Brisk Time Away

We drove up the snowy, winding road towards the cozy A-frame cabin. I didn’t want to go somewhere colder than home, let alone with my co-workers, but hey, I didn’t want to be single either.

It's been a month since the breakup; I hear she’s painting the town red. Whenever I’ve considered going out, I've checked in with mutual friends to ensure her and I wouldn’t cross paths. Though, I never actually do go out.

So, since New York City isn’t safe, I accepted the offer to spend the weekend in Vermont with three co-workers at a discounted price. This isn’t the first time they’ve asked me to hang out; I usually declined in favor of going out with my girlfriend. In hindsight, drinks would have been easier than signing up for this trip.

“We’re here fellas! Casa de la…. Casa de la…” Barry says, oscillating for an assist.

“Don’t, just don’t, “says Lawrence, palm to face.

“Can we just get inside please? The family jewels are going to turn into white walkers at this rate.” Though I wouldn’t have said it that way, I share John’s sentiment.

Barry’s a husky redhead with a very distinguished beard, he’s been with the company the longest. Lawrence is lithe and wears bifocals. John’s well built, especially for a pencil pusher. We’re the closest in age, and even he’s got years on me.

“You smell that boys?” Barry takes a long sniff then exhale. “No kid, no wife, this is what freedom smells like.”

“Freedom smells an awful lot like a head cold,” Lawrence says.

John and I are the first to enter the cabin, with him busting in and sprawling to the floor.

“Quick Leo, start the fire,” he gasps, clutching his chest. “I’m freezing over. Going to wake up and… kill… you all…”

I hide my smirk in the fireplace, kneeling before it like I know what I’m doing. After the others make it in, Barry kneels next to me.

“I got ya buddy. First you…”

Barry goes through the motions of kindling a fire, in word and deed. He’s the same way at the job: over my shoulder whenever a wrinkle graces my forehead. Very much reminds me of my ex and how she loved to parent me at every turn…

“And voila,” he shouts, as the sparks turn to flames. Seems I’ve drowned out the lecture the same way I do at work.

“Thank the old gods and the new,” John sings, rolling around on the floor.

“Alright-alright, get up,” Lawrence says, kicking him a bit. “First time out with Leo and you’re embarrassing us.”

“If you think that’s embarrassing, wait until John falls asleep; man’s a walrus,” Barry adds, treating us to his full impression of snoring John.

I like a good joke as much as the next guy, but I feel out of place whenever they goof off. Happens at work, happened on the way here, all puns and show tunes.

I spent the entire night before finishing things for work so I wouldn’t have to while I’m here. Figured I’d get some sleep as we drove, couldn’t have been more wrong. We got lost about three quarters of the way here. Without any reception, it took us over an hour to find our way on the map.

“I was thinking,” says John, returning from the verge of death.

“Need an aspirin?” asks Lawrence, cleaning his glasses.

“Hilarious. Anyway, I was thinking we’d try snowboarding. Barry would probably throw his back out, but I figured the three of us could…”

Lawrence laughs, Barry gives them both the finger.

“What do you think Leo, snowboarding?”

I don’t have to fake the yawn that comes out of my mouth.

“Let me sleep on it,” I reply, as if I’d really consider doing it and make myself the joke at the water cooler on Monday.

I head upstairs and claim a room. I don’t even unpack, just flop into bed. They don’t miss a beat downstairs, it’s like I never left with how loud they are. Still, my eyes get heavier and heavier. Before I know it, I’m thinking about my ex, wondering what she’s doing, and whom she might be doing it with…

I scramble awake, so much snow pounds my window I can barely tell it’s night. Though it feels like I’d only been out an hour or so, the clock says otherwise. I jump out of bed and fall right back in it, dry eyed and ready for round two with this pillow.

I think how embarrassing it would be to spend the entire first evening in bed, then I see something even more embarrassing: food and water left on the bedside desk.

“Can’t believe they came in here while I was sleeping,” I murmur. I complain, but so does my stomach.

I guzzle half the bottle in seconds; the water runs through me before I can even take a bite of the sandwich. As soon as I leave for the bathroom, I run into Barry with his boots in hand.

“Hey bud, how was the sandwich? Wasn’t sure if you were a tuna or bologna guy, so I played it safe with turkey.”

“Yeah, it was fine. Thanks.”

“You know,” Barry says, stopping me before I can get down the hallway. I feel a lecture coming on, I start the timer on the white noise.

“My son gets so lost in his homework sometimes that he forgets to eat. Can you believe it? Most kids are about video games, but I got to pry mine out of textbooks.”

I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing. Barry smiles.

“I’m saying, you’re a hard worker, but we all got to eat, and sleep. Anyways, Lawrence and I are heading out to grab us some hot food since we’re too lazy to cook. Want anything specific?”

“Whatever is fine, I’m not picky.”

“Cool.”

Barry heads downstairs and I’m left scratching my head. Although he talks about them all the time, it’s like I didn’t realize Barry really had a family at home until just now.

When did I start ignoring Barry? Damn, when have I ever truly listened to Barry? He’s nice, knowledgeable, and you don’t have to ask him for help because he’ll readily offer it.

My girlfriend—ex—was similar. The difference is she’d always give me her advice, even when I thought I was already doing a good job. Maybe I’ve been taking that out on Barry?

I get downstairs with both an empty bottle and plate. Barry and Lawrence are gone, it’s just John in the living room doing some calisthenics. It’s funny seeing him break a sweat when he's such a slacker at work.

I can’t remember the last time I exercised. Must have been over a month ago.

“Mr. Snow, welcome back to the land of the living.”

I nod to him with the empty bottle.

“So, hey man, we don’t talk much anymore. How've you been?” he asks.

“I’m good, same old same old, you know.”

“Anymore,” I say to myself, taken aback. I don’t recall us having ever talked much.

“Leo, I’m a pretty straight shooter, so sorry in advance.”

My instincts are telling me this conversation is headed somewhere I don’t want it to go. Unfortunately, a yawn doesn’t bail me out, and while I’m still tired, it’d be weird to go back to sleep at this point. At the mercy of the conversation, I take a seat on the sofa.

“Your girlfriend broke up with you, didn’t she?”

I’m as alert as I was the day she and I broke up; I stifle my immediate response the way I did back then.

“And what makes you think I didn’t leave her?”

I can see the twinkle of confirmation in his eyes. He grabs a towel and takes a seat in the rocking chair across from me. After a sigh, he starts talking.

“Remember when I first joined the company?”

I don’t.

“Suits and ties aren’t really my thing; I knew coming into the office that day I’d be a fish out of water. Won’t lie to you, not used to listening to someone younger than me, so when they said you’d be training me I wasn’t too thrilled.”

I vaguely remember now.

“I knew right away you were sharp. Which made me dislike the pairing even more,” John laughs. “Pretty sure I gave you a tough time.

“During lunch that day, you saw what I brought and asked if me I was a gym guy. You started talking about how you were too, and how your girl got you into a healthier lifestyle and all that.

“I was relieved, I thought everyone was going to be uptight, but you changed my mind. I never did apologize to you for being a jerk in the beginning.”

The day John’s speaking of was two years ago, my girlfriend and I had been together for six months. I had never been to the gym a day in my life before her, but she was convincing. Well, I guess I made it easy for her. I didn’t want to just keep up, IIIIII wanted to see the competition.

“Hey, Earth to Leo,” John waves.

“It’s fine,” I say. “That was a long time ago, we’re good.”

“That’s good to hear, but about the girlfriend…”

“Respectfully,” I stand, “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“When a person goes cold turkey off their healthy habits it shows. I can tell, first I thought you just plateaued, but you’ve been dragging yourself through work. People ask the three of us all the time if you’re okay.”

I can’t even look at John right now, so I know he doesn’t see my jaw drop. Not only do people believe I let myself go, but they also go to these three for answers.

“And you just think this all boils down to my ex?”

“I had a lady before I joined the company. I bounced around from to job to job, always told her I’d be a personal trainer or a triathlete or something. That was cool at first, but we got older. I hadn’t made any progress, among other things, and we broke up.

“I got this job to prove to her, and myself, that I could do it. You know? That I was solid. Between odd jobs and looking for a real one, I stopped hitting the gym, that place was my peace.

“It wasn’t until some know-it-all looked at my lunch that I realized I was still sticking to my diet, even though I was just going through the motions.”

This is the most serious I’ve heard John since I’ve known him, even in meetings he’s cracking jokes and asking questions after. Although he’s older, because of my experience I did somewhat take him lightly.

“John, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, really. But… I’m not ready to talk about this. It’s still pretty fresh.”

“I get it, you’re in the right place. This trip is all about forgetting relationship drama, especially for Lawrence.”

“What do you mean?”

John furrows his brow.

“His divorce? No one else at the job knows, but he’s mentioned it to us at the cubicle. The ink dried a few weeks ago. I know you zone out when you work, but you didn’t catch any of that?”

I can’t believe this. Lawrence is Mr. Consistent: first one in, last one out. In fact, Lawrence is the one who trained me way back when. I’m not sure why he hasn’t been promoted, but I’m positive he could move up if he wanted. He’s been going through a divorce and hasn’t missed a beat, yet I lose a girlfriend and I…

“We all got our issues, Leo. You aren’t the only one… Got to say, I’m surprised you said yes when I brought up the trip, I wasn’t going to ask, figured you’d just say no.”

“So why did you?”

“The trip was Barry’s idea, but Lawrence is the one who insisted we invite you, said you reminded him of himself. Which, I can’t see how, he’s a toothpick,” John laughs.

I stayed in the living room while John went to go shower, gave me time to think. With how negligent I’ve been to my co-workers, I still can’t believe I was invited, or that I accepted.

For a long time now I’ve been focused on being a better me. Not just for myself, but for my ex and our relationship, for our future. I had a serious case of tunnel vision, made her my world, and neglected the real one.

Now that she’s gone, I’ve been avoiding her. Hell, I’ve come all the way to a cabin in Vermont just to avoid her. Maybe it’s my feelings I’ve running from?

I don’t want to paint my ex like a villain, I wasn’t perfect. I think instead of torturing myself I ought to call her one day, get some closure. Who knows, we all got our issues, maybe she could use some too?

Barry, Lawrence, and the icy winds all enter the cabin.

“Hodor, Sir Lawrence, welcome back,” John says, coming downstairs.

“Who?” Barry asks.

“It’s another Thrones reference,” answers Lawrence.”

“Gosh, I really need to watch that show… Lawrence and I have got a smorgasbord of Vermont's finest for us all.”

“He means the best the diner had to offer, was the only place open tonight with the storm brewing,” Lawrence adds.

“Well, I’m eating double,” John begins, “today’s my cheat day.”

The three of them unpack the food at the table, I sit on the sofa and watch. You’d think they were related with how they carry on. I’m reminded that they’re the same at work, and that I don’t deserve to be here with them.

“Leo, you really going to let John take your share, or are you going to come join us?” Lawrence asks.

If it wasn’t weird, I’d slap myself. Though, they’d probably get a kick out of that. With some guilt and newfound respect, I take a seat at the table.

“So, you guys.”

They all turn to me.

“About snowboarding.”