Castles in the Sky

I remember the sparkle in those green eyes, the day we met. I recall the flash of her red hair in the sun and the way the freckles danced on her cheeks when she laughed. And that laugh – pure music. I learned what “lilting” meant that day.

It was the first of many days we'd spend together, and the memories are burned into my being. Long walks in the summer rain. Lying side by side in the grass, spotting castles in the clouds. Lip gloss that left me with an addiction to strawberries. A shape that molded perfectly to mine. The softness of the fingers that stilled the trembling in mine, fumbling like a schoolboy's with the buttons of her blouse.

We blended easily, naturally, and yet I couldn't help but wonder, “Why me?” She was too beautiful. Everywhere we went, every eye was on her, and I could read the same question there. I was too afraid to ask it aloud. Afraid she'd realize how far out of my league she was.

If she realized my fears, she never let on. There was never the slightest hint in those emerald pools, though something else was always there, just beneath the surface. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

Would it have been better to know? I know the answer now and I know why she held back. Maybe, in an odd way, I know the answer to the question of “Why me?” too. Maybe she'd had too many relationships laden with the egos of would-be captors. Maybe it was refreshing to be discovered, rather than displayed. There are a thousand “maybes” and not a single one matters.

Better to know? The answer to the question is “No.” Knowing that our days together were numbered would only have added desperation to the flood of emotion, and she knew it would cloud what we had. We both gave everything we had, for all the time we had and because she held back, we did so under clear, blue skies.

The signs would come, eventually. Less spring in her step. Falling asleep with her head on my chest as we watched the clouds. The pain she fought began to win. Through it all, her incredible green eyes shone when they met mine, even through the tears that came the day she finally told me.

It was incurable, it was terminal and her time was running out. She had chosen to leave on her own terms. Any argument was pointless; she had already chosen and enacted a painless plan. It would be over soon and she wanted only to be there with me, watching the clouds.

That's exactly how it ended, after she'd made me promise to go on without her and to be with her family, to help them understand. We would see each other again she said, one summer day, above those castles in the sky.

I believe we will, so I go on. I've lived up to my promise and was surprised to find no hint of resentment from her family. They understood her well and knew much more than I expected about me and the relationship we'd had.

It's been a long time ago now, but I know I'll never be the same without her. She was like a shot of espresso. Warm, sweet and gone too soon.

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Sadly, I missed L.C's last Dollar Challenge, so I'm getting my entry in for this one early. You can learn more about it and enter your own creation using the link below: