Dear Diary

Dear Diary

Tuesday November 22nd

Woke up at 7.31. Got up, washed, dressed, and crossed the day off the calendar. Came downstairs and ate breakfast. Went for a walk. When I came back there was a package addressed to me on my doorstep. What a surprise! I took it into the house and opened it. Inside were seven envelopes. On each one was written a day of the week. I put them all neatly on the living room table and opened the envelope labelled ‘Tuesday,’ because that was the day I’d crossed off the calendar. That meant it must be today.

Inside the envelope was a single piece of paper on which was written:

Tuesday

If the grass is too long, cut it. If the garden is full of dead leaves sweep them up. If there is snow, then clear a path to the gate. If it’s none of these, relax. Trim the hedges in the front and back gardens if they need it. Spread out the compost on the flower beds if there is enough of it. When you have finished, put the letter back into the Tuesday envelope and put it on the kitchen table.

The paper with the instructions on was crinkled and dirty, as though a gardener had taken it to work with him.

So I stuffed it into my pocket and obeyed the instructions in the letter.

At lunchtime I microwaved the ‘Tuesday Lunch’ pack from the freezer and ate it. I watched TV all afternoon, but fell asleep in the chair. When I woke up I microwaved the ‘Tuesday Supper’ pack from the freezer, ate it, and watched TV all evening. I went to bed at 10.47.

Wednesday November 23rd

I woke up and got up at 7.30. I got washed and dressed, and crossed the day off the calendar. I ate breakfast and went for a walk. When I came back I noticed that there were some envelopes on the living room table. On one of them was written ‘Wednesday,’ which was the name of the day I’d crossed off the calendar this morning. So it must be today.

I opened the envelope and on a worn piece of paper was written:

Wednesday

Go to Johnson’s supermarket and buy your weekly food. The shopping list is on the reverse of this paper, as is the map of how to get there. Pay with the blue plastic card which is in your wallet. The pin is 2736. Bring the food back to the house and put into the fridge the ones marked on the list with F, and into the cupboard the ones marked on the list with C. When the task is complete, put this paper back into the Wednesday envelope, and place it on the kitchen table.

I had to take the list with me, so it got crumpled in my pocket. Never mind. I bought everything, put it all away, and left the paper inside the envelope on the kitchen table.

At lunchtime I microwaved the ‘Wednesday Lunch’ pack from the freezer and ate it. I watched TV all afternoon. Then I microwaved the ‘Wednesday Supper’ pack from the freezer. I started to eat it but didn’t like it very much. Ate cookies instead and watched TV all evening. I went to bed at 10.32.

Thursday November 24th

I woke up at 7.31, but I didn’t get out of bed until 7.34. I washed, dressed, and crossed the day off the calendar. I ate breakfast and then went for a walk. When I came back I noticed that there were some envelopes on the living room table. One of them was labelled ‘Thursday,’ which was the day I had crossed off the calendar when I got up. That must be today, so I opened the envelope.

Inside it was a piece of paper with this writing on it:

Thursday

Clean the house from top to bottom. Start upstairs. Clean the bathroom and toilet, open all the windows, and sweep away any cobwebs. Dust the bookshelves and hoover the bedrooms. Then clean downstairs, hoovering all the carpets. When you have finished, put this letter back in the Thursday envelope and put it on the kitchen table.

So I did all of those things.

At lunchtime I microwaved the ‘Thursday Lunch’ pack from the freezer and ate it. I watched TV all afternoon. There were many new programs and I laughed a lot. Then I microwaved the ‘Thursday Supper’ pack from the freezer, ate it, and watched TV all evening. I went to bed at 10.29.

Friday November 25th

I woke up and got up at 7.27. I washed and dressed, and crossed the day off the calendar. After breakfast I went for a walk, and when I came back I noticed that there were some envelopes on the living room table. I decided to open the one labelled ‘Friday,’ because that was the day I’d crossed off the calendar. So it must be today.

Inside it was a well-used piece of paper with the following words on it.

Friday

Take all of the dirty laundry out of the laundry basket and put it into the washing machine. Follow the instructions that are taped to the washing machine. If the weather is good, hang the wet washed clothes outside on the line in the garden to dry. If the weather is bad, put the wet washed clothes into the drying machine. Follow the instructions which are taped to it. When the clothes are dry, put them away in the cupboards in your bedroom. When you have finished, put this letter back into the Friday envelope and put it on the kitchen table.

I did what the instructions told me to.

At lunchtime I microwaved the ‘Friday Lunch’ pack from the freezer and ate it. I watched TV all afternoon. It’s amazing where they get their ideas from! Then I microwaved the ‘Friday Supper’ pack from the freezer, ate it, and watched TV all evening. I went to bed at 10.33.

Saturday November 26th

I woke up at 7.31 and got up at 7.35. I washed, dressed, crossed today’s day off the calendar, and went downstairs. I ate breakfast and then went for a walk.

When I came back I noticed that there were some envelopes on the living room table. Each had the name of a day of the week on it. I chose the one with ‘Saturday’ written on it, because that was the day I’d crossed off the calendar when I got up.

Inside the envelope was a worn out piece of paper with these words on:

Saturday

Follow the map on the reverse of this page to go and visit your Uncle Harry and Aunty Joan. They will be happy to see you, and will give you lunch today. Spend the afternoon there playing with their little dog. Use the map to come home, then put this letter inside the Saturday envelope and put it on the kitchen table.

So I did what the letter told me to do, and I had a very nice time.

When I came home I microwaved the ‘Saturday Supper’ pack from the freezer, ate it, and watched TV all evening. I love TV! I went to bed at 10.52.

Sunday November 27th

I woke up and got up at 7.33. I got washed and dressed and crossed the day off the calendar. I came downstairs, ate breakfast, and went out for a walk.

When I came back I noticed that there were some envelopes on the living room table. One of them had the word ‘Sunday’ written on it, which was the day I’d crossed off the calendar this morning. That must be the name of today.

I opened the envelope and pulled out a worn piece of paper. On it was written:

Sunday

Today is the day you go to church. On the reverse of this paper are the directions on how to go to St. Michael’s church, where there is a service at 11am. Be there by then. Afterwards you will be welcomed by the congregation, so spend as much time there as you like. When you come back, put this letter inside the Sunday envelope and put it on the kitchen table.

I obeyed the instructions and had a very nice day with the very nice people of St. Michael’s church. I had lunch there, so didn’t need to microwave the ‘Sunday Lunch’ pack when I came home. I watched TV all afternoon. It was more fun than church, but the people were nice. Then I microwaved the ‘Sunday Supper’ pack from the freezer, ate it, and watched TV all evening. I went to bed at 10.49.

Monday November 28th

I woke up at 7.37 and got up straight away. I washed myself, dressed myself and crossed the day off the calendar before going downstairs for breakfast. After that I went out for a walk.

When I came back I noticed that there was an envelope on the living room table. On it was written the word ‘Monday,’ so I decided to open it. After all, that was the name of the day I had crossed off the calendar this morning.

Inside the envelope was a very worn piece of paper with the following words written on it:

Monday

When you have finished reading this message, put the piece of paper back into the Monday envelope and put it on the kitchen table where you will find six other envelopes. Go to the cupboard under the stairs and take out one of the cardboard boxes you will find there which have your address on it. Put all seven envelopes inside it, and seal it with the tape you will find in the left-hand kitchen drawer. Take the box to the Post Office and post it (the map is above the left-hand kitchen drawer. Take it with you but you must bring it back and leave it where you found it).

Pay the Post Office with the blue card in your wallet. The pin is 2736. If you have any problems at all you can call me anytime on my mobile. The number is 07552-438729.

Best wishes,

Dr James Carroll

Amnesia Clinic

PS. This afternoon Mrs. Anderson will come and fill up your freezer with ready meals.

I did exactly what the letter told me to do, and went to the Post Office with the box.

At lunchtime I microwaved the ‘Monday Lunch’ pack from the freezer and ate it. It was the last one in there. I started to watch TV, but then Mrs. Anderson arrived and did something in the kitchen. She talked so much that I missed my programs. When she’d gone I microwaved the ‘Monday Supper’ pack from the freezer, ate it, and watched TV all evening. I went to bed at 10.42.

Tuesday November 29th

Woke up at 7.31. Got up, washed, dressed, and crossed the day off the calendar. Went downstairs and ate breakfast. Went for a walk. When I came back there was a package addressed to me on my doorstep. What a surprise! I took it into the house and opened it. Inside were seven envelopes.