Behind the thoughts of Men

"Nate, Kal, Zane. Come on over here. We need to have a conversation about men and their feelings about and towards women".

"Well then, just so we are even, Jules, Zoey, Pam, join Melody over here for a man to man...and woman to woman talk about feelings ...Ugh, why do I feel that I am going to regret this...

As a man, I was told to be stone. Then blamed for being cold".

As a woman, I was told to be soft. Then punished for bending. For softening.

~I admire women. I greatly fear disappointing them. Which makes me seem cold.

"I admire men. I fear the thought of being consumed by them".

~I want to be the protector, but I don’t want that to mean you think I see you as fragile.

"I want to be held, but I don’t want that to mean you think I can’t stand on my own".

Sometimes I don’t speak because I don’t know which version of me you’re asking for.

"Sometimes I speak too much because silence has been used against me much too often".

I wish you knew how much I’m usually just guessing.

"I wish you knew how much I’m always remembering, not to be spiteful, I just remember".

I want to be enough and much more. I want to be...without having to justify myself all of the time.

"I desire to be too much sometimes... and still be loved".

I’m tired of pretending that I don’t need tenderness. I am just as much human as everyone else.

"Then stop. Please. I’m tired of pretending I don’t need rest from trying too hard to understand".

I want to be chosen for who I am, not for what I can bring or carry.

"I want to be chosen for who I am, not for what I can or cannot endure".

I don’t want to be feared.

"I don’t want to be dismissed".

I want to understand you.

"I want to be understood without shrinking".

I want partnership.

"I want reciprocity".

I want to be allowed to be human.

"I want to be allowed to be whole".

Do you see me?

"Do you hear me"?

Do you trust me?

"Do you believe me"?

Do you want me?

"Do you choose me"?

Do you forgive me?

"Do you stay"?

~~~~~~

"How about we meet halfway in compromise.

I was told to be soft. I don't always want to be soft, I want to be what I need to be when I need to be. How will you react".

Then let me learn softness from you. Let us be everything together, cheesy as it may sound coming from me".

"Ha, ha, you do sound strange, bit I accept the challenge".

I was told to be stone. To not let my feelings show. 'Be a man, men don't cry'. But you know what, I will damned well cry if I need to, just not in the bathroom anymore".

"Here, here".

Then let me place my palm on that liberated stone until it remembers warmth.

"My greatest fear is of being consumed".

Then I will learn to endure the hunger without devouring. Just slowly sipping and enjoying.

I fear disappointing you. The shame of it is hard to comprehend.

Then I will learn to expect without punishing. To understand both sides of the coin.

I want to be too much and still be loved...for I am constantly reaching.

Then I will stretch my capacity until “too much” becomes “exactly you and I", meeting in the middle.

I want to be enough, much more and beyond..

Then I will stop measuring you against ghosts...accept you for the unique individual that you are.

I’m tired of pretending I don’t need rest. I wish to accept the limits of who I am and allow myself to just be.

Then rest in my presence without apology. I will watch over you until you awaken, refreshed.

I’m tired of pretending I don’t need tenderness.

Then take tenderness from my hands without shame.

Do you see me?

I see you, and I let that sight change me.

Do you hear me?

I hear you, and I let that hearing soften me.

Do you trust me?

I trust you, and I let that trust unmask me.

Do you stay?

I stay, and I let that staying steady me.

I was told to endure.

Then let endurance become shared, not solitary.

I was told to carry everything.

Then let carrying become a duet, not a sentence.

I want reciprocity.

Then take my hand; I offer it without dominance.

I want to be allowed to be human.

Then be human here, now; I will not turn away.

"THEN LET ALL VOICES, INTERWEAVING - SAY ONE FINAL ENCORE..."

"Let my fear become your understanding".

""Let your longing become my courage".

"Let my silence become your listening.

"Let your truth become my transformation".

"Let what we were told become what we choose".

"Let what we choose become what we become".

"Amen to that, y'all".