Chimera Couture

“Count backwards for me from 10, Aidan.”

“10, 9, 8…”

“He’s under now, Dr. J.”

Transition surgery is long, complicated, and difficult, but Aidan chose the top doctor in this field, Dr. Sam Jonnalagadda, or Dr. J, as everybody called him for short, of course. Aidan was prepared and ready to become a woman.

From the moment he first tried on his mother’s high heels and dresses at six-years-young, he knew who he really was. His testicles may have descended, but his brain’s messages always relayed that he was a female. The feeling is like knowing you’re left handed, but everybody keeps forcing a pen or pencil into your right hand. You know it’s wrong. It’s your brain that knows who and what you are supposed to be.

Life as a man was forced and Aidan tried every day, in every way, to live that lie. He never wanted to be anything but a fashion designer since the same day he slipped on his mother’s high heels and dresses. He immediately cinched the waist tighter with a wide satin ribbon from his older sister, Chloe's, vanity. He taught himself how to sew by hand at first. For Christmas or on his birthdays, he never asked for a baseball glove or football. He did, however, beg for a sewing machine. That wasn’t taught. That desire was from his brain.

Aidan knew he could still be a great fashion designer and keep his current genitalia, but he didn’t want it. It didn’t belong on him. He’d known that fact for over 16 years since he regaled himself in his mother’s clothing at age six. In terms of fashion design, his penis was a like a bow that needed to be removed or any other accoutrement that just didn’t fit with the style he was feeling and seeking.

*******

“Would you like some chipped ice, Aidan? The surgery is over, and it all went successfully, but your throat must be very dry.”

“Yes,” she said with a raw, raspy voice. “My name is Ada, now.”

“Ohh, that’s a beautiful name, Ada.”

Barely able to explain, Ada whispered the words out “Yes, thank you. I chose it because in Hebrew, it means adornment. I now feel I’m adorned with my true gender identity.”

Ada was discharged five days later, but the recovery process would take six months to two years to completely recover. The most difficult process was the vaginoplasty dilation required to ensure her newly constructed vagina did not close.

Ada tolerated these dilations well even while attending Parsons School of Design and the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT) in New York. At $60,000/year for four years, Parson’s is incredibly expensive, but Ada had already applied and been approved for a FAFSA scholarship and was accepted before her gender reassignment surgery was done.

Ada excelled at Parson’s and her designs were quickly noticed and lauded by top designers like Donatella Versace, Christian Louboutin, and Yves St. Laurent. Ada’s whimsical approach to some designs also caught the attention of Betsey Johnson and she not only became a big fan, but a best friend to Ada. Every one of them offered Ada a design studio within their design house. She had that phenomenal versatility and design aesthetic to be able to catch the attention of all those spectacular fashion designers.

The monetary aspect was unimaginable and so tempting to Ada but deciding which design house to choose was a challenge. Not only was she going to finally live her dream, but she would no longer need to study at Parsons. It was abundantly clear; Ada was exactly who and what she was meant to be — a woman who had become the rising superstar fashion designer.

*******

Ada, being the determined person she always was, turned down all the offers and set up her own design house in her tiny New York apartment in the garment district. With Betsey’s financial and emotional support, Ada wanted to become a self-made icon like those she much admired. She named her studio Ada — that’s all, just Ada. If Coco Chanel can use only one name, so can she. After all, Ada means adornment and that speaks volumes and was backed up by the mind-blowing designs Ada produced and kept topping herself with every day. Each new design, from fabric choices to heralding in new, unique design elements, along with strict attention to detail became impeccable and stare-worthy masterpieces for the fashion-design world.

Ada’s first runway show she named, Renaissance Anarchy, during her very first fashion week extravaganza was a jaw-dropping success. Every designer from student to the most coveted design houses were drooling over each walk on the runway. Not one bad review was given from anybody, and she quickly grew a cult-like following, always anxious to experience her next collection.

Less than one year later, Ada was on Fifth Avenue and what celebrities and fashionistas were wearing or demanding to wear. She was finally where she always wanted to be as a fashion designer and a woman.

*******

During a recent top fashion magazine interview, Ada was asked about the secret to her success. Her answer was evocative of anarchy since Renaissance Anarchy, is the name of her current collection, which is winning every fashion design award and being praised as her most bold, yet classy, couture collection to date.

I'll defer to John Keats in my answer, if I may.

The only means of strengthening one's intellect is to make up one's mind about nothing, to let the mind be a thoroughfare for all thoughts. — John Keats

Personally, I translate that modern day to mean: It's not about making the right decision. It's about making a decision, then making it right.

********

“Count backwards for me from 10, Aidan.”

“10, 9, 8…”

“He’s under now, Dr. J.”

Dr. J asked “Anesthesia, are we good to go?”

Beep… beep… beep… was the first sound Aidan heard. He ached all over and his chest and throat were agonizingly painful.

The door to his hospital room swung open and Dr. J entered quickly saying “Oh, good, you’re finally awake. I need to explain what has happened. You have been under sedation for three days. We were unable to complete your gender reassignment surgery, Aidan.”

“I’m pretty sure this isn’t a joke, but please tell me it is a joke!” Aidan pleaded as best he could.

“I wish I could, Aidan. I really do. Here’s what we know so far. You have a condition called malignant hyperthermia. It is very rare and only manifests itself as an adverse reaction to general anesthesia, so your medical history did not reveal it. It was an emergency situation, and we spent the better part of four hours performing lifesaving maneuvers instead of our planned elective surgery. Your chest is so sore because we eventually had to crack your chest and manually massage your heart to keep you alive. You are so lucky to be alive with that unexpected reaction being resolved successfully, and on track for a complete recovery.

Now, let me tell you what this means going forward. You are never going to do well with general anesthesia for the rest of your life. We will have to reevaluate your surgical risk in any long surgery. I understand this is a lot to process all at once, but you can rest assured that you are going to recover and will not have any negative long-term impact from this surgery, other than healing from your cracked sternum. However, we are pursuing answers to your rare reaction. We have contacted Dr. Robin Anderson, who specializes in anesthesia-related complications, and she is studying your event and running more blood tests. She has given us some hints as to what might have happened, but nothing conclusive yet.

“Tell me what she thinks happened. I need to know something, even if it’s not what she thought it was.”

“She is checking your DNA, Aidan. Which brings me to this next rather odd question. Do you have any knowledge about whether your mother was told she was pregnant with twins while carrying you?”

“What does my DNA have to do with my reaction to the anesthesia? She never told me she was supposed to have twins. Maybe she didn’t want me to know. She isn’t going to be happy to hear from me. I’ve been a big disappointment to her. If I’m well enough to call her, I will. Otherwise, you can call and ask her.”

“Yes, give me her number. I’ll call her. This may be the information we desperately need to know.”

“I still don’t understand why, but I hope she gives you an honest answer. She totally disagrees with my surgery and probably doesn’t want to speak to me anyway. Do you have your phone? I’ll give you her number now.”

“Thank you, Aidan. I’m going to go call her right now. Get some more rest because I know this conversation has caused you more trauma. I’ll let you know what your mother said and what Dr. Anderson has been able to conclude caused your near-death reaction.”

*******

“Aidan, it’s been three days since I spoke to your mother. She started crying when I asked her if she was told she was having twins while pregnant with you. You were a twin with a sister who died at some point during the first trimester. She didn’t know until her checkup a couple of weeks after. She apparently miscarried your twin sister or simply reabsorbed the remains since it probably happened early in the first trimester. Armed with this new information, I informed Dr. Anderson. She was right about her initial diagnosis. She ran another test on your DNA — a very specialized test. You did not have the almost deadly reaction to the anesthesia. Your twin sister did.”

“What?”

“It’s called Chimerism. You absorbed, in utero, your dead sister’s DNA. You have two sets of DNAs. You are two individuals inside one body. It was your twin sister’s DNA that was allergic to the anesthesia and caused you to suffer the malignant hyperthermia.”

“Again, please tell me this is a joke, Dr. J.”

“No, I know you want it to be, but it’s not. What all this actually means explains definitively everything you are and feel. You are both male and female, but your twin sister’s DNA is dominant. Your brain is correctly transmitting the genetic anomaly that you are a female, dominantly and a male, recessively.”

“So, I can never have the gender reassignment surgery?”

“I would never do it, and I hope you won’t seek out someone less qualified because I don’t want you to die. I want you to live the life you want. You know who you are and that’s all that matters. Enjoy your life with your sister because she is still inside you and you can do this for and with her even with your unwanted accoutrement.”

Aidan started giggling at Dr. J’s use of the word accoutrement referring to his penis. Then, they both burst out wildly laughing.

“You’re right, Dr. J. When can I get the hell out of here so me and my sister can get on with our lives?”

“Is today soon enough, Aidan?”

Aidan immediately got out of bed. Even though he was still weak, he grabbed his clothes out of the hospital room closet and took them into the bathroom to change. Aidan’s excitement to go for his dream seemed to override his pain and weakness. “Ready, when you are, Dr. J; but, damn, I’m going to need some pain medication!”

“It’s already been ordered. It will be with you on your way out of here in a wheelchair. Your nurse is getting everything ready for you, including the ambulance ride back to your apartment per hospital code to be sure you get there safely and in your bed. We’re also ordering a home healthcare nurse for a couple of weeks. Your nurse also called your older sister, Chloe, to see if she could help for a week or two, but she’s in Los Angeles and can’t make it, obviously. I had no idea your older sister was an actress. She did offer to pay for any care that wasn’t covered by insurance. She really loves you, you know? Are you good with all these arrangements?”

“A limousine would be better, Dr. J!”

********

At $60,000/year for four years, Parson’s School of Design and the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT) in New York is incredibly expensive, but Aidan had already applied and been approved for a FAFSA scholarship and was accepted before his gender reassignment surgery was scheduled. Now, everything had changed except his gender.

Aidan excelled at Parson’s and his designs were quickly noticed and lauded by top designers like Donatella Versace, Christian Louboutin, and Yves St. Laurent. Aidan's whimsical approach to some designs caught the attention of Betsey Johnson and she not only became a big fan, but a best friend to Aidan. Every one of them offered Aidan a design studio within their design house. He had that phenomenal versatility and design aesthetic to be able to catch the attention of all those spectacular fashion designers.

The monetary aspect was unimaginable and so tempting to Aidan but deciding which design house to choose was a challenge. Not only was he going to finally live his dream, but he would no longer need to study at Parsons. It was abundantly clear, Aidan was exactly who and what he was meant to be — a man and a woman, as well as the top-rising, superstar fashion designer.

Aidan, being the determined person he has always been, turned down all the offers and set up his own design house in his tiny New York apartment in the garment district. With Betsey’s financial and emotional support, Aidan wanted to become a self-made icon like those he much admired. He named his studio Ada — that’s all, just Ada for his chimera sister because the name Ada means adornment in Hebrew. It was perfect because his twin sister was, in fact, his most precious adornment. If Coco Chanel can use only one name, so can he. After all, Ada means adornment and that speaks volumes and was backed up by the mind-blowing designs Aidan produced and kept topping himself with every day. Each new design, from fabric choices to heralding in new and unique design elements, along with strict attention to detail, became impeccable and stare-worthy masterpieces for the fashion-design world.

Aidan’s first runway show during fashion week, he named Riddle (Chimera Couture), was a jaw-dropping success. Every designer from student to the most coveted design houses were drooling over each walk on the runway. Not one bad review from anybody was given and he quickly grew a cult-like following, always anxious to experience his next collection.

Less than one year later, Ada and Aidan were on Fifth Avenue and exactly what celebrities and fashionistas were wearing or demanding to wear. He was finally where he always wanted to be as both a male and female fashion designer.

*******

During a recent top fashion magazine interview, Aidan was asked about the secret to his success. His answer was in the form of a riddle since Riddle (Chimera Couture), is the name of his current collection, which is winning every fashion design award and is being praised as his classiest couture collection to date.

“My secret lives inside me and will always be beside me until the day I die. Then, and only then, it will die with me.”