Do you look? What are you looking for? Do you know?

I have to ask you, do you look? Have you noticed that you do? Now that you've realized it, what do you think you're looking for?

I had to wonder, as I sit here under the pear tree, grabbing my tissue yet again, in between munching on it's deliciously ripe fruit, why am I looking at it after I have blown away my snot faucet's bounty of the moment? What? "Ick!" you say? Yes, it is icky business, I must agree, but how is it when staring down at that handful of snot-filled tissue, I feel no revulsion? I mean we wouldn't look if it gagged us, right? So, just what exactly am I looking at it for? Is it because I think in between all the leakage of low viscosity secretions, a few brain cells might have defected and I need to capture them and send them back from whence they came? Because seriously who can afford to have brain cells on the lam? I mean really. I can't. I just can't. I'm menopausal and full of brain fog. Those little shits better hustle double time and not be running off down the snot slide.

And speaking of shits, that brings us to the poo-in-the-loo portion of my mind meanderings. You look don't you? I bet a great deal of you do but won't admit it. Just what ARE we looking for? I always say, "color and consistency because that is a sign of gut health. Dr. Oz said so on the Oprah Winfrey show." That makes me sound 'in the know' and like I have a legitimate purpose in canvasing the toilet bowl after a rump dump. Oh, and looking for corn, if you've eaten corn, that is. The time between corn in, and corn out again, is also a signifier of gut health. Did you know that? So, yes, oh surveyor of your bodily excrement, you really can legitimize your untidy bowl hovering. I'm just a regular font of poo trivia to validate your behavioral inclination for poo watching.

I'll let you in on something though, us Boomers (that means old people born in the mid-sixties or before) are secretly looking for those decoder rings we got from Cracker Jacks or cereal boxes before they put age appropriateness labels and choking hazard warnings on products. Or, who knows what other thing we might have swallowed in our unregulated childhood. (shrug) Maybe a ring with a real gem that we continuously hope our bowels will birth back to us. Ewwww. Yeah, that was a bit gross even for me. (Or not....I'm trying to guess what you might want to hear right now so you'll not think less of me. LOL)

As for people born into the technology era where a cellphone becomes an extra appendage shortly after birth, I would hazard a guess that your reason for looking in the loo is totally different than for us oldsters. We had the 'telly' as our 'sitter', referred to as the 'squawk box', to occupy us when our moms needed a break and needed us settled, which mostly meant the weather was bad and we couldn't escape to the outdoors to create neighborhood terror. But techno generations are provided their 'sitter' early on in infancy by modern moms and continuously have the comforting glow of their cellphones with them at all times, right there in their palm -- until it isn't! A cellphone taking a dip in the toilet seems a pretty common fiasco. So, I would surmise that for these generations, staring into the loo after a deposit into the Bank of the Royal Throne is to see how much disgustingness they have to fish in to retrieve their cellphone. Or, do they just go reactionary and grab it first, and then figure out what they just fished in? Interesting train of thought. Don't worry, I have my purse at the ready at all times, complete with hand sanitizers and a barf bag, so I can be ready for anything. So, if you're with me, I've got you!

My brain continues buzzing on all this as I take another bite from my pear, juice dripping from chin, and lean against the trunk to the feel of tree bark pleasantly pressing into my back. Crossing my ankles I continue to enjoy the moments of my mind's revelations.

As you might have guessed, I'm having a snot faucet day and that provoked this mind ramble. Yep, this is me and the goings on inside the old noggin'. So, you're welcome for the insight into the humble abode that is my mind. Never a dull moment in there as it fires off thoughts in rapid succession, but maybe not all of them are something you want to be privy too.

Hope you're having a great day. And pay attention -- Do you look? And what are you looking for? Do you know?

********

(yes, this photo is from Unsplash - surprised me too. LOL)

P.S. And my mind continues on, as I chunk the pear core into the grass for the birds and ants. A silly ditty marches across my brain, much like a Dr. Seuss style rhyme.

"How do you do?

Oh, poo- in-the-loo.

I put you there

And now I must share.

Hey, come see, Mum

I just had a poo fall from my bum

And now it swims in a sea

Of my pretty yellow pee.

********

Don't quit my day job, right? Hmmmm, probably not. Yeah, I'm stopping this nonsense now. I really am.... oh, this darn nose - where's my tissue....