Dancing purple clouds

Every night at midnight, the purple clouds came out to dance with the blushing sky. Alanu had watched it happen every night in her dreams for as far back as she could remember. Soft purple wisps of colour as though someone had pulled a paintbrush through the sky and left soft swirls and lines that danced around each other. She had asked her mother where it was a few times but she never got an answer. She tried asking her grandmother just once and was scolded for it.

“No one goes there, it is a wicked place. Who told you about this place?”

“No one Gran, no one.” She knew her Grandmother got angry quickly and tried to avoid it whenever possible.

“You don’t need to protect anyone. You stay clear of troublemakers like that.” Gran said as she gave Alanu a swat on her behind. She remembered that swat each time she felt the urge to ask again and kept her tongue quiet. She often leaned lessons like this from her Gran through the years.

Now that Alanu was 16, her dream had become clearer and more real. The light breeze in the air felt so real on her face and arms. She could feel the grass beneath her bare feet. Her pyjamas even felt like they were fluttering in the breeze. Tonight, she looked up to watch the purple clouds and noticed a bird was flying toward her. As it came closer to the grass beside her it grew and changed its form. No longer a bird but a man. His face seemed familiar, but she did not know him. She wasn’t afraid either and that struck her as odd.

He turned to face her and smiled softly, “Hello Alanu.” He said.

“How do you know my name?” she said, still not afraid, she sat down in the grass and felt the coolness of it with her hands.

He joined her, still with a soft smile, and just far enough away they could not touch without having to reach. “You know who I am. You just have to listen to your heart.”

“My heart?” Alanu was trying to make sense of her surroundings and could not understand what her heart had to do with it. Why was this dream telling her to listen to her heart? She decided to try and ignore the man, maybe he would fade away like things often do in dreams.

“Alanu, what does your heart say?” The man did not fade away.

“I want to enjoy this dream. To watch the clouds and feel things, it seems so real. I don’t want to listen to my heart, or you.” She did not look at him in hope that he would be gone if she stopped looking at him.

“Alanu, you are not dreaming my child.” He said with a slight chuckle in his voice. “It feels real because it is real. It was a dream before, but now that you have turned 16, you have come here for real.”

Alanu slowly looked up at the man, he was smiling, and his face looked as though the moonlight was coming from him. “What?”

“It is real.” He said quietly.

“How can it be real? I remember going to bed. I have this dream every night.” She raised her arms out from herself and turned from side to side to show what she meant.

“You know this place because I call you here each night. You know me because we are a part of each other. It is only now that you are grown that you can bring yourself here completely. I could only bring you in dream form and watch you from a distance. I have watched you grow all these years.”

“Gran said this is a wicked place. Are you wicked?” She looked at him with searching eyes. She did not want him to be wicked.

“Your Gran is why we are apart, and it was her anger that put me here. I am not wicked.”

“Is Gran wicked?” Alanu had so many thoughts trying to break forth. So many questions trying to form.

“No child, she acted out of love, trying to protect your mother. She thought I was not good enough for her daughter.” He shifted on his knees and drew himself closer to her but still did not reach out to her. “I could only reach your mother in dream form while she carried you within her. I have not been able to see her or tell her I am here. She thinks I have abandoned you both.”

“You’re my father? …but I don’t remember seeing you here in my dreams. I don’t understand, why can’t you leave?” Sudden panic started to swell up within her. “Am I stuck here now too?”

Her father breathed in deeply and slowly let out his breath, “You, Alanu are the key to my release. Together we can go back to your mother, but only if you are in full agreement. It must be your will.”

Alanu looked into her father’s eyes, searching for the truth. She wanted to trust him, she wanted to have a chance to know him, to have him in her life. She knew so little about him. Her mother would not speak of him much and looked sad when she asked. Sometimes she would say, “Time will tell.” She thought maybe it meant he might choose to come back one day.

“I want to trust you, but I need more time to understand. I feel guilty leaving you here though.”

“I have waited a long time, but I have had time to think and come to terms with my place. It is your turn to have time to think things through. I can wait and if you decide you do not want me there, I will not be angry. Anger has no place here.”

A tear rolled down her cheek as she stood up and brushed the grass from her pyjamas. She wanted to see her mother, to ask her so many questions. Her mind was racing, and she shut her eyes tight to try and concentrate. The air was suddenly still and the night silent. She opened her eyes to find herself standing alone in her room. She looked around in the dark as though she could find the answer to how this had happened. What made her suddenly leave and reappear at home in her own room. Realizing as she saw her bed, how exhausted she was, she knew she had to try to sleep. In the morning she would demand answers from her mother and grandmother. She told herself she would not stop until she knew the truth as she climbed back into bed. She was asleep before her head had fully settled and for the first time, she did not dream of the dancing purple clouds.