Defective

Jeanette never expected the end of the world to have such well manicured lawns, and yet, as she crept from the side of a minivan to hiding behind a white lattice fence, the hostility of the suburban façade felt just as intimidating as the destruction humanity had always assumed there'd be.

She peered through the fence before hopping over. She grabbed her necklace instantly, keeping the heart-shaped locket from jingling on its chain.

Hindsight being what it was, she shouldn’t have worn it. The locket had been a gift from a patient who’d died. It was back when she was just a doctor and not a survivor, back before humanity fell. After everything she’d lost, everything she’d had to do to make it this far, the small, gold heart kept her human.

Rushing across the freshly mowed lawn, Jeanette flattened herself against the outside of the house next to a sliding glass door. She pulled out a compact mirror to get a quick peek inside the house. The inside of the house was dark and difficult to make much out, but she didn't see any obvious movement. She held her breath as she slid the door open. Bots never bothered to lock their doors. Why would they need to? They'd created the perfect world in humanity's absence.

Jeanette crept silently into the house, praying she wouldn't give herself away. She just needed to make it to the bathroom. And get lucky enough to find medicine. Bots had no need for such things, but there was a little girl back at the base who sorely needed antibiotics. Though, Jeanette would settle for just a forgotten bottle of ibuprofen. Just something to help.

The other survivors told her not to go, that it was a waste of time. But just because the Bots won the war didn't mean she stopped being a doctor. She wouldn't give up on her patient. Just a few more steps to see if it was worth it. This was the third house; Jeanette's hope was wavering. As she reached a door that could've been a bathroom or maybe a pantry, she heard it.

A soft sound floated through the air that hadn't been heard in this area for a long time. A sob. The unmistakable woeful tones of a woman crying. Bots didn't cry; they had no emotion at all besides a flat, cheerful demeanor that they'd been programmed with. The sob hit Jeanette like a lightning bolt. There was a human somewhere in this house, and they were alive.

Jeanette abandoned the door and followed the sad sound. Down a dark hallway and around a corner, Jeanette pushed a door open quietly. She snuck into the room, careful not to make a sound, and immediately regretted every decision she'd ever made that had led her to this moment.

The sobbing wasn't coming from a human. It was a Bot. And it was staring right at her. The beams of light emanating from its eyes were blinding in the dark room.

"Who are you?" the Bot said. Its vocal program somehow sounded thick with tears. Jeanette froze. If she ran, it would kill her. If she stayed, it was probably already alerting others through their shared processing network, and they'd kill her whenever they showed up.

"You are human?" the Bot asked, alarmed. It sat on the ground near the foot of a bed with its knees tucked up to its chest. This was all very strange. Bots didn't act like this, and Jeanette should be dead by now.

The Bot looked her over, light trailing down her body. "Oh, sorry," it said, "This is probably harsh on your eyes." The Bot blinked a few times and the light dimmed to just a soft glow behind its irises.

After a moment, the Bot said, "Oh, you are afraid! I am sorry. That sensation is new to me, I did not recognize it. Yes, you are afraid. You do not need to be. I am no threat to you, I promise."

Jeanette stayed silent. This had to be some sort of trick.

The Bot stood slowly with her hands raised in front of her. "It is okay." She walked over to a light switch on the wall by the door.

Jeanette reflexively took several steps back to maintain space between them.

Light swathed the room, and looking at the Bot made Jeanette gasp. The left side of the Bot's body had been destroyed. Synthetic skin looked like it had been burnt or melted, plenty of dented and scratched metal alloy stood plainly visible on both its arm and leg. Even part of its neck and a bit of its face were similarly damaged. Considering Bots were made to look human, indistinguishable at times, this was all deeply unsettling.

"What happened?" Jeanette asked. She couldn't help herself. None of this made any sense.

The Bot sighed. "I made a mistake. I serve at one of the power hubs. I did not notice the electrical surge. There was an explosion. I was too close."

"Why didn't you get repaired?"

The Bot sniffled. "I feel pain," it said, "Not before that day, but now all the time. They say I am defective. I am not worth the resources to repair. I am to be unmade in the morning."

"Is that why you were crying?" Jeanette asked.

"Crying? Yes, that is what that was. That explains why my breathing rhythm was being disrupted. I thought it was just more damage to my hardware. But you are correct, that was crying."

"Do you...do you feel sad?"

The Bot nodded. "And afraid. I do not want to be unmade. I do not want to be in pain either, but I enjoy existence far more than the alternative."

Jeanette blinked. "You fear death," she said, astonished.

The Bot looked like they might break down in tearless sobs again. They nodded again, shaking slightly.

"How do I know this isn't a trick? Bots don't experience emotion or feel pain. How do I know you haven't alerted others to my being here?"

The Bot lifted their hair, exposing the back of their neck. The light that would normally indicate network connection was missing, the surrounding skin in the same sorry state as the rest of their left side. "I cannot connect. I cannot even detect the network. I do not know why I feel things. I wish I did not. I do not want to be broken." They paused, meeting Jeanette's gaze. "It is true, but it is also a lie. Feeling these sensations makes me feel real. Like I was fake before now. I treasure these sensations as much as I acknowledge they are the reason for my death tomorrow."

This was surreal. Jeanette didn't know what the hell to do. This was the first Bot to feel things. She couldn't just let it be destroyed. But what choice did she have? She couldn't just bring a Bot back to the base. The distraught look on the Bot's face made Jeanette want to give them a hug. Feeling sympathy for a Bot. That was a new one.

"Why are you here?" the Bot asked after a moment.

Jeanette paused. She didn't know how much information she could safely divulge. But if she were to succeed on this mission, this would be her best shot. "I'm looking for medicine."

"Medicine? Are you ill?"

"Someone else is. They have a bad infection, and they might die."

The Bot's eye brows knit together in thought. "Human medication would not be found here. Most was destroyed when the landfills were cleaned," they said. Suddenly, they looked up, expression hopeful. "Do you remember the initial purpose of humans inventing us?"

"You were medical assistants, created after the last pandemic to prevent loss of human life."

"Exactly," the Bot said, "We are all equipped with synthetic analgesia production and other basic human medication interfaces."

"Including antibiotics," Jeanette said, “Oh my God.” She was staring at the closest thing to antibiotics that she was going to get. With the Bot's help, she might actually be able to save her patient. Base security was going to be a problem, but they'd cross that bridge when they got to it.

"Would you be willing to help me?" Jeanette asked.

The Bot replied, "Would you be willing to take me with you?"

"There would be questions for you," Jeanette said, "They may also want to run tests and other things. I'll try to make sure nothing bad happens, but I'm also not in charge there."

The Bot said, "I understand. At least there, I have a chance of survival. I will cooperate in whatever ways are necessary."

"If all goes well, we do have an engineer that could help fix you up a bit."

"Then, I certainly hope all goes well." The Bot smiled for the first time. The smile seemed genuine and not like the flat smiles other Bots always sported. It was equal parts unnerving and encouraging.

Unlike the trip Jeanette had made into town, leaving was much easier. They just took the Bot's car. Simple as that. Jeanette ducked down in the back until they passed the city limits, and they were home free. Jeanette took the wheel from there, getting them back to base quickly.

"Is it safe that you are letting me see how to access your base?" the Bot asked.

"The others won't like it, but I don't exactly have a blind fold on me," Jeanette said, "What you're offering to help me with is worth the risk."

She pulled up to a broken, dirt covered security booth outside of a large building that looked like it'd been abandoned for some time. More windows were broken or missing than not. Jeanette knocked twice on the security booth door, paused, and knocked again.

The guard opened the dusty, dirt smeared window and looked at Jeanette. "Doc, you're back! Didn't think you'd make it if I'm being honest with you. Did you find--" He raised his rifle quickly, training it on the Bot. "What the hell is going on, Doc?"

"They're with me," Jeanette said, "This one's different. They're going to help me treat Allison."

"I don’t know about this, Doc--"

"This Bot feels pain. They aren't connected to the Bots’ network. They're different, I promise. You've got to trust me on this."

The guard reluctantly lowered his rifle. "Only for Allison."

"Thanks," Jeanette said. "This is where we get out," she said to her new companion. The Bot quietly exited the car as Jeanette did the same.

The guard left the booth and got in the car to stash it somewhere away from the building.

Jeanette led the way into the abandoned warehouse. Going down a couple flights of stairs and down a hallway, they entered a much more well maintained and well lit underground facility. She led them straight to Allison's bedside. The small girl had a nasty wound on her leg, and the infection produced a dangerously high fever.

Jeanette watched, hand idly fiddling with her locket, as the Bot's right hand replaced its fingertips with a series of needles. She fought the urge to wake Allison in order to prepare her. Allison had been more or less unconscious for the last forty-eight hours. It was probably better if she slept through this, too.

The Bot inserted each needle at different points, some going for vein access, and some injecting directly into muscle. Allison slept right through it.

After a moment, the Bot removed the needles and reformed their hand. The Bot regarded the small girl with an empathetic reverence that belied a certain level of compassion that warmed Jeanette to see. They smiled. It was soft and kind but filled with the weight of not knowing if any of their efforts would pay off.

Jeanette put a hand on the Bot’s shoulder. “You know, you may just make a good human.”