Caught

I thought that I had found everything that I wanted when I first met Alex five years ago. I had already gone through a bad break-up a year before I met him, and I'd had a string of heartaches a few years before that.

I had no idea what a healthy relationship looked like before I met Alex. Alex had been the only one who had ever shown me kindness, honesty, and love. He had always remained faithful and he was respectful of the law.

We didn't have a lot of money, but we both had great jobs that at least brought in a sustainable income or so I thought until a week ago. I had been doing my regular weekly round of checking our joint bank account which was usually healthy. We always had at least $500 at the end of the month after bills, and I'd normally keep $200 for the household and put the rest in savings for the future.

Tonight, I got a shock. The bank account was at $0.00, and I had no idea why.

My suspicions started a week ago when money started disappearing with no known cause. I had asked Alex about it, because the $500 we usually had left, suddenly started dropping to $100. He said he had been transferring more to a secret account in order to save for a house.

I was a fool for believing him. Why would he transfer money to a secret account without telling me? Where was it all going? How did he think we were going to pay the bills out of $100?

I couldn't work it out, until that fateful night on Monday...

I had been for a night out with friends, and I came home at midnight just as I said that I would. What I saw horrified me,

The drug squad was on my door, and they wouldn't let me in.

I asked them if I could go to the toilet, but they said not until the sniffer dogs had done their job in the house. I had to wait three hours in the cold while they finished their raid. Shaking and terrified I asked them,

"What is going on?"

They refused to answer me. Instead, they asked me if I had seen Alex. I told them that I thought he would be in bed by now, and asked them what they wanted him for.

"Alex is wanted for questioning over multiple drug possession and trafficking. He ran when he saw us pull up. Are you his wife?" The leader asked me.

"Girlfriend!" I replied.

"I haven't seen Alex. I started work at 7:30 this morning, and I got home at 6:30 this evening. I changed, and by 8:30 this evening, I was dancing in a club with friends until 11 P.M. I then called a cab to get me home by midnight."

I was seething with Alex, but I was too heartbroken and empty to be able to let my anger show.

"Mrs. Leigh; we need to take you to the station for questioning.

"GIRLFRIEND!" I snapped angrily.

I went to the station for questioning. They asked how long I had known Alex, how long we had been together, and whether I knew of any crime he had committed in the past.

I answered no to all questions.

I told them about the incident with my bank account. It turned out that Alex had been saving the money to pay a team of other dealers and traffickers who worked with him.

He was wanted for a string of sex offenses, burglaries, drug dealing, trafficking, and robbery.

I then found out that some of the sex offenses involved underage girls.

I froze and my eyes welled. My mouth opened and my cheeks burned with tears. I couldn't speak.

I left the station, and I was advised to call if I made contact with him.

"How does one hand in her own partner, after so many years of trust and togetherness?"

I felt sick to my stomach, and the frustration and empty angry feelings only made the feeling worse.

I decided to head home with my friend Susan. I wasn't going to stay there tonight; I had opted to sleep at Susan's, but I needed to get some belongings.

When I got there, Alex was sitting on the doorstep in tears.

"I'm so sorry Carla. I love you. You are my world. I never meant to hurt you like this." Alex told me.

"Move, or I'll call the police," Susan shouted at him.

Alex went silent and moved.

When we entered the house, we locked the door behind us. We were sweating with fear. We knew that Alex could turn on us at any time. We had to go upstairs for some things, so we took the phone with us.

"What the fuck do I do?" I asked Susan, crying and shaking.

"I know it's hard, but you have to call the police," Susan told me firmly.

"I still love him. This is bullshit! He wouldn't do those things," I snapped.

There was a loud thumping on the door downstairs.

"If you bitches call the police, I'll kill you," Alex shouted through the letterbox.

A few loud smashes followed. Alex had thrown bricks through the window, and now he was proceeding to kick the door down.

I and Susan sat on the bed shaking, breathless, and crying.

"Oh fuck, Oh fuck! What do I do?" I asked again. I had never felt so scared, but I still did not want to call the police because I still loved him.

"Carla! We HAVE TO DO IT NOW!" Susan shouted, holding the phone in her hand and proceeding to dial.

I knew that she was right, but I screamed at her and tried to get the phone from her.

"He will kill us if we don't!" Susan told me, holding me as I broke down in uncontrollable sobs.

Alex was still banging on the door. He was also kicking it furiously.

"I will boot it down if you call the police. I swear!" he shouted.

"Do it," I told Susan, quietly.

Those words cut like a knife, but I knew we needed to get out of here. I had only seen Alex's sweet side in all the time I had known him.

How was I to know he was a criminal?

He had hidden it well over the years that we were together. He had always made sure I was looked after, and that we had everything we needed until now.

I felt stupid and guilty in one go. Stupid for not knowing, and guilty for having called the police. However, I wasn't going to be a victim, no matter how bad I felt. I didn't deserve that.

The noise and shouting suddenly stopped, and there were sirens outside. We were terrified to come downstairs. Luckily Susan had told the police where we were, and one had entered the house and come upstairs to get us.

"Don't hurt me! don't hurt me! I didn't know what to do," I cried while trembling from head to foot.

"We're not going to hurt you. We are here to get you safely out of this house," the female officer told me.

I was freezing. It was like all my senses had been dulled, and my mind had completely switched off.

I couldn't process what was happening, nor could I accept that I as well as the other victims had been a victim of Alex's abuse.

I cried and then threw up.

Alex was arrested and awaiting a very lengthy sentencing.

I and Susan had been moved to a place of safety, but after two years of working hard; we bought a place together, where we could be happy.

Today, I still feel guilt and pain over what Alex had done. He was also charged with financial abuse along with all the other offenses he had committed.

I broke contact, and broke the relationship off, permanently. It will be many years before I can trust again if I ever do.

However, at least I can say I did the right thing, even if the pain and guilt come back.

Today, I am having counseling, though I have a new job and a new life with Susan now.

I might be in pain now, but it won't be as long a sentence as Alex's.