Dear Inanimate Lover

Dear Patient Paper Towel,

You never cease to amaze me with your ability to always clean up my messes.

Love,

Your Wild Wooden Table With The Shaky Leg

Friends, lovers, strangers, it is time that we bring some more love into this world. I don't know about you though, but I'm kind of tired of people. Some are useless, some just cause more damage, and some need a breath mint.

So I, Oneg in the Arctic, am here to invite, challenge, coerce... you into joining me in this challenge. Join me on this ridiculous journey of love letters to inanimate things. [Maybe we'll do one for people later]

The Challenge

... is quite simple.

Choose two inanimate objects and craft a love letter between the two. Maybe it cheesy like fondue, corny like popcorn, or spicy like serrano chiles. Let's pepper each other [inanimately] with love and longing.

There is no word limit, nor limit to how many letters you may write. I would say submit to Poets or Fiction, just for the word count flexibility.

Make sure you link this piece somewhere in your letter so others can find it, and comment your letter below so I can find it.

The deadline is May 30th at 11:59PM CST.

Awards, Accolades, Stickers, and/or Prizes

Depending on amount of entries, the prize pool may incease. But for now...

1st Place Letter will receive a $15 tip.

2nd Place Letter will receive a $10 tip.

3rd Place will receive a $5 tip.

There will also be a *wild card* letter prize for the most unhinged love letter. This will have a mysterious tip amount.

What I Am Looking For:

Creativity.

Make me cry, make me laugh. Get creative with your inanimate pairings. Get spicy, or break my heart. But make sure I end up feeling something over these ridiculous chop sticks or fake cactus plants.

You can check out one of my letters below as well. No, it is not the model I'm looking for, but just an example to show you that love can spark up between anything if we look hard enough.