Beacon of Light A Brave Awakening Story Part 2

chapter 4

September 4th, 2021

As I entered Akron Canton International Airport I was so nervous I kept messing up everything. I forgot my International documents so I had to find the nearest printer. Or I couldn’t go to Saint Lucia. I was scared I would lose my fiancé, I didn’t want him to leave me. I wasn’t sure what I was entering into, as the unknown never really occurred to me.

I had lost the old man a few weeks ago, and by me leaving him choosing myself I was dead to him, and selfish beyond measure.

In those few weeks I was scared, I wasn’t sure of what to do. I made very quick decisions. Meanwhile, I’m squatting from house to house, after losing so much.

Even offered a job at Red Roof Inn, but turned down.

As I look back at everything I ever went through, it makes me wish I did things differently.

As it would be the first time taking a plane into a different country. I just wasn’t sure of what to expect. What is Saint Lucia like? Will my future in-laws love me? I want their approval. I want them to love me, what if they don’t? What if when he looks at me he runs away saying get away from me.

I try not to think about what is right behind me. The past literally biting me in the butt. The only good thing is the fact that the only father figure I ever had made me his financial beneficiary upon his death. So much money I shouldn’t have even thought of it. I didn’t know that Mommow had left me that same amount upon her death. If I were unable to take care of the money it was supposed to go directly to the old man. Where he will be using it on my behalf.

Looking back at everything, all of the truths I learned were just too much to bear. I was happy to leave Medina, Ohio to live in Saint Lucia.

As everyone packs into the plane, I had to stay twenty four hours in Miami before I would land in Saint Lucia. So many thoughts went through my mind.

One of which, I’m hoping while I slept my mother didn’t add a location chip. But I didn’t want to think about her, my aunt, her sister and Ash, and my niece, I just didn’t want to think.

Writing was far from my mind, I was just emotionally exhausted. Funny thing was it was two days before my birthday, and I hadn’t had a great birthday in a long time.

I felt like a character in one of my books. Right at the climax, before the showdown between the villain, and the protagonist.

I was so nervous, I wanted to eat so much. But while still grieving over the old man, and the life I used to live. The life I knew no better.

Did you know that when you’ve been abused the toxic life is the only life you know? I didn’t know how true that would be until much later in life. How do I just adjust to this unknown new life?

It wasn’t until my plane landed in Miami followed by the next day in Saint Lucia would I know what real happiness can be.

I had organized my vacation at the best guesthouse or so I thought. It would be known later that the landlady wouldn’t know how to cook, and over-charged on drinks.

I remember the line took what seemed like forever to come inside the country.

As the line kept moving more and more, still not in the best mental state but eager to see Shane. I kept going, and soon I arrived in Saint Lucia with a kind welcome.