Crooked

I listened to the ocean waves crash against the shore, my eyes closed, inhaling the warm, salty breeze. Beyond that, I could hear nothing. No voices, no sirens, no unwanted secrets or dark thoughts. I wiggled my toes, feeling the grains of sand rub between them. And when I opened my eyes, I couldn’t help but smile.

The sun was beginning to rise over the horizon, shining against the water. The sky was illuminated in deep, bright oranges and dreamy, dusty blues. The sight was made even more mesmerizing when I saw the gorgeous creature traipsing down the beach. Her long, dark hair danced in the wind as her feet splashed in the shallow water. She was wearing a lacy white dress that flowed around her like waves, and her dazzling smile was brighter than the rising sun as she ran toward me over the sand.

“Isn’t it the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” Jane asked. She planted a kiss on my cheek, and I knew her bright pink lipstick had left a smudge there, but I didn’t care.

“Just about,” I replied.

We sat there, gazing out at the water as the sun rose into the sky. Finally, when I could feel the early heat burning against my skin, I stood and went inside to make a phone call. It rang twice before he answered.

“Miss me already?” Adam’s raspy voice came through the phone.

I scoffed. “Barely. How is everything? How’s Randy?”

“We’re doin’ alright,” he replied. “And how is Paradise?”

“Good, good. Everything is lovely. Is the station still, you know, buzzing?”

“Oh yeah,” he said, chuckling. “But not about me. I’m old news. The current gossip around the office is more about you, actually. You and Jane. Tell her I said hi.”

I passed along the message, rolling my eyes, and returned to my conversation with Adam. I dropped my voice and said, “Is it a good time to come back?”

“Absolutely.” I could hear a rustling in the background. “Hold on a second, okay?” More rustling, then I was greeted by a different voice.

“Lenore, hey, how’s Hawaii?” Randy asked.

I grinned, comforted by the thought that the two of them were together. To be honest, the idea of Adam being responsible for Randy’s life while Jane and I were gone had terrified me at first. But after checking in with them constantly and finding they were both alive and neither one of them intoxicated, I felt better. “It’s beautiful. Next time, you can come along, too.”

“Awesome!”

Adam’s voice returned on the other line. “See you soon, Watkins. The kid and I are about to catch a movie.”

#

Adam had come up with a story, and I didn’t want to know what it was. I wasn’t there, and neither was Jane, as far as authorities were concerned. I’d been tempted to ask, on more than one occasion, how he’d explained poor Randy’s involvement in the situation, but thought it best not to.

The day after the incident with Wesley, I’d been a mess, wondering when a police force was going to swarm into my apartment and arrest me, or begin interrogating me. But they never came. Instead, I received a call from Captain Burke, telling me, “Deputy Bliss was kidnapped last night, and he’s in rough shape.” He told me what hospital I could find him in.

“I shot him in the fucking face, Lenore,” Adam had said. I’d gone straight to the hospital and belligerently told him that Wesley was elusive and tricky and he would find some way to come back and torture me. “The man is dead. Trust me.”

He’d also asked Randy to close his eyes before pulling the trigger. “I didn’t want to scar the kid for life. But he probably is, regardless.”

Randy, who was now staying with me indefinitely until his mother got out of rehab, did not seem scarred to me. He called Adam a hero, and told Jane and I that we’re cooler than Katniss, though I’m not sure who she is.

The vacation to Hawaii was Jane’s idea. She’d said that we needed to get away, to clear our heads and spend some time getting to know each other. I would have been a fool to tell her no. I’m sure I learned at least a hundred new things about her before we even got off of the plane. She told me of her love of art, of books and poetry, and of nature and music and dancing. I listened intently to everything she said, watching her lips form quick words as she excitedly told me pleasant stories from her past. I had nothing to say in return. I had no desire to sour the intoxicating, joyful moment with excerpts of my own sordid life. It would be like crafting a marvelous layer cake and icing it with thick, hot tar; A good memory sheathed by a toxic, damning shell.

#

She stood before me on the beach, her hair cascading down in glossy waves. The dress she wore was a delicate blue, all flowing layers of lace and satin. She looked just like an angel.

“I do not know what love is,” I said, “And I’m not sure I ever will. But what I feel for you, I believe, is the closest I have ever been to that… To love.”

Jane gazed up at me, her lips parting in surprise. As much as I tried to fight it, my voice trembled as I spoke, and I felt a tightness in my chest that was nearly suffocating. The moon sparkling off of the water made dazzling patterns of shadow and light dance across her face.

“I told you that I would never let anyone hurt you, and I failed.” I quickly shook the vivid memory of Jane lying motionless on the warehouse floor from my mind. “I promise I will not fail again. That is, if you still want me.”

She smirked. “If I still want you?” A call back to one of our early conversations.

“Without you,” I said, “My life would be purposeless.”

Her smile, the slow fluttering of soft lashes and faint dimples in her cheeks, tore me apart and sewed me back together in an instant. I had never before felt the strange, blossoming warmth that took over my body. Never, in my life, had I felt anything as powerful and crushing. It hurt to look at her, and yet, I felt I would crumble to dust if I looked away.

“Move in with me,” I said.

“Lenore,” she said. For the first time, I felt a connection to the name, knew that it was mine. “Are you serious?”

“I’ve never been more serious in my life. And that’s saying quite a bit, considering who I am as a person.”

Jane laughed, gripping my arm and blinding me with her smile. “Sure. I’d love to move in with you. But I’m bringing my cat.”