Change Begins Within

To change your life, you don’t need to change everything—just your small habits and mindset. The way you think shapes who you become. As a wise man once said, “मन के हारे हार है, मन के जीते जीत है”—meaning, victory or defeat begins in the mind. If you believe you can win, you will; if you believe you can't, you won't.

Real transformation starts from within. Adjust your mindset. Distance yourself from those who ignore you, and invest your energy in those who genuinely want to stay connected.

Human psychology often drives us to chase people who don’t value us, while neglecting those who truly care. But the truth is, someone is always out there for you—be it a friend, a sibling, a family member, or a partner. You are never as alone as you think.

This belief was reinforced for me while reading 'The Art of Being Alone' by Renuka Gavrani. In it, the author recounts her experiences of changing schools frequently, which led her to grow up without any close school friends. In university, she formed a deep friendship with one person, but eventually lost that connection. Later, she met someone who proved to be a true friend. Ironically, when she wasn’t invited to social events, it hurt her, but once she gained recognition, the same people began inviting her. By then, she no longer felt the need to attend or engage with them. The lesson is simple yet powerful: instead of chasing people, she chose to focus on herself, and that made all the difference. We should do the same.

I graduated this year from university, and as I look back, I realize I don't have a single person I can truly call a friend. I had a few close ones, but over time, we drifted apart. Luisha was the first friend I made at university. We were close, but I guess I was too easy to let go. She chose others over me and eventually got married and moved abroad during our fourth semester.

After her, I grew close to two other friends, Sijal and Shirisha. I’m not even sure if they now truly consider me their friend. In our final year, Shirisha received an opportunity to study abroad and left college. Although we stayed in touch, things changed. On my last birthday, August 1, both Shirisha and Sijal gave me gifts, but I didn’t spend time with Sijal. She misunderstood my intentions and thought she didn’t matter to me. The truth is, I cherished both of them deeply. After that misunderstanding, our friendship never returned to normal. She began to distance herself.

Recently, Shirisha returned to Nepal and met up with Sijal and our other college friends, but not me. That really hurt. It made me feel like I was completely alone. But then I remembered—I wasn’t. My childhood best friend, who has always stood by me, was there. And an online friend of mine, someone I’ve known for six years, was there too.

Looking back, the memories I shared with Sijal and Shirisha were truly beautiful. I believe they loved me, not just as a friend, but perhaps like a little sister. They did so much for me, and I’ll always be grateful. Letting go of those bonds has been hard, precisely because they meant so much. But maybe that's the beauty of it—something so meaningful is never easy to let go of. Still, sometimes, we must.

I always hate to say goodbye to someone close. But Winnie Pooh once said, "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard".

So here I am, holding onto gratitude, letting go of the pain, and embracing the belief that true, lasting change starts from within.