BARN OWL DUDE RANCH

November 2012

According to the GPS, she had thirty-five miles to go before arriving at the Barn Owl Dude Ranch. On this perfectly pleasant and peaceful Fall morning, the San Antonio Press intern, Babs Bass, was on her way to do research and to do an interview with the owners of the ranch for a feature story.

Nervously changing radio stations, Babs settled on a country-western station. With Jason Aldean's song, Wheels Rollin, playing on the radio, Babs turned right according to the commands of her GPS. Turning off the three-lane freeway, she drove onto a two-lane gravel road which soon turned into a one-way dirt road. Babs pondered, "Could this be a GPS mistake?"

From the West, galloping horses next to the dirt road caught Babs' attention, she abruptly stopped her car. Quickly, pulling out her Canon camera, she snapped a half-dozen photos of the horses before continuing her journey. Five minutes later, Babs entered the ranch and parked her car.

Surprisingly, there was no one to greet her. Curiously, Babs confidently wandered over to the freshly painted barn. Inside the barn:

"Whoo! Whoo! Who are you?" asked the barn owl.

Babs didn't see anyone. Babs snapped, "Who's there?"

"Howdy, I'm Barney!" exclaimed the barn owl.

Babs: What the? Are you a barn owl? Are you a night owl?

Barney: Yes! Yes! So! What are you doing here?

Babs: I'm Babs Bass. The San Antonio Press sent me to do research and do an interview for a feature story on the ranch.

Barney: Well! The owners are Glenn and Gloria. Glenn is in the hospital in San Antonio. Recovering from knee surgery, of course, Gloria is there with him. With Glenn's medical condition, the ranch is temporarily closed until January. Andy, who is their right-hand man, is looking after the long-horn steers. He is fixin' to repair the fence on the Northeast corner of the ranch. Really, can't say when Andy will be back to look after the horses.

Babs: Do you know when Glenn and Gloria purchased the ranch?

Barney: Oh yes! That was back in February 2007. The Conners owned the ranch before them. Don't fully remember why the Conners sold the ranch. Oh, well! Experiencing burnout, Glenn and Gloria moved from California to here. According to Gloria, the ranch was ideally located being fifty minutes Southwest of San Antonio, Texas' airport. Location, location, location! Isn't that the realtor's mantra? Oh, yes! Back to Glenn and Gloria! While Glenn was an accountant, Gloria was a high-profile attorney. After receiving a letter from a friend, who was living in San Antonio, they were convinced that it was time. They agreed! It was time to leave the smog and pollution behind and get back to nature.

Babs: Is it a typical dude ranch with trail rides and a chuckwagon serving steak and beans?

Barney: Yep! It started out that way but that QUICKLY changed. The great recession hit nine months after purchasing the ranch. The repairs were almost completed. Tightening their budget was easier said than done. Money became a hot topic. Then! While breaking in a new horse, Gloria broke her leg. Right after Gloria's leg healed. Glenn was experiencing his own health issues. A lifestyle change was advised by Glenn's doctors. After starting a Keto diet, he lost thirty-five pounds in less than six weeks. Between economic conditions and health issues, things were not looking up. At that point, they decided that their mission and marketing plans needed to be changed. Changing direction, they offered daily, overnight, weekends, two weeks, or sixty-day options. In no time, they specialized in healthy breaks from the city and weight loss camps.

Babs: Did they name the ranch after you?

Barney: Not exactly! They didn't name it Barney's Dude Ranch. Now, did they? When they spotted me on their first tour of the ranch with their realtor, Gloria considered me a good luck sign. Right then and there, they decided to purchase the ranch. It was Gloria who whispered to Glenn that the Barn Owl Dude Ranch was the ideal name for their property.

Babs: What all does the Barn Owl Dude Ranch offer?

Barney: Let's see! There is an indoor pool to your left and there is a new exercise pavilion on your right. South of the main house you will find an outdoor pool. There are eight cabins scattered around the property. In addition, the main house has four guest rooms. As for trails, there are three, depending on your riding skills. You can bicycle on the beginner's trail. Of course, you have to provide your own bicycle. Ummm! It's time for my nap. While I take a nap, have yourself a look around. Come back in a couple of hours. Reckon I can help you with finishing the story.

Glossary of Texas words: Howdy means hello. Fixin' to means about to. Reckon means think.

Writer's notes: This story is entered into the Tall Tail Challenge. It was previously submitted into the Return of the Night Owl challenge. Thank you for reading! You are appreciated.