Diary of a Teenager-To-Be: Chapter One

Dear Diary,

I turn 13 years old tomorrow, but I really don't think that I want to be a teenager. My periods started when I was 12 years old, and Mum says I'm always moody now.

"Yeah, like she'd know what a period is like anymore. Does my mum even have periods anymore?"

I'm not going to bother asking because she'd get embarrassed.

I mean, come on!

Why am I not allowed to get moody and upset, and not feel able to talk about it, if my mum gets embarrassed when I ask her about it?

We went to a chemist this morning and bought a pack of sanitary towels.

Could you believe it?

The man behind the counter was embarrassed to serve us!

I mean hey!!

I'm the female bleeding ketchup into my knickers; well it looks like that!

My periods are really painful.

I woke up with really bad stomach pain this morning, and I was tired. Mum still made me go to school though I didn't want to.

She was really upset because I got angry with her.

"I'm sorry Mum. I was in a lot of pain."

The doctor told me to take paracetamol for the pain. I do but it doesn't always work.

Neither does a hot water bottle on my stomach, and I can't stand the idea of having a bath when I'm on my period.

"Ugh! Last time I did that it turned the water red, and I'm not a vampire! I'm a growing teenager in need of rescuing from this nightmare they call 'puberty'!"

Well, I will be tomorrow!

Enough talk about periods; let us talk about boys.

There is a boy in my class called Steven. He is the same age as me. He is a little taller, with chocolate brown eyes, black hair, and a tan, and he has a lot of muscle in his arms to say he isn't a man yet!

I have a crush on him, but I'm not going to tell him!

I usually talk to Steven about everything. We talk about our parents.

Shhh! We both find them weird! My mum wears floral skirts that come down to her knees, and she walks around in stilettos that are way too high for her!

"Who would wear those, weirdo!?"

Anyway, I was talking to Steven in class today, and he kept eyeing my chest. I didn't know why until I came home.

I used to wear these silly little white stringy vests up to now because I was flat-chested. When I went to school this morning, I didn't notice much.

And Steven rarely ever eyes me up.

Anyway; I was embarrassed, and out of anger I refused to speak to him again. I took my top off and looked in the mirror when I got home.

I saw two soft little watermelons, one on each side of my chest!

I didn't like them, so I tried to flatten them by wearing two vests. I felt deeply uncomfortable with boys eyeing me up, despite having a crush on Steven; especially now.

My attempt to flatten them didn't work. Instead, it made my chest feel tight and uncomfortable. I started to sob.

"I hate puberty. Can't I just be a little girl again?"

My mum took me to a shop. She said I needed fitting for a bra. I asked her what was involved.

"Nothing much. They will just measure you up, and I'll buy you a bra; then we will be done!" she replied.

I just stared at her.

"I mean what the hell? You mean I have to stand there, and let someone touch my boobs!?

My mum made me more nervous because she didn't tell me whether it would be a man or a woman who would prep my boobs for a bra!

Anyway, we went to the bra shop, and lucky for me, it was a woman.

"Hi, sugar. You've come for your first bra, haven't you? Can you remove your top, then we will be able to make sure you have the correct fitting?"

I gulped and smiled.

"Sugar!? like I'm three years old. I'm a teenager soon lady; halfway to adulthood!"

She at least took me into a private room for fitting.

"You're a B cup." She told me sweetly after treating me like I was a doll.

"Only a B cup and Steven can see my boobs! I thought a B was pretty small?"

When we got home, I tried my bra on.

I sneaked into my Mum's room to see if she had a bigger vest to put over the bra in an attempt to shrink them and make them invisible, but

I looked like I was wearing a tent!

I resorted to wearing my own oversized jumpers. They gave me some discretion, though I still looked like I had two mountains poking out in front of me!

I'm Tia Johnson, and I'm 13 tomorrow.

Stay tuned to find out how weird that's going to be!