Before

As I gazed upon a barren wasteland, completely devoid of colour, I couldn’t help but wonder what it had all been like before. Before people let their hatred consume their actions I could only assume that the world was beautiful, at least that was what my mother had told me once. My mother was one of few that believed the earth was once colourful; a land that embraced individuality so wonderfully that people would spend time just embracing the world they’d helped grow. I liked to believe in her words, they gave me hope for a possible future… One that wasn’t so bleak and exhausting. My father on the other hand thought much differently, he believed that people were monsters and so the world must’ve been as such, a gruelling place filled with disgust and anger, so much so that it’d consume nations and force their evil hands. Of course there was evidence that leaned more towards his pessimistic views, the world had in fact become, what one could only describe as, a nuclear mess at the hands of its people.

Deciding to end my thoughtful moment I continued through the wasteland. An old, quite weathered gas mask clung tightly to my face in the hopes that no unfiltered air would seep through. I’d managed to pull it from a mutated corpse during my travels, as my own mask had become too unreliable, but it would also eventually be too much of a risk to wear. The pollution in the air wasn't always fatal to humans, though it somehow managed to take out everything else including the oceans that once brought life to the now giant craters buried into the earth. The very few people who weren't affected by the natural air were taken away by whoever was in power to either be killed, as they vastly affected the natural order, or to be aimlessly, and most likely hopelessly studied like the mutations they were. I never quite understood the point in power, not in our world, before power was likely used as a way of prevention, to make sure that people would keep the peace but in our world peace didn't exist, all people could really do was fight for survival and pray that they could protect what little life they held.

I'd unfortunately managed to survive long enough to see what happened to people that could breath the air; in a small safe zone built right beside one of the smaller earth craters, my own mother was taken by swarms of men with huge weapons and vehicles that people had forgotten existed. These powerful men pulled her from our home and took her to a place I longed to find but years soon passed; their means of travel were too much for my legs to follow. The way they handled her was awful, if it wasn't for the kindness of a woman my mother had cared for, the men would've removed my own mask and killed me... I didn't inherit her curse, like my father I couldn't breath the natural air and so would always be hidden behind any mask I could get my hands on, but that didn't matter to those men, if they'd killed me it would only mean less chances for the mutation to spread.

Clutching tightly to the heart shaped locket that never left my neck, I quickly made my way to what looked like an old trace of a building. I'd found the locket the day after my mother had been taken, it was left in a small hole that had been made by the men's vehicles, I knew it was my mother's as soon as I'd seen it. She'd told me the locket had been passed through generations of our family, somehow even managing to live through the war, naturally I believed in every word she said but my father made it very clear that he didn't, telling me the necklace was taken from one of the dead.

The trace of a building grew taller as I got closer to it, eventually it didn't seem like much of a trace at all and instead stood towering over me, it's shadow being the only release for my eyes against the beaming sun. I could tell that it was a building from before, the shell that had been left was made with brick and thick layers of concrete, the buildings created after were all sculpted from the land either made up of dirt or in the luckier areas huge boulders of stone. I placed my hand on the wall closest to me and traced it as I walked around the side looking for an entrance. Buildings from before often had traces left behind from people that had used them as shelter, before the safe zones were created, my curiosity would always get the better of me and so I'd end up looking inside every one I came across, though they were a rarity.

The building seemed a little more fortified than others I had raided before and it was definitely less broken down, people would usually be deterred by how well maintained it was but the lack of bullet holes and rubble only peaked my interest further. My mother said that my curiosity was boundless and beautiful whilst of course my father disagreed and lectured me on how things unknown were that way for a reason, I never really did listen to him. Cautiously and once again with one hand on my locket I managed to find where the door to the shell would have been and so journeyed inside.

Upon entry everything seemed so empty, it wasn't strange for the building to be completely vacant but this one was too empty, it almost seemed clean. My curiosity quickly subsided and turned to a survival instinct as I heard heavy footsteps from inside the building, they were too close for me not to see and yet I had no idea where they were coming from.

"We saw you!" a voice echoed from behind where I was stood. Quickly I turned, holding out a knife I'd taken from my father before I left him.

The footsteps didn't belong to just one person, four tall figures stood in a tactical line all with gas masks shielding their identities. I'd never been in a real fight before but still I didn't run, I'd never been all that fast anyway.

"Looks like we caught ourselves an opportunist," One of the figures spoke, taking out a weapon that I could only just make out as a knife, a lot bigger than the one I carried.

"I'm not looking for trouble," I croaked, sounding no more intimidating than the dust we were all standing on.

The figures didn't say anything back, they didn't even speak to each other but all, perfectly in sync, running towards me. I knew I had to run but my feet had no intention of moving, my brain screamed for them to just turn but before they could listen one of the figures had tried to run straight through me, knocking my frail body to the floor.

I heard small chatter as I laid on the ground but couldn't make out the words, I assumed they were talking about different things I owned as they took things from my bag and handed them to each other.

"Hands off!" I yelled, the words finally managing to leave my head.

The four stopped, staring as I got up from the floor. I thought before that they had no intention of letting me leave the way I'd entered the building but only knew that as a fact when one of them, the much broader of the four, took their hand and hit my mask up, being sure to grab it when it fell to the floor... I'd only ever seen one person die from the natural air, within seconds they were bleeding from their ears, eyes and nose screaming for help but there was no help, no cure, no way out of the death it'd cause.

I accepted it faster than I thought I would, holding my locket with the same hand that'd clutched it before, I slowly sunk back into the grit. The figures continued searching through my property like nothing had happened whilst I gathered all of my thoughts ready to breathe in the poison that surrounded us all. I thought of my mother and prayed that her fate wasn't as painful as mine was going to be, then simply breathed in... then out... then back in... then out again, then in, then out over and over until my lungs were full of the death that was taking longer than it should have.

The four people left, like myself they had assumed I'd just succumb to the air... But I hadn't, I breathed in with all of my might and still no horrific fate came. I could breathe, actually breathe the air. Like my mother who'd been taken all those moons before I was breathing the very thing I, and the whole world had been told to fear.

I loved my mother, idolised her when I was young but couldn't forgive what she'd bestowed upon me... It was a fate worse than the death I should've received She'd given me power.