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Elishia let her pointer finger trace along the line where the glass had shattered on the jewelry display.

Mama was looking for the pretzel dough recipe in the nearest Auntie Anne’s to the store she left Elishia and Papa in. Mama told her not to move away from the mannequin behind her.

Elishia slowly peeked over her shoulder and through her matted curls to see if she was staring at her.

Yep. Still Staring.

Her pale, flat eyes didn’t really focus on Elishia, merely landed on the young woman’s form, and making her horribly uncomfortable.

Elishia quickly rounded on the offensive being and shouted, “Mama says it isn’t nice to stare!”

Silence.

Elishia crossed her arms and pouted at her father. Papa sat in his wheelchair lamely, as spittle formed in the left corner of his mouth. The gray-blue patchwork dome of metal and plastic that covered his head always seemed to be wet somehow.

Looking at the spots where the sickly pink brain was accessible through the covering always made Elishia’s collarbone itch where it melded her tin chest plate. It was rusting there and made her fingernails orange when she scratched at it.

Elishia turned back to the display and began tracing again. It was one of her favorite pastimes in the mall since every glass case, window, and mirror was destroyed in the aftermath of the bomb by looters. Elishia liked the patterns that formed and the way the shards had fallen beneath the fixtures, like a glittering shadow.

As she continued to follow along with her finger, a streak of red appeared behind it. Confused, she lifted her hand in front of her face and gasped. Her finger had been cut across the padded middle, seeping bright red blood down her finger.

An image of her mother’s hand clenched around her wrist took over Elishia’s sight.

**********

She was dragging Elishia into a poorly lit bathroom. The smell was foul and Elishia leaned back, using her body weight to stop her mother from pulling her into the stall.

“Mama, please! What’s wrong?!” she cried.

Mama shook a plastic bag in Elishia’s face and pointed at her, “You’re what’s wrong! This shouldn’t be happening! I fixed you! I fixed you!”

Elishia was scared and her Mama’s words didn’t make sense. Mama’s eyes were normally such a clear blue…but they were glossy and red-rimmed, set deep into her contorted face.

“Take off your pants!” Mama shrieked.

Elishia shook her head vehemently but couldn’t speak.

Mama pushed her onto the dirty floor and pulled her pants off, dropping them to the ground next to Elishia.

Elishia froze at the sight of a large stain of dark liquid in the crotch of her jeans juxtaposed to the pink and blue embroidered butterflies along the back pocket.

Elishia’s head began to pound then.

Mama tugged off her daughter’s yellow panties to reveal that the crotch had stained there too. With the usual rust, but also with a slick black and dark red liquid. It smelled worse than the bathroom. It smelled too sweet, to the point of making her stomach flip.

Elishia was shaking. She had not felt how wet her thighs were before then.

“No, no, no! This isn’t right! It’s too early and I fixed you! We need to start over again,” Mama was gripping the underwear so tightly the liquid oozed out of her fingers. When she realized this, she tossed them aside and pulled out a change of clothes for Elishia.

Mama took out the new rainbow panties and stuck a long, white, cushion onto the fabric.

Elishia stood up when prompted and froze as Mama cleaned her up and dressed her.

When she finished, Mama pulled out her pale gold locket from under her hoodie. Elishia flinched at the sight of the heart-shaped necklace and the small poppy flowers embossed on the front. Elishia didn’t know why it startled her so much, but she always felt an odd terror when she heard the chain clink together.

Elishia shut her eyes tight and shook harder.

Mama tsked and cupped Elishia’s cheeks in both of her cold, damp hands; pointer fingers resting easily under her earlobes. “Don’t cry now baby! I’m going to fix you again. Everything will be all right.”

Mama’s bloody fingers pressed the hollow areas beneath her ears and Elishia saw darkness.

**********

An icy sweat had built up under Elishia’s hair and was dripping down her back. She was panting and didn’t understand what just happened. It was rare that she had bad memories and she couldn’t recall that one before now.

‘Was it a bad dream,’ she thought to herself, ‘Can you have bad daydreams?’

She looked around for Mama as dread clawed its way up her throat. She frantically wheeled Papa out and down the hall, passing by each deserted store until they reached the food court.

Papa’s head lolled back and to the side as she stopped running. They had halted by the merry-go-round, with its gold trim and beautiful multicolored horses. Elishia looked around again to make sure Mama wasn’t nearby.

Elishia stepped up onto the ride and stood there for a moment. The last time she was here, the horses seemed much bigger... now they only reached her hip…but they used to be taller than her.

She stroked the plastic mane of a white horse with blue speckles.

**********

Elishia’s view was hijacked by the sensation of lifting and falling rhythmically as music played around her.

She chortled in delight and bounced on the horse as she waved to Mama who smiled back in response as she watched her go around and around.

Elishia had begged her mother to restore the ride for her for months and now it was her fourth birthday surprise.

“It’s time to go now Elishia,” Mama said, “Papa should be almost done with supper.”

Elishia had been riding for an hour but she wasn’t ready to finish playing. Instead, she ignored Mama and kept laughing.

Mama said, “Alright now. We can come back another day but it’s time to go.”

The little girl got down from the white pony and onto a black one.

Mama frowned, “Elishia. It’s time to leave.”

Elishia continued to ignore her mother and hopped from pony to pony, laughing the more frantic her Mama became.

She was about to get back on the white one when to ride came to a sudden halt. Elishia fell and hit her forehead on the hoof of the horse from the momentum.

Stunned, she began to cry as Mama came onto the ride and picked her up. “I told you to come on! Now, look at your face! I need to fix you again now.”

Through blurred, teary eyes, Elishia saw the gold of the locket in her mother’s hands.

Mama pressed the hollows beneath Elishia’s ears and her vision faded to black.

**********

Elishia stumbled into the pole behind her. Her mind was racing and she couldn’t understand what was happening.

She looked for her Papa and was surprised to see his watery eyes focused on her.

She quickly scrambled to his side before his focus left him.

“Papa, what’s happening to me? I’m seeing things… I don’t know if they are real or not. Please, tell me what this is!” Elishia begged.

Papa’s quivering hand reached for her cheek and she leaned into it.

“Listen to me closely,” he wheezed. Papa’s breath was stale but Elishia didn’t care.

“Your mother…she loves you. But she’s lost. When the bomb hit Columbia, the fallout changed us, and you while you were still in your Mama’s belly. I did what I could to help keep you alive, but it was your mother who gave you the ability to function. Your organs weren’t developed and you were missing some limbs. She created your prosthetics and has been maintaining you your entire life.”

Papa stopped to take a breath as Elishia just stared at him.

He swallowed and continued, “But, she doesn’t know how to manage the confrontations between you! She can’t understand that you are becoming your own person. I tried to stop her so many times…but now, she’s controlling me too. She’s changed! You need to find the chips. Once you have the chips, you have the control!”

Elishia could see his eyes start to lose focus as they slid slowly to the side, but he squeezed her cheek before letting go.

“I see you two have been catching up,” Mama’s voice echoed eerily behind Elishia.

She whirled to face Mama.

The older woman was holding a long knife in her hand, tapping it against her thigh.

“Your Papa has always had a soft spot for you. Letting you get away with murder any chance he got. I had to be the bad guy! I had to discipline you when you got out of hand!” Mama stepped closer and closer until she was right in front of Elishia.

Elishia’s face was red as she demanded, “What did he mean? What’s wrong with us?”

Mama raised the knife under Elishia’s neck and screamed, “Who do you think you’re talking to?! I AM YOUR MOTHER!”

Elishia grabbed her mother’s wrist and twisted it back. A loud snap emanated from the arm and she wrestled the knife out of Mama’s hand. Without thinking, Elishia swung the knife down into Mama repeatedly as she screamed her rage and terror.

Mama tried to scream, but only managed to gurgle.

Elishia let her Mama drop to the floor and went over to Papa, cutting his throat quickly.

He never made a sound.

Breathing heavily Elishia just stared at her Mama’s prone form and waded through everything Papa said.

It felt like her heart twisted inside as she saw the locket mocking her from her Mama’s bosom.

Elishia dropped the knife and knelt by her Mama. She fiddled with the necklace until it opened to reveal two metal, tiny, bluish-green chips.

Elishia didn’t understand what they were, or what they meant. All she knew is that she had hurt her parents and that she didn’t want to be alone.

Tears streaming down her face, Elishia took one chip in each hand, and shaking, slowly reached up under her ears. There, she pressed as her Mama had done. She felt a shifting beneath her skin until 2 open slits appeared in the same position.

One full minute passed silently before Elishia kissed her Mama’s cheek, closed her eyes, and inserted the chips.