Challenging Perception

Challenging Perception

By: Sehra Dylan Nikol

Tension had been building between me and Sandy for a while now. The tension became so thick that you could cut it with a knife. This wasn’t our first fight, and it won’t be our last, but I had had enough. I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“I can’t believe you!” I said, slamming the door as I stepped inside the house we called home. Although it didn’t feel like that anymore.

“It’s not my fault that you got the schedule mixed up.” Sandy said, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders as if to say ‘So What?’.

“But that’s the thing. I didn’t. You did and instead of talking to me about it, you reversed all of my nightmares and gave everyone dreams.” I sat down on the bench that was right next to the door in order to take off my shoes. Black Doc Martens. The simple act of untying the shoelaces allowed me to recenter my focus, calm me down, and allow me to think more rationally. I sighed before I said, “We’ve talked about this. There’s a balance; people's perception of the world has to be balanced.” I could tell that he wasn’t paying any attention to what I was saying, so I headed upstairs to get some rest. But this is how it always was. Sandy never paid any regard for how his actions would affect me. It absolutely infuriated me that he doesn’t seem to care. The only thing that’s worse is that our parents don’t seem to care either.

I’m always painted as the villain, or a complete and utter outcast. Please listen to my side of the story, and maybe it’ll challenge your perception. There are two sides to every story, and this is mine.

See, the thing with my family is… my mother is Mother Nature, yes THE Mother Nature and my father is… Father Time. So if you connect the dots, all of the legendary figures are my siblings. Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny (spoiler alert, he isn’t actually a bunny), Jack Frost, Cupid, and you already know about my brother, Sandman. And that would make me… You guessed it. I’m the Bogeyman, but I prefer to go by B.

I woke up just after sunrise came and went, and we (me and all of my siblings) were called to an emergency family meeting. I begrudgingly got out of bed and got dressed. I was not looking forward to this at all, but I couldn’t keep prolonging the inevitable. I stalled long enough and had to drag myself downstairs, and walked straight into the dining room where my family was waiting for me. I slouched in my chair with my head in my hands. I know that this meeting is going to be about what happened last night between me and Sandy. I sat up in my chair as Mother audibly clapped her hands to get our attention.

“I think we all know why we’re here.” Mother said in a gentle but firm voice as she made direct eye contact with me. I couldn’t meet her gaze and forced myself to look at the floor.

“B, Sandy, will you please tell us your sides of this story, so we can get to the bottom of this.” Sandy was about to speak up when she held up one finger to silence him. Well that's a new one. “I want to hear from B first.”

I sighed and stood up. “Sandy isn’t following the schedule of who receives dreams and who receives nightmares. He got it mixed up, and he reversed all of my nightmares and gave everyone dreams instead of double checking with me first.” I looked around the room for support but I was only met with judgmental faces. I sat down when Sandy stood up.

“What can I say? Mistakes happen. B didn’t have to lash out at me like that.”

I felt my jaw drop. He just completely dismissed me, when I calmed down and wanted to talk to him about what had happened last night.

Mom and Dad shared a look, having a silent conversation using just their eyes. They both nodded in agreement. And Dad spoke this time.

“Sandy is absolutely right. You shouldn’t have lashed out at him. Now apologize to your brother,” he said in a calm, gentle voice that I normally found very comforting. Only right now it was agonizingly vexing.

I felt so defeated. My mouth fell open once again. Me? Apologize to him!? I can’t believe this. They took his side. AGAIN. Why do they always take his side? Why wasn’t I good enough?! Just once, I’d like for them to take my side. Just once! What’s wrong with me!? Why am I always placed second?! Not even second, more like last. I couldn’t take this mental agony so I snapped and screamed at the top of my lungs, “That’s it!” I stood up, slamming my fists on the table, causing my chair to fall over, and trying, but failing, not to cry. “I can’t take it anymore. Why am I even here?!” I wiped the tears from my eyes as I pulled on my black Doc Martens, snapped my fingers, and poof! I was gone.

It wasn’t long before I couldn’t stand on my own. A month. That’s all it took before I was too weak to stand on my own two feet. I had to lean on walls in order to keep going. The longer I was away from home, the more ghostly I felt as my presence began to fade away. Stumbling around in the shadows, I remember when I faltered and fell, but I somehow managed to catch myself on a windowsill of someone’s house. I gripped onto the windowsill tightly so that I could steady myself. I was about to leave when I heard a voice coming from inside the house. They couldn’t see me. No human could. Unless we allowed ourselves to be seen.

“Mommy, I don’t want to go to bed.” A young girl, her tone lacking enthusiasm. Her voice sounded so melancholy with disdain when she said, “It’s always the same… I don’t enjoy them anymore. And dreams were always the best part about going to bed.”

“I know that your dreams aren’t what they used to be. Who knows? Maybe the Bogeyman will visit you in your sleep instead of the Sandman. Come on sweetie, let’s get you settled in for the night.” An older woman, presumably the young girl's mother, said, trying to convey feelings of hope.

I watched from the window as they went to that young woman's bedroom to get her settled in for the night. I thought that everyone was better off without me. I thought that maybe Sandy was right, that everyone wanted to be happy. I felt so heartbroken seeing that young girl so lost and hopeless. Was I really helping them? Or was I hurting them? I thought that I was only hurting myself.

I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. More than anything, I wanted to reach out to that young girl, and do whatever I could to make her feel better. How could I continue to hurt them? I have to make this right.

I took a deep breath and mustered up the rest of my strength. I snapped my fingers and poof! I was in the young girl's bedroom. I sat down on the bed next to her. I touched her shoulder to obtain some of her essence. Creating a nightmare for younger humans was simpler than creating a nightmare for adult humans. It requires less manipulation of the essence. I held her essence in my hands. I closed my eyes and channeled the surrounding shadows. When I opened my eyes, her essence was manipulated just enough so that she would receive a small nightmare. I placed my open palm on her forehead, gently easing the nightmare into her mind. She tensed up. But only for a second. After that brief second, she became relaxed. I felt a little bit of strength return. Just enough so that I could find my brother. I slowly stood up. I stared off into the distance, in order to hone in on Sandy and I’s connection. A by-product of the both of us having to feed off of the energy that sleeping humans give off while experiencing a dream or a nightmare. I’ve hated our connection for as long as I could remember, but right now? That didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was finding him. A sudden rush of strength took over my body and shook my senses back into reality. I knew where he was.

He was in someone’s apartment, about to give them a dream. I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes, drawing the last drops of strength I could harness into my being. I raked my pale, slender fingers through my dark, jet black hair flecked with silver, that stood opposite of my brother’s golden strands that were seemingly full of life and light. I had to stop hesitating. I snapped both of my middle fingers against my palms as I brought my hands down to my sides. The sound echoed for a moment and then poof! I was gone.

I appeared in the apartment as my shadows enveloped the bright light that my brother carried within him.

I locked eyes with Sandy in complete desperation. I had to stop him. I had to fix this. I couldn’t let this continue. Not after I saw what had happened to that young girl.

“You have to let me give them a nightmare.”

“No, I don’t. Dreams make people happy. And people always want to be happy.”

I was about to speak when the person who was asleep on the couch across from us woke up.

My brother and I locked eyes in shock.

The man got up and rubbed his eyes. He looked at the two of us for what felt like an eternity before he finally said “You must be the Bogeyman and that would make you the Sandman.” Gesturing to the both of us before he ruffled his wicked cobalt blue hair that was shaved on the sides but remained voluminous on top and hung slightly in his eyes before finishing with “I knew it! I knew that Legendary Figures were real.” He let out a sigh riddled with confusion that ended with a sigh. His forehead was sweating, and he wiped it off with the back of his hand. After that, he chewed on his thumbnail, unsure of what to do or say next.

Without allowing the man time to process what was going on around him, Sandy spoke up, blatantly ignoring the anxiety and distress that was written all over the man’s face.

“We need you to settle something for us. You’ve only been having dreams for the last what? Month-ish? You decide… your options are to have a dream and keep being happy or to have a nightmare and become filled with such pure horror and gripping paranoia whenever you see your own shadow?”

He looked at Sandy, and then took a step towards me, meeting my gaze silently pleading. I knew what his decision was before he could even say a word, but I wanted Sandy to hear it, too.

“Please give me a nightmare. Please, I’m sick of dreams. I want to feel something other than happy for once. And if it causes me to become filled with pure horror and gripping paranoia whenever I see my own shadow, then so be it. I don’t care. Just please give me a nightmare.” He grasped my hands in his. His hands were shaking so badly that he lost his grip on mine more than a few times. I had hoped that he would be on my side, but for him to so willingly look past the unwelcoming appearance my body held, and still hold my hands so desperately like he had? I didn’t know that my actions would have much deeper and darker consequences than I originally had anticipated. I felt a twinge of pain in my chest, the same pain I felt for that young girl. I couldn’t leave him like this.

I tried to conceal my feelings of guilt, as I said “Okay.” As soon as I said that one simple word, the man’s dull eyes lit up with relief and a renewed sense of hope. He let go of my hands and laid back down on the couch. I sat down on the opposite end of the couch. “You’ll have to close your eyes, take a couple of slow deep breaths, and then you’ll start to fall asleep, but you won’t be completely out of it. When I give you a nightmare, your natural response is going to be to fight it, but you’re going to have to ignore that instinct. Let the nightmare enter your mind and play through.”

He nodded as he said, “Thank you… for giving me a nightmare. My name is Belvue by the way.”

As I stood up, I gave him a slight smile. “Always.”

He closed his eyes, and his breathing began to slow as he entered into a deep sleep. I touched his shoulder, in order to obtain some of his essence, which will allow me to give him a nightmare.

I opened my hand and there his essence was. I threw it into midair and then..

I twisted my fingers into my palm with my thumb on top. And then, I used the shadows to pull his essence to me. Once I held it in my palm again, I took a deep breath. I had to brush his hair aside before I slowly began to push his essence into his mind.

He tossed and turned. I knew that he was trying to fight it, but it looked like he was more so fighting himself. He was actually listening to me? No one ever listens to me. The tossing and turning ceased, and I felt it. A rush of energy, which meant that the nightmare had entered his mind. I breathed a sigh of relief.

My strength was coming back. If you thought that giving people nightmares was easy, you’d be dead wrong. I don’t enjoy giving people nightmares. But I have to. Not only is it physically taxing, but the mental and emotional toll that it takes on me? It causes me to go to a dark place in my own mind. A place that I don’t like to be, that I have no control over.

My brother and I went our separate ways. Once the sun had started to rise, we made our way home. If I could even call it that.

The silence between my brother and I was deafening. Not a word was spoken as I opened the door and we went inside. After I closed the door, I sat down on the bench. I became lost in my thoughts.

Sandy wouldn’t meet my gaze. He appeared to be lost in his thoughts, too. Was he angry about what happened with Belvue? Should I ask him what’s going on? I didn’t want him to shrug me off like he always does. He sat beside me to take his shoes off. Now I know that something is wrong. He doesn’t like being around me. So why would he sit next to me?

He slipped off his white Vans, and he locked eyes with me. He looked so defeated as he said, “You were right. And I’m sorry.”

I didn’t know how to react. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Before I could even open my mouth to respond, he hugged me. I hugged him back. Our hug only lasted a moment before he pulled away, sighed, and ruffled his hair with his hand.

After that he stood up and said “I’m gonna go to bed. Um.. sleep well?”

I smiled. It felt so unnatural. I haven’t had a genuine smile on my face for… I can’t even remember the last time. “Thanks. You too.”

～～

I woke up the next day with my sense of self restored. I finally felt the way that I’ve always wanted. I feel like things between me, my brother, and our parents may finally have a chance to change for the better and stay that way.

I got out of bed and pulled on a pair of high-waisted dark wash denim and ripped jeans. I threw on my favorite T-shirt, which, ironically enough, was white, and it had a bright yellow smiley face on it. It was my favorite shirt because Sandy gave it to me a long time ago. I haven’t worn it since things between the two of us took a turn for the worst. The last thing I did was put on a pair of long, thick, heathered gray socks. I smiled at my reflection before I left my room and went downstairs.

I walked towards the dining room where my family was waiting for me. I expected the worst. To be yelled at for being gone for so long, almost dying, and preventing Sandy from doling out more dreams that made everyone happy. I hesitated before I stepped into the room. I was met with acceptance instead of judgement. I sat down in the same chair as last time. Sandy was the first to speak.

“This was all my fault.” He paused, putting his head in his hands for a brief second, before continuing, “I’ve convinced all of you that Bogeyman was the villain, an outcast, the second choice. When in reality, he was right, there is a balance. And I tipped the balance in favor of myself, believing that everyone wanted to always be happy. But that is so far from the truth. Now I understand that I was the toxic one. Not him.” He came over to me and pulled me to my feet. We had a silent conversation with just our eyes before he finally said, “I know that I don’t deserve it, but can you please forgive me?”

I gave him a sly smile and said, “I forgive you.”

We may not have always seen eye to eye, but he was still my brother. Things weren’t perfect. Far from it, but they were getting better. And that’s all that matters.

Before I knew it, it was time to deliver nightmares and dreams to the world. Everyone said their goodnights as I pulled on my black Doc Martens and Sandy pulled on his white Vans. We stepped outside our house that I finally felt I could call home and it was then that I noticed something.

“You’re wearing the T-shirt I gave you.” I said, looking at Sandy’s T-shirt. It was almost identical to mine, except his was black, and instead of a yellow happy face, it had a purple upside down happy face. We got them for each other when we started developing our connection.

He chuckled as he said, “It’s my favorite T-shirt.”

～～

I’m always seen as the villain, an outcast, because I inspire fear, but I only ever truly wanted everyone to be happy. My nightmares allow people to cherish their good dreams. Which is all I ever wanted.

The End.