For the challenge by MacKenzie Davis, https://shopping-feedback.today/writers/official-unofficial-ekphrastic-challenge-rules by MacKenzie Davis,
for the picture contributed by Poppy (https://shopping-feedback.today/authors/poppy-x6cb08zj).
DOWN TO EARTH
I was in paradise. I had my shoes off and felt the cool runnings of the clear water between my toes. The current was brisk, underscored by the smoothness of the variegated stones beneath my feet.
There was a tingling sensation, too, but I trudged on.
I set my sight on a horizon of sorts, the top of the stream source flanked by trees. My goal. To cover the entire expanse. To conquer it and make it mine.
Inexplicably, I grew shorter.
My heels were gone, forcing me to balance on those parts of my feet where toes met foot. I rose to the challenge. I reviewed my progress. This part of my conquest was easy. It was low-haning fruit. Who needs heels anway? Just ask Achilles.
I grew shorter, still.
Victory over my task was getting more arduous. It was only fair, though. You cannot take and take by taking it for granted. I had to earn my progress. Soon I found I was walking on stumps, and no longer on my feet. But it didn't hurt. Not at all.
What lurked beneath? I did not care, for I was above it. I could not be stopped. I made manifest, destiny — to reach the source of the water, no matter what. What drew me to my goal? My destination? I did not know. I did not care. But I would know it when I got there.
I grew shorter again.
I was walking on stumps which were my ankles. I adjusted my center of gravity to new and strange proprioception. I adapted. I was malleable. I pressed on.
I grew shorter, yet again.
I was walking on the midshafts of my shins. Strangely, there was no pain. No blood. And, surprisingly, no alarm. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. After all, I was making progress.
In this world of life-giving water and clarity, my quest began getting muddied. I was walking on kneecaps now, and as if in judgment of me, by the stream, the water was growing deeper. The prospect of a tight race between my shortening and the water's depth was exhilarating. There is life in peril; without it there is no living!
I sauntered on my hip sockets. Amputational karma haunted me, but I was not afraid. I was confident and resolute. It was I, after all!
I AM THE ONE WITH THE QUEST. I AM THE CONQUERER FOR THE TASK ASSIGNMED ME. BY ME.
The to-and-fro of my pelvic girdle was as a dance with the water. It was choreography. I imagined hearing music. Terpsichore helf my hand, but Melpomene watched from behind us. I churned what remained of my mitigated gait. The water grew deeper. I pressed on. I would win this race!
Now I had only my shoulder girdle to support me. My heart was gone — sacrificed to my holy mission. And with it my conscience. My entrails trailed, leaving a trustworthy tracing for those who would follow, to follow. They would think of me. They would know that dominating this river, née, stream, was possible because it had been done. It had been me who had succeeded.
The rapids ahead did not frighten me.
My only means of locomotion was my skull, its mandibular articulations providing the thrust to send me forward in spasmodic fits and jerks. Finally, when that final joint had disarticulated, sending my jaw under the froth, I was as just my head. My mind. My obscession.
It was indeed a tight race, as the turbulence tossed what was left of me, who sputtered and spit, to breathe.
I sank below the cresting tide and was one with the Earth. The Earth won.
My biggest mistake wasn’t trying — bravely or foolishly, or both — to do it without toes, feet, hips, shoulders, or jaw. My biggest mistake was not being wise enough to know what I was up against — that some agendas are bigger than me.
Retired, not tired. Hippocampus, behave!
Make me rich! https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/
My substrack at https://substack.com/@drdileo
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
The story invoked strong personal emotions
More stories from Gerard DiLeo and writers in Fiction and other communities.
In Christianity, January 14 is Festum Asinorum, or "Feast of the Ass." In France it is known as the Fête de l'âne, which has morphed to that from the Feast of Fools. The Christian connection to this celebration is the ass, itself, a donkey used by the holy family to leave Egypt.
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
Comments (10)
Ooh, this is unusual, and striking, and rather pleasing. I feel like this will sit in my brain making meaning for a while. I feel a strange sense of identification with the protagonist, that blind, unreconsidered effort.
Indeed they are. Especially when we deign to tackle them alone.
Awesome story! As a type 1 diabetic, I feel like the average person doesn't realize how treacherous nature can be, while I can't afford the luxury of assuming everything will go according to plan. I love the premise and the execution.
At first, I thought this was a very bizarre story, until I looked deeper into the words. Then I became amazed at how you were able to convey a lesson that is so far above the majority of our heads that we would also lose them if we attempted the same path. Crazy stuff, man. Thank you!
Omg the title was sooo fitting and clever!! That felt like a really vivid nightmare. You're super talented. "You cannot take and take by taking it for granted." I loved that line!
Wow! This was clearly not what I had imagined... a relaxing stroll through the rainforest, by an invigorating creek! What persistence!
Wow! This is superb, Gerard! Absurdist writing at its best. I was getting echoes of John Cheever's "The Swimmer" throughout this. Our MC's denial throughout his attempt at conquest is SO powerful, his boldness to continue even when he begins to see the folly in continuing (round when his stumps are to his knees), and the trudge until he's just a mind out there, it's haunting, visceral. I applaud you, sir. This is fantastic writing. "Now I had only my shoulder girdle to support me. My heart was gone — sacrificed to my holy mission. And with it my conscience. My entrails trailed, leaving a trustworthy tracing for those who would follow, to follow. They would think of me. They would know that dominating this river, née, stream, was possible because it had been done. It had been me who had succeeded." ---This is my favorite section. The symbolism in this paragraph is stunning.
Impressive work! Well written!
Holy cow! Powerful piece. This guy gave it literally everything!
NOTE: no matter how much we plunder and take from the Earth, the Earth will always win, because it exists only for itself.