At the Bull Races

I could see Joshua stretching, getting ready for his race. I told him stories of my days of glory when I prepared and stretched for my race, all the while the proverbial butterflies fluttered throughout my stomach. He was taking his strides making sure he kept those arms pumping. I wondered whether he has that killer instinct, that ability to destroy his opponents. Since he was a little boy he always showed a gentle spirit. As a kid he always asked for me to read his favorite story before he slept. It was the story of the gentle bull.

Ferdinand was stung by a bee. That accident caused everyone to think that he was the ferocious beast that everyone expected. They thought that the giant ferocious bull could never be the flower loving gentle lamb. Joshua has always been that gentle lamb. He has the natural talent with explosive speed. The quarter mile is the “man’s race” they say. He watched videos upon videos trying to figure out the race. The videos offered suggestions on how to run the 400 meter. Sprint out hard…steady your pace…then speed up…Others suggested a slow start…speed up on the straight away…then kick it in at the end. The suggestions were vast. Joshua listened intently taking lots of notes.

“Should I go out fast? Should I start slow? Should I save my energy?”, are all the question he kept asking me. I counseled him the best I could:

“Joshua, you go out fast and reach top speed. The winner is the one who can maintain top speed the longest.” I said.

“That’s why you tell me to keep working out on my upper body, “ he said.

I nodded.

I watched him from the other side of the track. I am now pacing, trying to figure out where would be the best vantage point. Where can I best video his performance as well as cheer him on? I remember how my dad would pop out on different points of the track and cheer me on. I found his voice the inspiration that forced me to try harder. I wondered whether Joshua had that same spirit. I wondered whether Joshua has what we call “gana”.

Gana is hard to describe. It’s that will to succeed. It’s that angst to excel at all costs. It’s the will be better than you are and not accept defeat. Gana is more than desire, it’s the will power to over come all will power. Did Ferdinand have that gana? Perhaps his gana was always that gentle spirit. In the story the fans expected Ferdinand to explode and be the ferocious beast they touted him to be. Instead, he reached the middle of the bull ring and simply smelled a flower. The crowds were disappointed. Ferdinand was sent to the meadows where he belonged. I wanted to use this story to motivate Joshua.

Before he went off to the other side of the side, I spoke to him.

“Joshua, remember that favorite bed time story I used to read to you all the time?” I asked.

“There were so many,” he said.

He’s right. I used to read to him all the mother goose tales and then pick one book as the climax.

“Remember Ferdinand the bull?” I asked.

“Yes I do, “ he said. He continued to stretch his arms and hamstrings.

“Well…remember when the bee stung him…,” I started. I then rethought my pep talk strategy. I wanted him to seek within himself. I wanted him to understand gana. It is something one can not teach someone. Gana has to come from within. Ferdinand did not try to be something other than himself.

“Joshua…be yourself…find out what you want to do in this race and then do it.” I finally said.

“What does Ferdinand have to do with the race? Why did you mention him?” he asked.

“Nothing…whatever you want from this race, go get it.”I said.

He nodded and headed off to the other side of the track. I looked for a vantage point on the track. I found the perfect spot. I will stand on the last turn before he hits the straight away. Here was where I would cheer him. I decided not to video tape him but let the memory live in my mind’s eye.

“Runners to your marks,” yelled the starter. I could hear him from across the field. Joshua took off his sweats, shaking his arms loose sauntering off to the starting blocks. I am watching him, remembering how I felt when I ran these races. He’s brushing off the dirt form his fingers and took the stance.

“Set!” was the second command. This is most terrifying moment. The runners had to remain very still until that gun goes off. Every thought speeds through your mind. Explode…explode…move…pump the arms…extend…breathe…these were the thoughts. I wonder what Joshua was thinking. Was he thinking about exploding? Was he thinking about his form?

BANG!!!

The gun went off. Joshua took off. He’s running straight up. Arms moving. He’s moving but I wonder whether he’s thinking too much of his form. Was he being Ferdinand or should I be that stinging bee? He was coming closer to my area. He started to lean into the turn. Here's where I started shouting.

“Now! Pump those arms…you got this…get him … get him…pump…pump pump…” I kept shouting. I then saw something I had never seen in him. He leaned forward from the waist stared straight at the lead runner. I saw a determination, I saw a bee had stung him. He caught the lead runner, into the lead to win he race.

I rushed to the finish line. We hugged each other.

“Dad did you see that? I don’t know what got into me." he said while catching his breath. "I thought about what you said…You told me to decided what I wanted.” He kept gasping. “When I hit the turn I heard your voice…I said to myself : I want to win.” he said.

“How did I do?” He asked. I looked into his eyes. Did I turn him into the raging Ferdinand or is this the real Joshua?

“I love you Joshua. You did great.”