By My Side

I did not want to go. I most certainly didn’t want to go. It was the end of high school and the time to graduate. What makes the year for graduates? Prom. Everyone’s perfect day with the perfect dress or suit. The perfect date. What does it even matter? It doesn’t. It gets paraded about for a good money grab from people and I wasn’t going to fall for it. At least that was the plan. Coming into school that day changed everything.

I arrived at school and it was the day before prom. I can hear them all talking in the hallway about the party boat the school rented out this year.

“Hey Victor,” I hear my friend Jimmy call out to me at the end of the hallway. A shorter, chubby kid with brown curls. He was my best friend. We have known each other since I was in the first grade. He grabbed my arm. The biggest grin on his face. “So prom is coming up. Did you know it's going to be on a boat? Like a big boat. One of those cruise ships. Maybe not as big but still. You have to be going right? Oh please say you’re going to go with me??”

“I… wasn’t going to. You know crowds aren’t my thing. All the loud music and dancing. It’s a bit overwhelming,” My hand rubbed the back of my neck.

“I know but you know how cool this is? When are we going to have another chance of being on a boat? Probably very unlikely and well…. I already bought us the tickets. I can’t return them now and let them go to waste. Pretty please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?”

“Okay fine. But you’re not allowed to leave my side. At all. Okay? I don’t want to be alone. If I get stressed my-”

“Anxiety will go up and you’ll have a panic attack. Yeah, I know that already. So, I promise. I won’t leave your side.”

With that, I gave a heavy breath, moving my hand up into my black, curly hair. It was more curly than Jimmy’s with a cowlick that wouldn’t go down. “But why aren't you going to choose a girl to go with you?”

“Oh, I’m not interested in dating. That’s about it. It’s not my thing. Besides, it's way more fun to go with a friend?” He smiled back at me. I looked down at him with wary green eyes.

Later that day, Jimmy dragged me out to the mall. He made me try on every suit he laid his eyes on. I eventually just chose a simple black tuxedo. Jimmy on the other hand chose a pale blue suit with ruffles going down the collar of the blouse. It made him look like he could play piano.

After the suits were picked out, Jimmy let me sleep over at his place. Jimmy let me play some of the video games he had, but I was not very good at them. However, it made time pass that’s for sure. By morning, it was the day of the prom.

—

The boat was on a lake just a bit from the city. It was coming to dawn as the party was set to be very late. It was packed with what felt like a hundred people. Everyone dressed up in glitter, bright colors, and flowers. It was a bit overwhelming right off the bat. Loud music plays in the background.

“I should have stayed home,” That left my lips before I could even process what I said. Jimmy spoke back to me.

“No, no, you’re doing good Mr. Anti-social. You made it this far and that makes me very proud of you. Here, how about you and I find a nice corner and people-watch for a bit? I mean you won't be in the crowd just peering into it. Come on.” He took my slender hand into his stubby hand. It was a little sweaty but I couldn’t tell if that was from me or him. He pulled me to the corner of the boat near the rail. I look down at the water and instantly feel sick so I look back down at him.

“Jimmy. Jimmy. I can’t,” My hand moves to my chest. There it is, the built-up feeling. The people dancing started dancing around me, or so it felt like. Every bit of the boat rocking and swaying.

“Victor?” I hear him but can’t see him, “Hey… buddy? Are you okay?” His voice sounds distant and I fear I might faint. I feel something touch the back of my legs. “Sit..” I listen and do so on command. My bottom touches the chair he had moved over. “Breath.. I need to get you something to drink. Okay? I’ll be right back. Two seconds. Just breathe. I promise I’ll come right back.” He says before I hear his feet fade away.

Jimmy moved over to the food table. People were lined up getting snacks and chatting. He noticed the punch bowl at the end of the table. Three guys stood around it talking to each other. Laughing and hollering at their little jokes as Jimmy moved over. He squeezed his way through them to the punch bowl.

“Oh hey, Jimbo. Do you want a drink? But the food is right there.”

“Careful, he might eat the whole thing.”

“How true, he can’t contain himself around food.”

They let out between each other. Jimmy ignored them but they weren’t done.

“Oh, I get it. You’re here because your boyfriend is panicking, isn’t he? He had three in class the other day. Why did he even come?” One gasped, “Oh did you force him? What a shitty friend you are. Hey, how about you give this to your friend? It’s very hydrating~” One of the boys offered a water bottle to Jimmy. The liquid was purple. “It's like a new hydration drink. It’ll help plenty.”

Jimmy just wanted to leave so he took the bottle and moved back to Victor. His eyes softened. Was he that bad for bringing Victor here? How could he have done that to his friend?

“Hey Victor here, I’m back, just like I promised. Here drink this okay,” The tip of the bottle touched my lips and I drank it back. I almost chugged the whole thing and would have if Jimmy hadn’t taken it away. I coughed moving my hand to my lips.

“What was that? It tastes awful.” It felt like it was burning my throat. “Was that alcohol? How did you even get that?”

“Alcohol?” He sounded just as surprised as me. He didn’t tell me where he got it.

By now my vision was back and my breathing had calmed. But the buzz coming from that bottle was starting. The anxiety melted away. I’ve never been drunk before but it felt like I was flying. I stood up with my grin now, “Dance with me, Jimmy.” I smile, offering him my hand.

He seems pleasantly surprised and accepts my hand as I pull him onto the dancefloor. It felt good. Everything was rocking and swaying but not like before. Song after song we danced. My face flushed red, my feet felt so light. I spun Jimmy around and pulled him close. My lips moved and pressed down against his lips.

The silence became so loud.

We both paused and everyone else paused. The eyes on us. All the eyes. What did I do? What was I doing? My lips are still kissing him. He pushes me back. Our eyes stuck on each other. I felt my eyes sting. My feet moved without thinking and I ran. There weren't many places I could go, but I left him alone on the dance floor. I hide myself on the other side of the boat behind some crates. My hand to my lips. How could I have done that? Jimmy didn’t want to date. He wasn’t into it. I fall to my knees on the surface of the boat. My eyes burned as my breath raced.

Not again.

“Victor?”

I hear Jimmy’s voice calling out for me. I don’t answer, he moves past where I’m hiding. The tears didn't stop and I don't know how much time passed.

Bing

I feel my phone going off in my pocket. I hesitate before taking it out and looking at the message from Jimmy.

‘Hey. It’s okay I promise. The reason I asked you to come with me on this trip was because I like you too. I didn’t think you swung that way. Let’s talk, okay? I promised I wouldn’t leave you alone, right?’

I pause. Jimmy liked me too? I look up from my phone and pull myself together. We’ll talk and everything will be fine. I stood and moved to find Jimmy. I see him with three boys. Unaware they were the same ones that gave Jimmy the water bottle of alcohol. I can’t hear what they’re saying to him. His back pressed against the railing.

“Jimmy!” I called out before everything moved slowly. A hand pressed to Jimmy’s chest and then… push. His body rolls over the railing before vanishing. There was a pause of silence then a splash. I don’t remember moving but my hands were now gripping the railing. Looking down at the water below. I couldn’t see him.

“Jimmy-” My eyes widened. My head spun in circles and before I could think. I leaped over the railing. The wind hit my body. A good five feet before my body crashes into the cold water below. The cold sent a shock throughout my body. The water solidifies above my head as I get encased in the waves. I felt heavy.

Suddenly I move to resurface. I could see the boat moving and people yelling. I didn't care.

“Jimmy!” I cried out over the lake. Moving water aside, like that was possible. I couldn’t find him. He promised he wouldn’t leave me. I couldn’t tell if it was the water or my eyes but my cheeks got soaked and a trail dripped from my chin. “Jimmy!”

“Victor?”

The voice was quiet but with no doubt that was Jimmy. I whip my head around and I see that brown hair. I quickly moved to it. My arms wrap around under his arms and I pull him up. He coughs at the water before looking up at me. My eyes didn't burn anymore. The relief I felt.

“You’re alive- I thought I lost you. I can swim us back to shore and we-”

“You can’t.”

“What? I can. If we go that way-"

“Victor. We can’t.” His eyes look at me and suddenly something feels wrong. I feel wrong.

“Why can’t we?” I asked him.

He points down into the water. “We’re still under there.”

Then I hear the commotion on the boat. Everyone is yelling still and I can finally understand what they're saying. “We can’t see them. They’re under the water. They never came back up."

I pause and I look at him. His smile is soft but sad. He hugs me tightly. “I promised you I wouldn’t leave your side.”

I feel the weight of the water building up and surrounding our bodies. The calling from the boat starts to fade as the water covers my ears. Slowly, the water takes our bodies as its own. He kept his word. He never left my side.