Elf Doll

An Elf doll sat on the sofa. He wore a green outfit. His big blue eyes shone like wet marbles. In walked Stephanie. She noticed the doll on the sofa and called out to her husband.

“Ron,” she said. He appeared a few moments later.

“What is it?”

“Did you buy that thing?” she asked, pointing to the Elf.

“Yeah,” Ron admitted. “I picked him up in a dollar bin over at RALPH’S. “Why?” Ron asked.

“I wasn’t expecting to see an Elf to be sitting on our sofa,” Stephanie said. He walked over to the thing and picked it up. He gently touched the doll’s nose.

“You know I love Christmas babe,” Ron admitted. Stephanie rolled her eyes and smirked.

“Everyone here in Winter Brook knows how much you love Christmas,” She teased. They kissed and he set the doll back on the couch.

He headed into the kitchen and whistled a Christmas song.

“Do you want hot chocolate?” Ron asked.

“You bet,” Stephanie answered. She grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. She was plenty chilled; that was nothing new. Ron always told her she had no blood or it was because she was a woman. Stephanie affectionately called Ron her furnace. He came back into the room. He had a reindeer shaped mug and she had a fish on her mug. She grew up in Florida but she went to college in Ohio. She met Ron there and they got married. Then she became a proud resident of Winter Brook, Ohio. She hated the snow and Ron hated the heat. They went to the beach once; Ron complained about the heat and the sand.

“I had to dig sand out of my crack for a week,” Ron bellowed. She nearly peed her pants the first time she heard it and couldn’t help smiling remembering it now.

Ron scooted next to her. They cuddled really close as Ron started the movie. She glanced over at the Elf every so often throughout the movie. She felt the doll was watching them and the movie. That kind of thing only happened in storybooks and films. She ignored the doll and cuddled closer to Ron. She heard someone clear their throat.

“Did you just clear your throat?” Stephanie asked. He looked at her and shook his head.

“No.” So she ignored it and continued watching the movie. The movie ended and the couple had fallen asleep.

The Elf pulled out a candy cane shaped knife and jammed it in Ron’s eye. He started convulsing as metal stabbed his brain. The Elf drank from a whiskey bottle and climbed on Stephanie’s chest. Next, he pulled out a lighter. Stephanie woke up as the deranged Elf blew his whiskey breath into the flame. Her face caught fire and the Elf chuckled as he grabbed a toothpick and impaled a marshmallow. He roasted a marshmallow as the warming flames cast a cozy glow.