, but I wouldn’t be able to see the beautiful girl you’ve become.”

The elves live by a strict code. Fight evil to preserve whatever purity remains in this world. Thousands of years ago, both humans and elves shared the planet in harmony. Until the curses of greed, lust, envy, and pride entered the weak minds of the humans. One by one, hundreds of them became corrupt and wanted anything to please their desires. They stole sacred objects and weapons from their elven brethren. They destroyed parts of the planet to create businesses. They slowly craved domination and became almost vigorous over the wise and ancient years of the elves. They even initiated war against the elves unless they joined their side, but the elves refused to abandon their pure ways to be corrupted by the evil that made a mark on this world. Battles blazed between the two brothers, leaving thousands of them dead, their blood painting the very soil they both originated from. Because of the loss, the elves refused to live among the humans, so they abandoned them. Now they hide in places they believe they cannot be found. Somewhere in the woods in the northern United States is where Fagin, I, and our clan reside.

The opening sunlight draws me out of my thoughts and takes me to the center of my home of Conimar. Swirling staircases intertwined with elvish designs decorate the trees. Small cabins were built in the top center of the trees; the base where the branches secure the homes as a foundation. The ground is covered in brown and black tiles, camouflaging with the earth and marked with the ancient elven language expressing the very purpose we live for:

N- sanda. Termáre- manwa. N- i kal.

Be True. Stay Pure. Be the Light.

“Im’ll govannon- cin an aes?” Fagin asks, stopping in front of the staircase leading to our home.

I give him a look. “You know my Sindarian isn’t as good as my Quenyan.”

He returns a playful smirk. “Cin baur na herdir ha.”

I sigh. “Um, baw, im ceri- ú- anír- na ech- aes?”

He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “I asked, I will meet you for food? Not, Do you want to make food?”

“I was close enough. Ni indóme oment- tye. Linne- care- aiqua tye maure ana care," I reply in Quenyan. I will meet you. Go do whatever you need to do.

He rolls his eyes yet still holds onto that radiant smile of his, kisses me on the forehead, and heads back into the forest. “Care- vamme care- anime nat verca.” Do not do anything crazy.

“Ni tanca indóme!” I sure will!

I climb the staircase and enter. Sunshine peeks into the windows, spreading its splendid light onto the beauty that is held within this structure. The whole entire house is made from nothing but gorgeous, smooth harvest gold wood, which was used by nearby trees. Fagin’s desk sits across the living room with notes and maps in order. Black cushioned window seats sit adjacent to the breathtaking view of our realm. I’ve always enjoyed sitting there and watched our fellow elves practice and relax during the day. In the summer, I loved to see the sun ascend high into the sky, and then descend beyond the tree line, its disappearing rays transformed the blue heaven into shades of orange, pink, and purple, until it completely vanished and the similar darkness consumed everything into night.

When he and the other elves brought Stella and I here, he took us to the head elf, Indrumara. She had majestic, flowing hair like Fagin, except hers was a solid black. She was thin and appeared very young, though I later on learned she’s 4,581 years old. Her dazzling green eyes shimmered like emeralds, brighter than the risen moon that night. Fagin spoke to her in elvish. She slowly approached Fagin and I and looked at me with the most iridescent smile I have ever seen a woman carry. As she continued speaking to him in elvish, I couldn’t help but stare at her in awestruck wonder.

“Welcome, Larissa.” Her voice rang like a soft harp. It was so comforting, it practically evaporated all the fear I just faced less than an hour ago. I knew right then and there everything was going to be okay, like he said. When Fagin carried me back to his place, I never felt so secure in someone’s arms before. I never felt safe in Dad's arms. Growing up, Fagin was the person I looked to. He guided me. He taught me the simple lifestyle of the elves and how to stay true to myself. He trained me with all the skills and knowledge I hold onto to this day. Whenever I had any problems, I knew I could go to him without shame. He accepts and loves me for who I am, though I’m the only human to live among these elves.

I trail toward my bedroom, but before I enter, I notice the empty room next to mine. Fagin not only took me in, but Stella as well. It surprises me now he was willing to take in two human kids at a young age, since no one else wanted the responsibility. At 788, that’s young for an elf. He even looks as if he’s my older brother. Elves around his age are more focused on training to become the best fighters they can be. He still does that, but somehow, his heart wouldn’t allow him to abandon us. He’s the purest being I have ever known. Though I see my fellow elves as spectacular as the stars in the night sky, he’s as brilliant as the sun.

It’s also shocking to know Indrumara allowed Fagin to bring me and my sister in, when humans were the only reason why they isolated themselves. Unfortunately, my sister didn’t obtain the same characteristics as me. No matter how long Fagin dedicated himself to teach her, she constantly rebelled against him. When I was eight and she was ten, she dragged me with her to steal some sacred elven stones. I refused to help her, but she forced me to stay on guard while she snuck inside. By the time she exited, I had no other choice but to do what Fagin trained me to do. I aimed my arrow at her and said, “Stella. You know this isn’t right. Put them back.”

She stood there appalled, then tried running away into the trees. Suddenly, a group of elves swarmed the area and captured her. One of them gave me the offer to shoot my arrow into her brain, but as much as I wanted to honor the morals I was raised by, I didn’t have the courage to kill my own sister. I reluctantly dropped my bow and arrow to the ground and got away from there as far as I could. I’m surprised I was the one who ended up escaping and not Stella. I couldn’t face the judgmental stares penetrating my being after that. But at the end of the day with only the soft moonlight that colored my room in a gentle bluish-silver hue, I felt Fagin enter. I honestly thought he was going to punish me that night, but his presence alone brought an atmosphere of peaceful tranquility and burned away any fears that lingered from my past. He explained to me Stella was banned from the clan and sent to live in the human world.

“Why didn’t the other elves kill her?” I said to him.

“Though she should’ve deserved death, Indrumara decided to let her live, because she is still a very young child.”

Guilt consumed me like a snake strangling its prey; my body shrunk into a ball as tight as it could, as if I tried to suffocate myself.

Fagin leaned over and put his protective arm around me. “You have no need to feel guilty, Larissa,” he read me like a book. I glanced at him through my blurry vision. The moonlight illuminated his hair like it glowed. “Though we are taught to kill anything evil in this world, I think what you did was the purest thing I have seen anyone do. And that’s still holding onto your love for someone, even when they fail.”

No other words lifted me out of the dark before, besides the first words he spoke to me when he took me out of the car.

“Larissa.”

A familiar, sing-song voice flies into my home with a soft tune, like the ringing of a small bell. I quickly leave my bedroom and peer down outside my front door.

“Would you like to take a walk with me?” Indrumara looks up at me with a smile as bright as the afternoon sun. Her black hair is tied up in a beautiful yet simple braided bun. She wears an elegant, bluish-green elven robe gently swishing in the crisp autumn air. The gown reaches all the way to the ground, practically hiding her feet. The bottom of the robe and the edges of her sleeves are decorated with delicate elven patterns in silver thread, glistening in the sunlight.

“Of course!” I exclaim, closing my door immediately and rushing down the steps. I greet her with a generous bow and look up to my clan’s valiant leader. So much knowledge and wisdom rest in those immortal eyes. They have lived much longer than my own guardian. She turns around and I follow her into the woods; their leaves paint our surrounding barrier with the intertwining colors of red, orange, and yellow, matching the shifting shades of the setting sun.

By the time we arrive at Indrumara’s home, the sun sits at the base of the horizon. It’s fading light cools the air from its warm golden hues to relaxing blues. Indrumara pours a glass of clean water into a crystal cup handcrafted by the elves long ago. We’re lucky these ones survived when my kind began stealing from them. She hands me the cup and pours herself one as well. “You have been such a bright light in our clan, Larissa. You are doing marvelous in your training, and I even heard your slowly getting better with your Sindarian.”

"Ha na- ú- sui man sui nin Quenyan.” It is not as good as my Quenyan.

Her laugh sounds like music conducted by a professional musician. “Well, just saying that sentence shows you’re improving.” I can’t help but smile at her and take a sip of my water. It’s so clean, it’s as if I’m drinking melted diamonds. She walks to the center of the floor. Her settlement is planted in the middle of the woods with only the trees as her shelter. She doesn’t see the need of the wooden homes like the rest of us do. “Not only have you been doing wonderful in your tasks, but you seem to have been taking a guiding role with your fellow elves. You assist them with any difficulties of theirs without hesitation.”

“Is that a bad thing?” I ask hesitantly.

She looks at me surprised, as if I just cursed at her in elvish. “No! I’m practically awestruck with what you’re doing with your part in our home.”

"I just see myself doing the same thing as everyone else.”

“That may be true,” she says, turning towards me. “But I know there’s something about you that is different.” Her eyes fill up with an everlasting hope that almost takes my breath away. “There’s a unique quality you carry with you.”

“Is it because I’m the only human?”

The happiness in her eyes dim and she looks away. “Larissa. I’ve actually been waiting for this moment for many years.”

Anxiety slowly pumps through my veins. “What do you mean?”

She looks back at me with an emotion I have never seen in her irises.

Sorrow.

“Do you still remember that day when you were rescued?”

As much as I try not to look back on it, I nod.

“And do you remember when Fagin brought you to me for the first time?”

I again nod.

“The moment he introduced me to you, I recognized you immediately.”

My cup almost slips from my hand, but my quick instincts grasp it before it even falls. “How?” I say stunned.

She looks away again, takes a deep breath, and tries to hold her composure that she’s always gracefully carried. It’s heart shattering when someone you’ve always seen as invincible leisurely breaking, like their strength was only a weak shield. Indrumara stares at me with a look of agonizing regret. “Your grandfather was my husband.”

Sweat begins to build up on the glass and no matter how tightly I hold onto it, it continues slipping.

“He and I had a son, your father, Franklin. He was born not too long after the elves and humans separated. We thought we were completely free from their horrendous ways, until your grandfather started changing. He wasn’t acting like himself. He grew easily irritated, he wanted to take charge and rule the realm all by himself, and even threatened to harm anyone who would disobey him. That’s when I realized our own kind were becoming submissive to the same evil as the humans were. Just like that night you refused to take your sister’s life, I refused to take my husband’s. I couldn’t imagine watching it drain out of the eyes who belonged to my love. So, I banished him from Conimar, exactly what I did with your sister, but the next morning, your father was missing. Everyone and I searched the whole forest for him, when we spotted Maxel carrying him in the distance, but he was already in the nearby human city of Madison. We were too late to save your father.

“I immediately ordered my elves to at least keep an eye on Frank, in case your grandfather did anything to hurt him. Unfortunately, as they watched, he grew just as fraudulent as Maxel. Though he was long gone, one day someone reported to me he was married and had two children. Part of me wanted to let him rot in his revolting ways, but there was a small spark of hope that refused to go out. I gave him the orders to keep an eye on you and your sister and to be on guard if anything happened to you both. Ever since you were born, you have been watched over, until he was needed. And he achieved his mission when he finally slayed your grandfather.”

My cup drops and crashes on the smooth stones.

"I was thankful that Fagin brought you and Stella back to me. Not only did he save you from being killed, but you were also rescued from that retched world out there.” She glanced away. “Or at least I thought, until your sister ended up getting her personality from your father.” There’s so much emptiness in her eyes the light they held dimmed, but then they brighten back up when she looks at me. “That’s why I’m so proud of you. You were the only hope I held on to. First seeing my own husband become a puppet to the malice that has entered our world, then hearing he took our own son the same path, I thought our entire species was doomed. I honestly thought you would be consumed by the darkness as well, but you weren’t. That’s why Fagin and I saw something special in you. You were the only one who held onto your true nature while the rest of the family faded away.”

“It was all Fagin. He raised me that way."

“But you chose to listen to him when Stella didn’t.”

My body freezes in an invisible ice and refuses to break free. All of my life was a partial lie. I thought I was different for being the only human among a clan of elves. But I’m not. I’m just an elf who was touched by the shadows, but was the only one who escaped.

***

Moonlight spills onto the open dining area and decorates the tablecloths in extravagant silver beauty. Indrumara allows me to sit next to her as the whole clan gathers for supper. Fagin also joins me on my left as we eat the richly cooked moose our hunters caught for the day. He instinctively knew something was bothering me, but through the new realization of my elven abilities, Indrumara gave him the message of our previous conversation. I felt his hand rest on mine and I squeeze it. I’m so thankful he is in my life. I can’t imagine what it would be like without him.

During the middle of the meal, someone suddenly walks up to Indrumara with a concerned look. “Indrumara, there is something I must speak with you. I was waiting to tell you earlier, but I cannot hold it in any longer.”

“We can discuss it after supper,” she responds.

“Actually, I think it is important for Larissa to hear this as well,” he says, looking at me. I grip my fork and freeze up again. How many more serious conversations must I hear today?

“You see, I’ve been wanting to tell you this the day it happened, but when I saw how delighted you were when we brought her into our home, I thought it would’ve been best to wait. Now that Larissa has reached this mature age, I think she should know the truth.”

She holds up her hand. “I’ve already had the conversation with her. She has heard enough for today.”

“It’s not about her specifically. It’s about Fagin Gylon.”

My heart stops beating and I grip my fork even more.

“What about him?” she says.

The elf hesitates. “When Fagin ordered us to save Larissa and her sister from Maxel, I tried pulling him back because I felt Maxel was trying to rescue Larissa, not attack her. After he shot Frank and his wife, he put his gun away. If he intended to hurt her, he still would’ve had his weapon out. I read in his body language he tried to get her out of there. I explained that to Fagin, but he refused to listen. The more she screamed, the more he fought against me to save her. I couldn’t hold him back any longer. He stormed out of the woods and brought Maxel down savagely. We had no other choice but to follow him. We helped pull the car back on its wheels and I saw he planted the sword in Maxel’s chest. It was as if Fagin’s eyes were the real daggers that pierced Maxel, though. I never saw them full of monstrous hostility in all my years I’ve known him. He hadn’t attacked an enemy with that much aggression before.”

Hearing the truth about my entire family may have splintered my soul, but now listening to this mahogany about the only person I trusted my whole life felt like I was shot by an arrow, deepening the wound until my soul splits into a million pieces, exactly how the air shattered when my parents were killed. My hand couldn’t decide whether to keep gripping onto my fork or throw it onto the ground at the elf’s feet. I stand up and face the weakling. “How dare you accuse Fagin in such a way? Have you forgotten the light that always shone in him? Not one trace of it has ever faded in my fourteen years of living with any of you.” I look at him dead in the eyes. “You are wrong. Fagin Gylon would never have murdered my grandfather in a gruesome way.”

“But you saw him take Maxel’s life as well, Larissa. You watched him with a look of horror.”

“Because I was a three-year old seeing a stranger stab my grandfather! What child wouldn’t be petrified of that? Fagin had the opportunity to take my life as well, but he didn’t. Instead, he approached me with the softest love not even my own parents gave me. That alone shows he’s not the person you claim him to be.”

Fagin rises, too. “Caplin, you’ve known me for five centuries. I only kill on how we were trained. Not with malice, but with justice.”

Another elf stands and speaks up. “No, Fagin, Caplin’s right. We all sensed Maxel’s behavior towards Larissa. He didn’t have any intend to harm her at all. He only came to rescue her from her parents.”

“Indrumara gave me the order to protect her if something were to happen. I should’ve disobeyed our leader and let an innocent toddler be taken by a murderer?”

Caplin steps forward and looks back at Fagin with a stolid glare, but I can sense the remorse in his eyes. “He still had good intention in him, Fagin. He may have grown corrupt over the decades, but that darkness inside his soul was breaking. I felt his desperation to save her. He begged you to let him go, but you didn’t give him a chance. You were blinded by your own belligerence, just like he was when he left. You were fueled by anger, not justice.”

Indrumara shot upward, her chair moving hastily, sparking a similar sound to a thunderous boom. “My husband became a slave to evil and never even refused to fight. I didn’t want to see my own granddaughters’ purity wither away like he and my own son."

Caplin’s bravery shrinks like a dying plant from his leader’s voice, but somehow, he doesn’t back down. “We’re telling you the truth, Indrumara. You may have thought he was gone, but he still held onto the remaining pieces of his true self. He wanted to go back to the way he once was, so he tried regaining it by saving Larissa and Stella. That’s why we tried to prevent Fagin from attacking him.”

“But he still committed murder!” Fagin’s voice explodes. Whenever he faced a serious situation, he was always calm and formal, not one flame of anger sparked in his tone. But now, his voice roars like a wildfire. The sound of it makes me pull my hand out of his. He looks back at me perplexed, concern ripples in the grassy-green fields of his eyes.

“You see, there you go! You’re already acting combative without you noticing it; the same way you acted when you took down Maxel. Anything stressful used to glide by you like a butterfly, but now, one little flap can irritate you and you’ll snatch up that creature in seconds, crushing it until its flapping ceases.”

“That is not true,” I plea to Caplin. “He never attempted to hurt me as he raised me. All he gave me was love and patience.” Tears uncontrollably escape my eyes. I feel my growing weeps desperately put my broken spirit back together.

“He may have acted that way towards you, but you haven’t seen him whenever he was with the other elves. There were multiple moments an eerie dander loomed over him, like something was possessing him.” He looks back at Indrumara. “I believe the evil has swept in our land and has taken hostage of our own kind once again.”

Other elves nod. I peek over at her and also see tears streaming in her eyes. Only one however escapes and falls down her smooth cheek. The silence is immensely fragile, nobody dares to break it. Indrumara abandons the dinner table and walks back into the forest, but before she continues, she looks back at both me and Fagin, but I know her eyes target him. He immediately obeys and follows her in the silver-lit woods. I gaze back at the rest of the elves. They all watch me with the same curiosity the night they waited for me to kill my sister. But instead of running away like a coward, I leave with my head held high, carrying my fractured pieces, and refuse them to crumble into smaller, irreplaceable parts.

***

The door to the only home I’ve ever known opens, bringing in the brightest moonlight I’ve seen in months. I quickly enter the living room and spot Fagin’s silhouette in the door frame. His posture is as sanguine as usual, but my senses know his heart feels something different. He calmly comes into the house and closes the door.

I run up to him and place my hand on his cheek. “Fagin, what happened?” I say.

He stares downward; his eyes are as stiff as stone, but they fill with infinite sadness. “Indrumara eque i ni maure ana lende.” Indrumara says that I need to leave.

The remaining pieces I’ve held onto of myself completely disintegrates. “Ni indóme lende as tye.’ I will leave with you.

His eyes unfreeze and he stares at me startled. “No, you need to stay here,” he says with gentle affirmation.

“You chose to rescue me from my former life. I can’t imagine living the rest of it without you.”

He pulls me into his arms and holds me just as tight when he took me into the woods for the first time. I place my head into his shoulder and release my cries I’ve been holding onto since my talk with Indrumara. It feels like this entire second chance was nothing but a lie. The paradise that took me in from my previously damage world turned into the same hell I thought I escaped from. The most virtuous person who protected and raised me with his life, has been infected by the same vile poison that took away my whole family.

If I had to give them up, then I’m not losing another family member.

***

We hand over all of our valuable elven belongings to our brethren. Indrumara watches the both of us with great melancholy, but I realize she focuses on me. I’ve explained to her previously I knew I had the option to remain in Conimar and allow her to continue raising me, but I simply stated that as much as I cared for her, she wasn’t the one who took care of me every single day the past fourteen years, nor wasn’t always available by my side whenever I needed someone. She’s very wise not only as a grandmother, but a leader, yet, she would only encourage me to be completely independent, rather than providing the comfort and support I’ve received from Fagin.

As I hand my last weapon to one of the elves, Indrumara holds up her hand in interruption, places my Ulinor back into my palm, and enclose my fingers tightly around the handle. “Keep it, in case you need to protect yourself out there.” She places her hand onto my cheek and stares deeply into my eyes. “Larissa, hold onto to whatever light remains in you. Don’t give into the dark. Remember who you are.”

I nod as I feel tears roll down my cheeks. I give her a farewell hug and squeeze her as tightly as I can. Smelling the rich scent of the woods lingering on her will make me miss Conimar even more.

“Shine a light for both you and Fagin, no matter how hard the shadows try to dim it.”

I look back into her immortal emerald eyes. “Ni indóme.” I will.

I reluctantly turn away and walk towards Fagin. We both look at each other with unbearable grief, but we both feel the remaining traces of our elven bravery still beating in our hearts. I reach for his hand. He lovingly takes it and we head straight into the auburn woods that exit out of Conimar.

Though my heart stings with every beat, I know one thing is for sure. No matter what darkness lies before us in the human world, and though overtime we will lose our immortality and elven ways, as long as we continue to hold onto the love we’ve had for each other since we first met, love alone can be our brightest light in the dark.