Celebration of Life

A little boy died at the age of 9 and a young woman at 19. Both of these babies came from the same family, and both of these babies are grieved by many of the same people. One little boy passed in a car accident and one young woman who passed when she was hit by a train. Every year passes without them there through the holidays, their birthdays, special events, and of course their death-day. Every year we remember when they die because the event is etched into our souls. Every year we try to keep living without grief taking complete control. These two children from the same family who died 10 years apart never to be forgotten.

The first year a mother in grief trying to grasp at some semblance of peace and love, and not the heartache and grief during the first death of the 9-year-old boy. Everyone deep in grief, yet the mother knew that she had four other children that needed her love and guidance. All of them wanting to remain in the grief that was the death of their sibling and son. All of them always remembering the day of death. A mother trying to always change that. She reaches and strives to make everyone around her celebrate their life instead of remembering their death. For years to never end this tug of war would go on.

The first year of the death of the young boy, a mother and father guided their children up a mountain side overlooking where they lived in Oregon. They hiked straight up the mountain side with a little laughter from the children and a red-nosed Pit by their side. The first time for the little boy’s dog to be off of his leash. The first-time going hiking since the little boy left them. The first time trying to do what the mother and father were going to do to celebrate the little boy. The mom carried balloons in one hand as they hiked up to the top of the mountain. The mother, happily looking at her children smiling, happily watching her puppy learning to be free with them by his side, happily watching her husband enjoying the time they were spending together. So few smiles and laughter that last year that this was so nice. The sun was bright as they climbed up the mountain and the wind was making her hair tickle her neck. She kept looking up to the sky, wishing her little boy to see that they were happy for him, willing him to see that they were celebrating his life.

Once at the top of the mountain the whole family and puppy stood at the edge holding hands and looking over the mountain side. Mother handing out a balloon to each child, 2 boys and 2 two girls. Mother guiding their next actions that would celebrate that little boy’s name that is now in heaven. They were told to each release their balloons on the count of 5 and they all did. They each watched as the balloons floated higher and higher into the sky. Soon the balloons were little specks in the sky, and they were each telling each other what they loved so much about this little boy.

Next year at his birthday it is a beautiful and sunny day at a lake. The family of four went for a hike with bubbles in their pockets. They had bubbles in their pockets so they could find the perfect spot to celebrate the on his birthday that year. The water was so blue, and the trail was perfectly grounded to be able to jump and play around as they walked. Again with a dog that was the boys’ puppy in tow, excited to be exploring the world. All four kids hopping around to find ‘THE’ spot for this new ritual that has been placed in a broken family that was trying to fix themselves. Mom and dad walk hand-in-hand occasionally, with mom enjoying the sun on her face (mom always enjoys the sun on her face), dad enjoying looking at his children and fiancé skipping and laughing along the walk. Walking to water holes exploring and going over bridges and streams.

They finally, after about 30 minutes of walking came to a dock that had shallow water by it and then it got deeper. The kids and mom jumped in to catch the newts that were swimming all around the shallow area right next to the dock. The dad taking pictures from on top of the dock looking down at the play. The water was shimmering from the sun shining down reflecting its grace and beauty. At this point, the kids decide and a happy mama, that the spot they are at is the perfect spot to celebrate the little boy and his life. They all climb onto the deck with their dad still taking photos and grab the bubbles that went from their pockets to the deck once they got in the water. Each child and parent picked up the bubbles and one-by-one they each said what they loved about this little boy forever 9 years old and blew bubbles. After they jumped back in the water to play some more and finished hiking before heading home.

A third year passed on the little boy's birthday and another year of a planned celebration. Mom the night before had taken her time to take roses and one-by-one take the rose petals off of each red, pink, and white roses. Again they went to the same lake to take a hike in the opposite direction on a colder day with some ice around the lakes' trailhead. This year they all went later in the year, but again kids, mom, dad, and pup were happy to be out hiking the trail. This year they did not say anything they loved about the little boy in heaven, but they walked talking about everything they missed about him. Each of the 4 children and mom and dad had a little baggie filled with rose petals and as they walked, they would throw the petals in spots they liked in memory of the boy. On the way home they talked about all the things that the boy would be doing or that he would have liked to do. They conversed about who the little boy was and how much they loved in missed him.

Ten years have gone by, and it is the first year that the mother and father's 19-year-old daughter passed away and they have a plan in line for a celebration. The mother has her children, her eldest son's girlfriend, her best friend, and her best friends’ children go down to the river near their home. When they first arrived, they got under a huge tree out of the sun to take pictures of everyone that attended, smiled, and laughed together. The sun kept peeking through the tree and a slight breeze in the air reminding the mother her daughter was with her and watching her. They all climbed in the water together up to their thighs and everyone created a circle. The mother felt her daughter was there in the middle watching her family and smiling on them. The father gets out mom's phone to record this memory through video. Everyone listens intently as the mother reads a poem that the mother wrote for her little girl now in heaven. Later they would watch the video during the poem and realize there was an orb following each in every person in the circle that they would say was Annabelle, making her presence known. The mother while telling the poem cried and laughed about all the things that were her daughter. Some of the others attending even spoke up to talk and remember Annabelle and in what the mother wrote. The mother while reading had a smile on her face but at moments was crying so intensely that she could not see through her tears and had to stop. At the end of the poem everyone was given a chance to say something if they wanted to about the little girl or about the young woman they had loved and known. A celebration of her life and not a representation of her death.

Every year a mother chooses to love and remember her daughter 19 and son 9 in the good times and chooses not to try to remember their death. A dad helps her to plan and execute those plans to celebrate. Even when the siblings try to remind the mother that it is the death day she chooses to look beyond at their birthdays. The mom chooses to always remember the joy of her daughter and son being alive. The mom chooses to not be in grief over their death day but respond internally of pure love of her children's lives. Every year she tries with all her might to show her children the same and her husband help her to do the same. Even when her children remind her of the death day, she responds with things that she loved about their sister or brother. She already knows that grief is already too great that it does not need any more attention to survive and chooses to be uplifting in her passed children's presence. Even writing this the mother cried good tears over her children and cried in grief over her loss with a little smile on her lips.

In Loving Memory of TJ Michael Tesch age 9 born September 24, 2003, and Annabelle Marie Tesch age 19 born August 28, 2001