Bridget

0-10

For the first ten years of Bridget’s life, the world was full of colour and sound and wonderful things. Every day was a new day. Every day was just the right length, long enough to play and learn and notice the people and the flowers and the birds and the dogs.

Ten-year-old Bridget loved to try new things and life seemed so long that it would never end.

10-20

For the next ten years of Bridget’s life, the colours and sounds were still there, but they seemed muted or faded, a shade or two lighter and duller than they used to be. The days sped up so they were not quite long enough to fit in everything she needed to do. She put her head down and worked hard so she wouldn’t let down the people around her.

Twenty-year-old Bridget believed she had plenty of time, so she stopped looking around.

20-30

For the next ten years of Bridget’s life, the colours and sounds and the world became a blur. She was no longer sure where one day ended and the next began. She worked on her career, barely took a holiday, falling into bed late every night so she could get up the next morning and do it all again.

Thirty-year-old Bridget almost forgot there was a world around her.

30-40

For the next ten years of Bridget’s life, she didn’t even notice when she began living her life for everyone else: children, husband, parents, dogs, cats, schools. The only reason she knew when a new day began was because she had to prepare lunches for everyone, often forgetting about her own.

Forty-year-old Bridget felt like she was part of a larger organism that she was indebted to and that she would never pay off her debt.

40-50

For the next ten years of Bridget’s life, people started to leave: children, parents, pets, friends. No one seemed to notice her anymore and she became like an extra in an old black-and-white movie. Something forgettable, only there to give context to other people's lives.

Fifty-year-old Bridget kept her head down and made busy work for herself so she wouldn’t feel so useless. But it didn’t always work and she often felt sad.

50-60

For the next ten years of Bridget’s life, she struggled to feel worthwhile in a world that rendered women past a certain age invisible. Once, she looked up and noticed a bright yellow tulip where there had been no tulip before and she heard a magpie chortling in the bush outside her bedroom window, but then she put her head back down again and tried to find something worth living for.

Sixty-year-old Bridget realised that no one really needed her anymore, and a sense of freedom settled comfortably on her shoulders like an old cardigan. She took a breath, and the air was pure and she was glad to be alive.

60-70

For the next ten years of Bridget’s life, the colours around her started to grow bright again and the world’s wonders waved their arms about until she noticed them. Every new day was a blessing, although the days sometimes felt too long and she started to go to bed earlier and earlier.

Seventy-year-old Bridget lived on her own and, despite the ever-present weight of loneliness, she believed the world was colourful and every day was full of wonders.

70-80

Eighty-year-old Bridget started to forget the in-between times, and even some of the now times.

80-90

Ninety-year-old Bridget just wished the world would go away. She’d had enough and, in moments of lucidity, realised there was so much she hadn’t done and seen and heard and experienced. She knew she never would. She just wanted it to be over.

90-100

One-hundred-year-old Bridget lay in her dirt bed, oblivious that there ever was anything else or could be or had been.