Class of 2013 - 19

Chapter Nineteen

After breakfast, James and I waited for the latest raid to get back from Stater Brothers and helped unload the SUV. Once that was done we informed the raiding party that they would have to use one of the other vehicles as transport; we were going to be using the Suburban to transport our captive… once we actually had one. Once our transport was arranged, I had James go to gather our weaponry, while I went to gather some other items. By the time that James was back to the Suburban, I was in the driver’s seat with the air conditioning running to make sure that the interior was cool. Of course, after he finished loading the weapons he glared at me – wanting to ensure that the point of him being displeased got across – before he climbed in the passenger’s seat. Between us on the bench seat was a box.

“What’s in the box?” He asked me, looking at it as he got buckled in.

“Nothing much. Just a present. I meant to give it to you earlier, but shit kept happening in rapid succession, so… here it is.” And with that, I picked up the box and set it in his lap. He looked at it for a moment, then looked at me, then at the box again, and finally pulled off the string that held it shut before opening the cardboard flaps in a rush. When he saw what was inside, he blinked, and then stared at it for a moment. Slowly reaching in, he pulled out a bottle of Coke, and then a Snickers bar.

“It’s not warm… and… this isn’t melted…” His eyes got big, and then he looked at me. “You got this for me?”

“Well… yeah. I did promise you I would. First day of the plague, remember?”

“Oh yeah…” He paused. “Where did you get it?”

“Big 5, when Chien and I went.”

“Ah…”

“Got something else for you too.”

“Two seconds; I gotta enjoy this. It’s been a shitty week.” And with that he opened the coke bottle and downed a good third of it before tearing into the Snickers bar that was in there. A minute or so later both of said items were devoured, and there was an appeased grin on his lips. “Okay, so what else were you talking about mien chub?”

“Check the box again. There’s a false bottom. Take it out, and that’s the other half of your gift.” James blinked at me a couple times, and then peered warily into the box.

“How do I know that this isn’t a bomb or something?”

“I’m sitting next to you in a confined space; that’s how.”

“…Could still be a gun or something…”

I grinned. “Oh just open it, you paranoid motherfucker.”

James grinned and did just that, his eyes going wide when he saw the two nickel plated Peacemakers that were in the box. Slowly, gingerly, he reached in and picked them up in his hands. “No fucking way… are these actually real?”

“Yep. There’s ammo for them in there too. Someone must have ordered them at Big 5. They were in the back room. Figured you would enjoy having them.”

“Aw… thanks man.” James smiled, and then blinked a bit. “So… how do I carry them?”

“Aside from tucking them in your pants or fashioning your own holsters… no idea. They were there with the ammo, but no gun belt or anything was with them.” I shrugged a little. “Sorry dude. But then again, it does give you the opportunity to make something that fits you specifically, rather than having to use something meant for someone else.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” He nodded and put the peacemakers back into the box. “I think I’ll wait to use them until I can carry them properly. Automatics you can stick in your pants or your pocket without much trouble, but these are back heavy. It probably wouldn’t take much for them to fall out.” That said, he sat the box back between us and tossed the empty Coke bottle and Snickers wrapper into the back. “So where are we gonna be going?”

I thought for a moment after the question, driving toward the gate and opening it with the clicker. “I think we’ll go out by my place. It’s more rural out there, so there’s less chance of dealing with a horde, and more chance of finding a lone zombie.” Driving out the gate and closing it, I continued. “That, and we can stop by my place and get some stuff to restrain the fucking thing once we catch it.” I thumbed into the back. “I already got a fencing mask and a dishrag to put on it, so that takes care of any biting that it might try and do, but a couple pairs of handcuffs and some rope might go a long way in restraining it.”

“Sounds good to me. So… we’re heading to your place first I take it?” There was a little bit of hesitation in his voice as he spoke, and I had a feeling I knew what that meant. He wanted to talk to me about something or other.

“Yep, that’s the plan.” I nodded a bit, pulling the SUV out onto the street. “So what is it that you want to talk to me about?”

He blinked. “What are you talking about? I never said I wanted to talk to you about something. Why do you always assume that?”

I just looked over at him with that bored expression he seemed to hate me for.

“Alright, alright…. Fine. Yeah. I wanna talk to you. Happy?”

“I might be if you get on with telling me what it is you wanna talk about.” I said flatly.

I suppose I was a bit short with him at times when it came to discussing things, but when it came to life’s problems, I seemed to be the person that everyone went to. I’d never really understood it, myself, but ever since I got old enough to reason things out in my head, people had come to me for advice – even about things that I had no experience in dealing with. I had very little real-world knowledge about things. I had a lot of theories, and I could figure people out pretty easily given enough information, but experience was something that I didn’t have. Unless you counted talking to people over the internet under some sort of alias – which most people didn’t even consider having a basic social life.

“You’re brilliant at being an asshole, y’know that?”

“I’m brilliant at a lot of things. Now what is it, James?”

He sighed and hung his head. “You’re gonna wanna hit me.”

“I’m not gonna hit you…” I rolled my eyes. “…unless you drag this out.”

“Alright. Fine. It sucks not having a girlfriend, okay? There, I said it, you fat motherfucker. Are you happy now?”

Stopping at the intersection, I couldn’t help but facepalm.

“I knew you were gonna do that.”

“It’s the end of the world, James. It sucks. Period. Is not having a girlfriend really what bugs you the most about it? Honestly?” I looked over at him. “Fuck man, if nothing else, why not just try to get one of the girls that’re left? Molly is single, I know that much. The Boss’s daughters are both single. I don’t know for sure, but who knows? Two of those cheerleaders might be single – and let’s face it, they don’t have the option of being high maintenance anymore, now do they?” I smirked a bit; then went on. “That’s five chicks right there, dude.”

“The problem is that none of them are the one that I want.” James leaned back in the seat. “None of them are the right girl. Not at all.” He paused. “Hold up a second, what about Lea and that redhead?”

“The cheerleader? Christine?”

“Yeah. Her. Why aren’t they on the list of potential bachelorettes?”

I blew out a breath then. “Because they aren’t single.”

James sat up straight then, looking over at me. “Since when?”

I stayed quiet for a moment. “Since they met.”

James faced forward then, and we travelled in silence until we had nearly reached Indian Hills. Then he spoke. “I fucking knew she was a lesbian. I fucking knew it!”

“She’s not…” My words were interrupted before my statement could be finished; James wrapped up enough in his apparent revelation that he wasn’t even listening.

“Shit man… Well, I guess I’m fucked. There’s no chance of that ever happening now.” He looked over at me then. “So what were those other options again?”

“Well… Molly, for starters. She has the looks you like. Short hair, big tits, and she does have the added bonus of actually being shorter than you. Downside is that she’s actually pretty girly and isn’t all that in to fighting and such. So… that’ll be at least one disconnect for you.”

“Disconnect?”

“A point you can’t really use in your favor.”

“Ah. Okay.” He nodded. “What do you think my chances are with her?”

“Well… from what I know, she’s had a few boyfriends, and she’s not exactly a saint… if ya get my meaning?” I saw him grin a little, and then continued. “So she’s at least a likely candidate for being intimate without fussing.” His grin fell and he scowled at me when he heard that last part.

“You make it sound like that’s something I need in a girl.”

I just looked over at him. “Do you know how often you talk about wanting to get laid?”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with what I need or want in a girl. I’m not just all about sex. Fuck man, is that what you think of me? Shit.”

“Y’know how you say you think I’m an evil, villainous motherfucker, even though all I do is talk and never really act on the fucked up shit that I say?”

“Yeah…”

“Other people think that exact same way, especially when it comes to hearing someone talk about the serious subjects of intimacy and love. You talk about getting laid about five times as much as you talk about wanting to have a girlfriend, so everyone else ends up getting the impression that you don’t care about a relationship so much as you do about fucking.”

“That’s bullshit though! I think of sex as the most intimate way to show that you love someone. That’s why it’s called making love!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah… I know that. You know that. You’ve told me that a hundred times already. I get it. However, the rest of the population of Planet Earth doesn’t know what that means to you, and guess what else.”

“What?” He snapped.

“Saying ‘I want to get laid’, or ‘I need to get laid’, doesn’t carry any connotation what so ever of love being involved at all. People hear that and have absolutely no reason to think that you care about anything past getting your dick wet. It’s that simple.”

He was silent for a moment, and then… “Roy…”

“Yeah…?”

“Go fuck yourself, will ya?”

I rolled my eyes. “The truth is the truth. It doesn’t care if you like it or not. It’s not changing just because it’s not enjoyed.”

“Oh, fuck off, Roy.”

I sighed and shook my head. Now I remembered why I usually got short with him. I knew that our conversations usually ended like this if it had to do with anything that really mattered in life. That, or if he was asking for advice or… really if he wanted me to talk to him in general about something he felt was important. I’d give him facts and honest opinion, and both usually pissed him off most of the time. What was I supposed to do though? Just say things to make him feel better? That wouldn’t help with things.

The rest of the trip to my house was silent, and when we pulled up to the gate, I didn’t bother waiting and got out to open it. A minute later it was open and I drove the Suburban inside; then shut the gate again and drove up to the house.

“Wait here. I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Actually, I gotta take a piss. I’ll just go in with you.”

“Alright.” I nodded a bit and we got out, James grabbing his .45 and me grabbing the two Ruger revolvers that I used. I doubted anything had changed since the last time that I was home, but it very well could have. Our back door was a sliding glass door, so it was possible that something could have gotten in from the back door.

A minute or two later we were inside the house, and James went to take care of his business while I searched for my dad’s handcuffs. Why I found them, I also found a nice little collection of stuff – mostly badges for our company, but also a couple of extendable police-style batons and some extra magazines and ammunition for the .45s and the nine millimeter pistols. Chien and I hadn’t gone through and scratched the place barren the first time, so finding this little collection of gear was a nice bonus. I also found something else that was interesting – my dad’s equipment belt. It was too big for James, as my dad had been bigger around than I was, but it did have a couple of holsters on it, as well as magazine pouches and other such things to store stuff. He’d need a different belt, one that fit him properly, but he could certainly use the stuff that was on this one – so I grabbed it with the rest.

Once that was taken care of, I carried everything into the living room and set it down on the coffee table. James came down the hall at about the same time, while I was trying to think of where to get some rope at. We had that yellow plastic cord… rope… stuff… but I never much liked using that – it had been left out in the sun for ages, and was coming apart. We didn’t really have anything that was real rope though. However… we did happen to have more than a few extension cords. Having James start loading the other stuff into the SUV, I headed out into the back yard to go grab one of the extension cords that was out there. It wasn’t hard to find the orange rubber coated electrical cord, considering that it was strewn across the back yard, but rolling it up took a while. If it had been on any sort of spool it might have been faster, but no, I just ended up doing the palm to elbow way of coiling it. Once it was coiled, we were soon enough driving off to find us a zombie.

The drive was silent for a while, but neither of us really felt much like talking. James because he was still in a somewhat shitty mood after our earlier talk, and me because I didn’t feel like opening anymore cans of worms. When it came right down to it, we got along most of the time – but when we had real discussions is when we ended up having the problems. Yet, he still came to me with most of the things that he wanted to talk about; said it was because apparently I was the least judgmental of our group. I supposed that was true when it came to individuals, but I wasn’t so sure about that being the case in general. Now, I did tend to simplify things quite a bit when it came to situations, but that wasn’t being non-judgmental, that was just being simplistic in situational analysis.

As we neared Good Hope Elementary, James finally spoke again.

“So… why do you want to catch a zombie? And I mean the real reason.”

I raised a brow at the question. “What do you mean, ‘the real reason’?”

“Oh come on, there has to be some other reason you want to catch one. I know you enough to know that it’s not just to figure out how they tick.”

“Ah, but that’s just it. I certainly do want to know how they tick, and in great detail, at that.” I grinned as I looked over at him. He scowled.

“Now I know you’re bullshitting me. That grin betrays you.”

“And yet, I’m not lying. That is the real reason.”

“Okay, what’s the deeper reason?”

I smirked. “Ah, you’ve learned.”

“That mean you’re gonna tell me just what you’re planning?”

I glanced at him. “Do you really want to know?”

He paused momentarily. “…I’m starting to wonder that myself, actually.” He looked me up and down. “Is it gonna make me want to hit you?”

I shrugged a little then. “Well James, anything is possible.”

“Okay, now I want to hit you, just for that.”

“Tut, tut… so very touchy.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Will you just fucking tell me already?”

“If you’re sure that you want to know.”

“Yes! I’m sure! Now fucking tell me!”

I laughed. “Alright, alright…” I glanced at him. “You ever wondered if it was really possible to be immortal? In the physical, never dying at all, staying in this plane of reality, eternally living unless you’re killed, sense?”

“I think everyone has, at one point or another… what do zombies have to do with it?”

“I think they might be the key to it.”

“…They’re dead.”

“I know that, but… you yourself said that they had some sort of regenerative ability, now didn’t you?” I raised a brow. “Think about what that could potentially mean, James.”

“If you start talking about coating your skeleton in molten metal, I’m going to punch you in the face for your own good. Got that?”

“I’m serious, James.”

“I know you are. So am I.”

I rolled my eyes. “Look… my theory is this: if they have a regenerative ability, maybe we can figure out what gives it to them, and once we know, maybe we can figure out a way to get it for ourselves… without having to become the living dead, of course.”

“Oh, of course.” He rolled his eyes, and then glared at me. “So that’s what this is all about? Some fucking quest for immortality?”

“No, not just that… there is the legitimate reason of actually figuring out what their biology is. If we can find something that kills them, some sort of chemical or something, we might be able to use it en masse. I mean imagine it… taking out whole hordes of zombies, clearing out cities, maybe even killing zombies off entirely… and doing it with a crop duster.”

He paused. “Okay, that would be nice, I gotta admit.” He leaned back. “So how much of this is about immortality, and how much of this is about the mass extinction of zombies?”

“Ten-ninety, probably.” He looked at me in disbelief, and I rolled my eyes. “Okay, so maybe it’s more like twenty five-seventy five.” He kept the same look, and I just laughed, shaking my head. “Motherfucker, I’m not going to fifty-fifty. Forget it.”

He squinted a little more. “Damn.” Then he grinned. “Alright, so immortality and mass extermination of the living dead. I can dig it.” He tilted his head a little. “So how exactly are you going to find out what makes them regenerate?”

“That’s Alice’s job. She and I had a talk, and she agreed to help. In a way, it’s just one part of the research she’d already be doing. She’s just going to give me reports about what she thinks might be useful information.”

“…Did you talk to the Boss about this, at all?”

“Not a word to him. This operation is blacked out. Besides, I didn’t figure it was something that needed to be cleared. After all, why put more pressure on Alice when we might not be able to use that part of the research anyway? Plus, without the pressure she’ll be able to think more clearly and is less likely to overlook the smaller details of her scientific research and experiments.”

“In other words, a simple ‘no’ could have answered me.”

“…Pretty much.” I shrugged. “But I answered potential questions, too.”

“…Maybe.” He glanced around conspiratorially. “So when are you going to mention this little side project to him, if ever?”

“If things pan out and it turns out we can use this to our advantage, then I will tell him.”

“And if it turns out that none of this will do us any good at all? That it was just a lot of wasted time and effort?”

“Who the hell would cop to that?” I glanced at him. “If it’s not useful, then there’s no reason to bring it up.”

“Okay, I guess that’s true.” He nodded a bit, then blinked as he looked forward. “Hey dude, I think we have our potential captive.” He pointed up the street to where a small crowd of zombies was on the road. One was a crawler, most of its lower body having been stripped away. The rest seemed to be in good condition. “We can clear the walkers away and grab the crawler.”

“Actually, it might be better to get one of the walkers and just off the rest. We need one that’s in tact for full tests to be run properly.” I said, stopping the Suburban once we were about a hundred feet from the group of nine. Looking around to make sure there were no zombies to either side of the truck, I grabbed my scoped rifle and got out. “I’ll pick off all but one of them, and we’ll take whatever one is left.”

James nodded and I got to work. The first one that I offed was the crawler, and then I picked the rest off based on what ones seemed to be in the worst condition. When there was finally only one left, I motioned for James to get out, and I put the rifle back in the SUV, grabbing one of the revolvers instead.

“Well, that was simple.” He looked at me. “Y’know, for a zombie apocalypse, things sure seem to be going right a lot. Doesn’t this just seem a bit too easy to you?”

“Damn it, don’t jinx us!”

“I’m just telling the truth!”

“Yeah, I know, and I’m a little worried about that myself.” I shrugged. “But then again, this isn’t the movies. These things are slow, can’t see, and unless they’re in a large group or surprise you… they’re not too dangerous.”

“Not too dangerous? How do ya figure that?”

“Well, I mean that they’re not too dangerous unless you screw up and get bit, that’s all.”

“Well yeah, in that case...” He paused. “Say… how are we supposed to catch this thing anyway? We can’t just grab it and shove the cloth in its mouth.”

For the first time, I found myself at a loss for words. James was right – we hadn’t thought of that before coming out. We’d thought of the things to restrain it, and we’d brought weapons to deal with others if we needed to, but we hadn’t really planned out how we were going to actually capture whatever one we picked. Leaning on the SUV, I thought for a moment, looking over at James, and an idea came to me.

“You could always walk over, real quiet like, and punch it in the head.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? What if it decides to bite me? What then? We didn’t bring any of the booze, Chubs, and you sure as hell aren’t gonna suck the infection out.”

“If you go to it quietly it won’t have any reason to try and bite you. You can do it.”

“I’ve noticed something in the time that I’ve known you, Roy.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“The more something is likely to fuck me up, the more you seem to believe in me.”

“Believe in the Roy that believes in you.”

“Oh shut up, you’re no badass Mech pilot, and besides… Lea is related to you.”

“There are really times where I wish she wasn’t. That… or at least wish that she was another generation removed. Then nobody could bitch about it if I wanted her.”

He quirked a brow at me. “Does that mean that you’ve thought about it, Roy?”

“Thought about what?” He just gave me that look again. “…Oh. That. Well… no comment.” He rolled his eyes, but I decided to change the subject. “So are you going to go punch the damn thing, or what? If you’re not going to, we have to think up something else.”

“Fine, fine, alright… I’ll do it. On one condition, though.” He grinned.

“What is it?” I sighed and hung my head.

“I want you to give me an honest answer to that question before I do – and I’m not doing it until you do.” He smirked and I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“Honestly? Really? You can’t infer from what I’ve said what the answer is?”

“Oh, I can. I just want you to say it. Now answer me.”

“Of course I’ve fucking thought about it! I’ve seen her naked at least once a week since she got tits!” I threw up my arms, “Hell, for the last few months it’s been every day, up until the zombies showed up. How could I not?”

He just blinked. “Wow… not what I was expecting.”

“What were you expecting?” I blinked.

“Well I figured you’d admit it, but with more embarrassment.” He paused. “Thinking about that now, I guess I should have known better. Pretentious motherfuckers like you never let themselves even appear embarrassed to others.”

“…Ever thought that it might be due to the fact that we aren’t really embarrassed?”

“With the shit that you do, how can’t you be?”

“Pretty simple really. I just don’t think about it that much, and don’t volunteer the information to people. Besides, if I get called on it, the person obviously knows already, so why should I be embarrassed? It’s not like they’re finding out some deep dark secret or something like that.” I glanced over at the zombie that had shambled about seven tenths of the distance. “Are you gonna punch it now or what? It’s only about thirty feet away, James.”

“It can wait. We’re gonna finish talking first.” I sighed, but he went on. “So you mean to tell me that you don’t feel like you should be embarrassed, just because the person already knows? Is that what I’m hearing?”

“Yeah, basically. Is the concept really that hard to comprehend?”

“Hard? No. Then again, it doesn’t seem all that plausible either.”

I glanced over at the zombie. Twenty five feet. “What makes you say that?”

“It just doesn’t seem realistic. That’s not how embarrassment works.”

Twenty feet. “Okay, so then how does embarrassment work, James?”

“It doesn’t matter if the person knows or not. You still feel embarrassed because you know that it isn’t normal.”

Fifteen feet. “Well, perhaps it’s a difference in definitions of normal, then. What’s normal for one person can be taboo for another, and vice versa.”

“Yeah, but I know you, and you…” He paused, “Okay, considering you like mermaids, catgirls, succubae, and all that other various shit that you’re into… maybe your definition is different.”

I smirked then. “Considering that you like some of that stuff too…”

“Shut up!” He snapped, glaring at me. “I’m not a freak like you.”

“If you were, you’d have a lot more fun, James.”

He visibly shuddered. “No thanks.”

I was about to speak, but there was a guttural hiss… snarl… sound off to our side. We both immediately turned our attention to the side, and there was the zombie, not five feet from us. Our eyes shot wide, and I hopped back, bringing up the revolver – but James beat me to it. Instead of getting back, he stepped in and drove his fist into the side of the zombie’s head. Down the infected fiend went, out like a light, and I blinked at the sight. One hit K.O. – the question now being whether that had killed it or not. Being that it was a zombie, I wasn’t sure if there was a way to tell, aside from waiting to see if it got back up, but then I heard a soft sound. Breathing. Breathing that was coming from neither of us, which left only one other possibility remaining.

“I can’t believe that just fucking happened…” I shook my head.

“Is it dead…?” James asked, shaking his hand a bit and rubbing his knuckles.

“I… don’t think so. It sounds like it’s still breathing.”

“Well in that case, let’s get this thing tied up and head back.” He shook his hand a little more. “I really gotta get something to put on my hands. That hurt like a bitch.”

“Well… couldn’t you just wrap your hands? You brought your wraps to school for sparring with Sweet, right?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t bring them. I never figured on actually punching a zombie today.”

I nodded a little bit. “Well… maybe start carrying the wraps with you?”

“Guess I could, but that means putting them on and taking them off and all that bullshit. Can’t keep them on too long anyway, it can fuck up your circulation if you wear them for too long.”

I thought for a moment. “Didn’t the Boss confiscate a pair of brass knuckles from you once upon a time? You brought them to school so you could show us, and he took them.”

“Wasn’t him. Was that sub, but yeah… he probably has them by now. I could always carry those in my pockets.”

“Ta-da! Problem solved.” I grinned, taking the cloth, fencing mask, handcuffs, and extension cord out of the back. “Now, let’s tie this thing up and get back.”