Doomsday Diary

06/28/32

Notes she Wrote….

The pressure in my sinuses is so intense, I feel there is a very real possibility that my head may blow off, just as the top of a champagne bottle does when it is not quite chilled enough. My mind wonders, to my best friend’s wedding, which was only a few years ago, but feels like a lifetime has passed. It was a beautiful wedding, with endless, crisp champagne. It is unlikely we will ever see each other again or celebrate milestones with our chilled glasses and strawberry garnishes, I miss her every day.

Clouds of smoke billow, wildfires have decimated most parts of the West. It has been three years now, maybe four since people could freely cross state lines. The United States government enforced a mandatory stay at home order, one that was anticipated, to hold until further notice.

Prior to the banning of “non-essential use of technology”, many of us were activist, doing everything in our power and our communities to fight corruption, those were the last moments I had hope. I cannot allow my mind to venture off, and think of freedoms, I had in the past, I cannot, the sadness is too heavy.

It is exceptionally hot today, the fires are making it unbearable to tolerate, my head is pounding, but I have to pretend I am fit and healthy. Marshall law was mandated with the stay-at-home order, it has never been lifted. Law enforcement has completely taken over, these men are cruel, evil even. The sight of a “weak minded” or “weak bodied” individuals is considered worthless to these officials. They will not hesitate to shoot you, at close range, if as much as a cough manages to slip out of your mouth.

I beat myself up, as I go through the events that got us here.

Why, did the American government make enemies with every country?

Why did we betray our allies?

These are dangerous places to allow my mind to explore, but I must, forgetting, is not an option, for me, as its for so many. We had used our voices and other mediums to defend our democracy, this was inevitable. If everyone wasn’t so goddamnned fearful of equality and change, we could have saved this country. Hate has a way of prevailing where love shines light and we are evidence of that, so is the environment.

This heat is assaulting me, I am damn near melting, I want the sun to go down, but when night falls another hell reveals himself. Everything I yearn for these days is a contradiction.

I am a far way off from where I have been staying, walking down what used to be the freeway is my best chance to get back before the alarm rings and curfew begins. The asphalt, or what is left of it, is too damn hot, I have no choice but to pass the officials and walk with the “cattle”. I hate them, and that is what life has come to, injustice and hatred.

I take a light sweater out of my backpack; I have a better chance of surviving when I make myself as ugly and covered as I can. I once forbade the words ugly and hate, maybe because I subconsciously understood that times would alter and become so dark that everything surrounding me would be the absence of life.

I pull my sweater over my head and kiss the heart-shaped locket I wear around my neck; it is the only possession I cared to hold onto, and it serves as my protection. My middle sister, Tatum was the leader of “When Freedom Calls”- the last standing organization, with enough courage to continue our fight. I wear my locket from the movement, because if I manage to keep myself alive, I will commemorate everyone I have lost.

I have three sheets of paper left in this journal, I am considering burying it, so someone can hear my story. What a dreamer I am, to hope anyone would care to share the story of a young woman who survived the fires of irreversible climate decimation and the cyber-attack that dismantled first world freedom.

P.S. I bid a farewell to these pages. I hope with my whole heart they are uncovered and interpreted with grace. Additionally, please find my locket within.

Sincerely yours,

Dru Corso Bedard