Creep Shrieker

I was squatting outside using the woods as a bathroom when I heard a loud howl. I was so scared that I accidentally grabbed a handful of poison ivy leaves to wipe with before picking up my pants to run!

“Ouch,” I shouted after I stood up. Despite my inflamed buttocks, I tried to run as fast as I could. I turned around just in time to see the shrieking beast knocking over a giant tree from the ground, its giant roots tossing stones clear across the forest.

It growled something loud that I couldn’t understand.

“Aaahhh,” I screamed and kept running.

“Wipe out,” it growled louder. Birds flew from the trees before it ripped more of them out of the ground and threw them at me.

I was running as fast as I could. I saw an old ranger station ahead.

I ran inside and shouted at the ranger, “There’s a giant monster outside running after me. Do something!”

He had a smug look on his face, clearly not believing me until the monster ripped off the roof of the ranger station.

“Wipe out,” the monster growled again before picking up the ranger and tossing him into some far away bushes.

I ran out of the station, the monster closing in on me fast. I saw my car and ran towards it. I got in.

I started the engine but the giant beast picked up my car as if it was a toy. I jumped out just in time.

He crushed my car in his giant hands and again growled “wipe out.”

“Oh god, why me?” I shouted.

I started to run, barely missing the monsters giant swipe.

I ran inside of a cave. I heard the monster growling “wipe out,” again and again outside. What did it want? There had to be other animals and humans outside to eat if it was hungry.

The monster banged his giant hands on the mountain again and again, causing rocks and dust to fall around me. I had to get out of this cave.

I kept walking further into the cave until I heard another low growl. No, not another monster.

I turned on my phone light and in front of me was a bear.

“Aaahhh,” I screamed and ran in the other direction. Hopefully the bear would follow and the monster would grab the bear instead of me.

I got outside and ran between the monsters legs, the bear in hot pursuit.

The monster craned its neck to look at me, then turned around to look at the bear, which was now whining.

The monster grabbed the bear, growled “wipe out,” and smelled it. The monster then sneezed, sending the bear flying from its hands.

“No good. Not wipe out,” the monster growled.

It then turned around and growled “wipe out, wipe out, wipe out,” before lunging at me again. I ran towards a hollowed out rock and hid underneath.

The rock was slowly lifted. I gulped and turned around.

“Wipe out?” the monster said, but in a way that sounded like a question this time.

The monster smelled me. It didn’t sneeze.

“Wipe out,” the monster whispered in my ear, its breath hot and smelling of rot.

The monster licked my face, its tongue bumpy and wet.

“Wipe out,” the monster whispered again.

“What do you want from me?” I shouted, trying to remain phlegmatic.

“I ran out of toilet paper and leaves. I do not like using poison ivy. Allergic to the bear fur. Need your tiny human body to wipe out my behind so I can finally feel clean again,” the monster shrieked.

“Oh… my… god…” I said, realizing my fate.

The monster had used me to ‘wipe out’ his behind, then tossed me into a lake.