Bail In

“Exactly. I’ve been trying to get into the penitentiary,” Llyod Hutch said.

“And you’re serious about this?”

“It’s like university. I don’t want to commit a crime but I just want to experience prison.”

Bail bondsman Truckland Tarrt looked down and then came up laughing at his desk.” I just don’t see how that would be feasible. Why don’t you just enroll at First State instead of going to the state pen?”

“I want the whole idea of prison: the lingo, the health care programs, the heat in the winter, air conditioning in the summer, the Muslim conversion the job placement opportunities.”

“Mr. Hutch, there’s no way to pay to go to prison. You would’ve had to commit a crime. It’s that simple. Where’d you get such a notion?”

“My two older brothers are serving twenty five years each for drug distribution. I visited them many times. I sent mail and emails. The whole while when I’m in that cafeteria talking to them, Shabbaz al-Sadiqq and Tarik Mohammad, I gained a fondness for how they’re running an Internet business behind bars. They said the food was pretty good, too.”

“What about the social order?” Tarrt asked. “The gang fights, the tribalism, the mindless work, the rape? What do you have to say about that?”

Hutch laughed. “My brothers both said if you keep your head down and mind your own business, you should be fine.”

“The key word there is should,” Tarrt retorted.

“Regardless, I want in…now. If there’s a way to pay to get out of jail, there must be some way to do it.”

Tarrt clasped his hands together on his desk. “It’s complicated to get someone out of prison, much less getting a non-criminal into the penal system. It makes absolutely no sense. What your brothers did should stand as a sign for you to improve your life in the world, not try to get freebies in prison.”

Hutch looked out the window at an elderly woman pushing a cart of groceries. He turned back to Tarrt.

“So you’re saying if I get up and go out there and knock that lady over the head and steal all her stuff I could go to jail but otherwise I couldn’t enter the wall?”

“That would be a heinous crime and something to be avoided. I strongly suggest you go to a job placement center to find employment. There are also housing programs that will permit you to keep up your household and give you the self-esteem you so desperately need.”

Hutch moved in his seat. He dig his fingers into the chair.

“Let’s say I had a drug ring.”

“Do you, now?”

“No. Just for the sake of argument. Would I be able to get locked up and join their online scheme?”

“Hypothetically speaking, you could do all that and more but I implore you to consider staying completely legal. And about this online drug ring….what does it entail?”

“It’s completely legitimate. They’re selling over the counter drugs in the tri-state area. They’re going to go before a board in a few months seeking parole. If they get it, they’ll be able to reap the funds and run the business on the outside. I want to get in jail to learn how to transact business with the people most oppressed by the system.”

“I hear you.”

“I hope you do.”

“I just don’t understand, besides all the ‘perks’ that go with it, jail is not exactly the place to be. What about your liberty, your freedom? All of that is stripped away once you go behind the wall. Out here, every opportunity is open to you. You’ll have full rights and no record. Your brothers can’t say that. They’re convicted felons. They will never vote. They will have to sign forms in order to gain ownership over households. Is that what you want?”