Confessions of a Barber

Fuqing, also known as Brother Fuqing, opened a small barbershop in the northwest corner of Yangzhou City. With his incredibly nimble razor, he and his mother barely managed to scrape by. However, this summer, Yangzhou suffered a severe drought, and the crops failed completely. Everyone was struggling to feed themselves, let alone have their hair cut. As a result, Fuqing and his mother were going hungry, tightening their belts and waiting for the government's relief funds.

One day, the prefect of Yangzhou, Lu Songren, posted a notice stating that the one million taels of relief funds from the court had been deposited in the government warehouse, but they were stolen overnight by the notorious bandit "Grass Above the Wind." To help the poor, everyone was required to donate, or else they would be thrown into jail. This caused chaos in Yangzhou City. Who had any extra money these days? But the government didn't care, sending fierce bailiffs to collect money from house to house every day. Those with some wealth were left with almost nothing after this ordeal; those without money saw their able-bodied men taken away in chains, waiting for relatives to raise enough money to redeem them. Seeing the money flowing into the treasury every day, Prefect Lu Songren was delighted, indulging in wine and song every day and night.

Fuqing had heard of the bandit Grass Above the Wind. He was known for his exceptional martial arts skills and his habit of stealing from the rich to help the poor. But why would he steal the life-saving money of the poor this time? Fuqing was very disappointed. Now, not only was there no money to save lives, but he also had to give some away. But where could he find money?

One day, Fuqing sat idle in his barbershop again. In the evening, when he returned home with an empty pocket, he found his mother had hanged herself. She couldn't bear to be a burden to Fuqing, and by dying, her son would have to pay one less poll tax. Fuqing held his mother's body and cried all night, cursing, "Grass Above the Wind, you stole the money that could have saved the people, you're driving us to extinction, you've driven my mother to her death!" But cursing was all he could do; as a mere barber, what could he do?

One day, as he was dozing in his shop, a man with golden skin and a thin figure entered, standing like a spear, his hair as short as freshly cut leek fields, but his eyes as sharp as an eagle's. The man came in and said to Fuqing, "Master, shave my head."

Fuqing, seeing a customer, immediately perked up. He asked the man to sit down, then heated a towel and placed it on the man's head. He picked up his shiny razor, "chacha," and honed it on a black, shiny strop, then tested the blade with his thumb. It was bright and cold, extremely sharp. He then removed the towel, steadied the man's head with his left hand, and with his right hand, he held the knife and made a "swish" cut from the forehead to the back!

The man felt a slight coolness on his scalp, and hair fell on his ears. Looking into the shiny copper mirror in front of him, he saw that the right side of his head had a wide, white stripe with clear edges, straight to the bottom. The man couldn't help but praise, "Master, your knife is so fast!"

Fuqing, who had just started his day, was also happy and said, "It's not the knife that's fast, it's the hand. Haven't you heard of the 'Three Knives of Yangzhou'? One of them is the barber's knife. It emphasizes speed over the sharpness of the knife; lightness, lighter than a goose feather!" As he spoke, he wielded the razor, and the hair fell like snowflakes.

The man felt as if a gentle spring breeze had brushed over his scalp, without the slightest obstruction. He felt all his pores opening, stretching and relaxing, but then he heard Fuqing say in his ear, "It's done." The man couldn't believe his ears. Opening his eyes, he saw a smooth, bald head in the copper mirror, and touching it, it was smooth and hairless! He couldn't help but ask, "So quickly done? Master, how many strokes did you use?"

Fuqing smiled and said, "Six strokes. If I used one more, it would ruin my reputation. Is the customer dissatisfied?"

The man laughed and said, "Indeed, it's amazing. We will meet again!" He then left after paying with copper coins.

Today, Fuqing finally had a business, and he was very happy. He closed his shop early and planned to buy some food on the street. On the way, he accidentally saw the newly posted wanted notice from the government. Upon closer inspection, the portrait of the bandit Grass Above the Wind was exactly like the man who had shaved his head today! Fuqing was first shocked, thinking how bold Grass Above the Wind was to show up in broad daylight for a shave, and then he felt hatred - it was he who had driven his mother to her death. If he dared to show up again, he would have his revenge.

A few days later, business was still very slow. One day, a guest finally came in. With eagle-like eyes and a yellowish face, he wore a straw hat, but Fuqing recognized him immediately. Wasn't this Grass Above the Wind? Wasn't this his enemy?

Grass Above the Wind sat down in a grand manner and said in a coarse voice, "The same as before, shave my head—I can't forget your skill."

Fuqing calmed his emotions. Grass Above the Wind was a powerful martial artist, and he was no match for him. He could only act when the opportunity arose and start by shaving his head. So he took off the hat and was stunned. The hair was not long, but it was full of bumps, some broken and scabbed, and more had become purulent and foul-smelling, making it unbearable to look at.

Fuqing thought to himself, "How could a good head become like this in just a few days?" Before he could recover, Grass Above the Wind spoke up, "Master, can you still shave such a head?"

Seeing Grass Above the Wind doubting his skill, Fuqing said, "To be honest, when I was learning from my master, shaving a scabby head was a necessary step. Back then, my master bought a wax gourd and let it rot before letting me practice with the knife. If I cut through the rotten gourd even once, I wouldn't be allowed to graduate." As he spoke, he picked up the knife, honed it on the strop, and without even looking, made a cut.

Grass Above the Wind was startled. Wouldn't this cut break those abscesses? But after the cut, the scalp was still as cool as before, without any pain. Looking in the copper mirror, this time the "forest path" was not as straight as last time, but followed the contours, winding and hidden, absolutely not touching any bumps or abscesses, a great knife skill, great strength! Grass Above the Wind's face showed an excited expression.

At this moment, Fuqing's hand trembled imperceptibly. The neck of the bandit Grass Above the Wind was only an inch away from the bright blade. With a little force...

Suddenly, Grass Above the Wind spoke clearly, "Master, do you want to kill me?"

Fuqing was shocked. He didn't expect his thoughts to be known. The time was ripe, and there would be no other chance. Since it had come to this, he might as well go all out! He gritted his teeth, tightened the blade, and was about to wipe it, but the blade didn't draw blood. His right hand suddenly lost its strength, his wrist numbed, and the razor was somehow in Grass Above the Wind's hand, what a fast move!

Grass Above the Wind lightly weighed the bright razor, with a mocking look in his eyes like a cat playing with a mouse, and said, "With you, a barber with no strength, dare to kill me, aren't you afraid of death?"

Fuqing didn't care about anything anymore, his blood surging, and he cursed, "I'm not afraid of death, I want to kill you. I thought you were a chivalrous thief, but you dare to steal the relief money of the common people. My mother was driven to her death by you, and you see how many people in Yangzhou City have been ruined and committed suicide because of you. Tell me, should I kill you or not?"

Grass Above the Wind looked at Fuqing, suddenly stood up with a serious expression, and bowed deeply, saying, "I haven't found the wrong person, the life and death of the people of Yangzhou are all on you."

Fuqing thought this man was crazy, but he heard Grass Above the Wind ask him, "I ask you, how is Lu Songren as an official?"

This question was fine, but as soon as it was asked, Fuqing was immediately angry and said, "Ever since he came, our people's lives have become more and more difficult day by day. I'm afraid he has scraped off three feet of the ground."

Grass Above the Wind then slowly explained, "That one million taels of silver were not stolen by me. Think about it, that one million taels of silver is extremely heavy. No matter how great my skills are, how could I steal it alone from the warehouse? Even if I stole it, how could I transport it out of Yangzhou City with the city gates tightly closed? That prefect Lu Songren is a great corrupt official. How could he let go of this relief money? So he came up with this extremely vicious plan to kill two birds with one stone. On the one hand, he said I stole it, pointing everyone's anger at me, and secretly took the money for himself. On the other hand, he took the opportunity to loot money extensively. Your mother, those poor people were all driven to their deaths by him. Do you think such a person should die?"

Fuqing was stunned and muttered, "Is there no one to report it?"