At Summers End

“Just do it,” Katerina thought to herself, “You already know how she feels about you. Just admit it!” The young duchess paced back and forth underneath the apple tree, trying to find the courage to waltz over to the barn and speak with the horse trainer inside. She knew that racing season was coming to an end and that her father, Lord Petrov, would soon send away half of the training staff until the following Spring. She also knew that she might risk never seeing her again if she did not reveal her true feelings before the season’s end. Could she really just let her go like that?

How is it that this trainer, Josephina, whom she barely knew but for a few short months, was consuming her every waking thought? How could this woman, who came from halfway across the continent, manage to wiggle her way into every night dream and fantasy? Was it the way her long, dark exotic hair shone in the evening summer sun? Was it the way she looked back at the duchess and grinned every time she beat her in a friendly horse race? Or perhaps it was the ever so gentle way she whispered Katerina’s name in the quiet of the night when sneaking out for a late-night swim without disturbing the rest of the sleeping house? There is just something intimately thrilling about navigating through dark corridors with nothing but a candlestick to light the way, knowing that just beyond the parlor doors, someone is waiting for you, beckoning you out into the livelihood of midnight.

“The way her hands linger on mine when showing me how to hold the reigns.....the way she held onto my waist when helping me up after a fall....I am not mistaken....I need to go to her now”. Without a second more of hesitation, Katerina marched straight for the barn, threw open the doors, and looked around until she locked eyes with the tall, young woman in the corner raking out an empty horse stall. She walked over to her, taking the rake from her grasp and tossing it to the side.

“Kat, what are you doing? I wasn’t through using that....” she was abruptly cut off.

“Why do you always come for me in the secrecy of the night? Or out in the lonely pastures? Or in the middle of the forest with not a soul around but us? Why do you whisper things in my ear when we are in mixed company, making me avert my eyes as if what I’m being told is sensitive and private? And why does my heart race every time I am near you, or I hear your voice, or every time I catch your gaze?” She grabbed Josephina’s hand and placed it onto her chest to reveal an explosive heartbeat.

They just stood there for a moment, looking into each other’s eyes, feeling the heart palpitations, searching for the right words to say. Time seemed to have stopped momentarily for the both of them, and everything was drowned out except for their requited gazes.

“Oh, my love,” she said to the duchess.

“Those words that I whisper to you are indeed private and sensitive; I only mean them for you. The reason I only come for you at night is that I cannot bear the thought of sharing these intimate moments with you when others are near to distract us!” Her lips quivered with emotion. “I have come to know you, to know your soul, and I am burning to know you more! You say that I make your heart race, but just the very thought you sets off every spark within me. I am completely numb with anticipation! Sick from thinking of what only might be!”

Katerina was jolted by this and took a step back. “But why only MIGHT it be? Why can’t it JUST be?”

“Because of your father! Hasn’t he arranged for you to go away for the autumn and winter months to a school where you might hope to be swept up by some young viscount looking to settle down with his dowry?”

The young duchess looked at Josephina with fire in her eyes and the most assured authority she has ever had, “My father may hold my trust and admiration, but he does not captain the ship of my affections.”

“Then who does?”.

“I do. And I want you.”

With that, Josephina stepped closer into the duchess, backing her up into the stable wall, and with both hands cupping the sides of her head, she brought their lips together for the first kiss of their lovely encounter. And just like that, all other sounds were hushed. All of the light from the outside was dimmed. Every puff of air from the gentle breeze was blocked. Every thought was erased. All that mattered was their embrace at that very moment.

After what felt like half a lifetime, their lips finally parted, keeping their eyes closed and foreheads resting on each other. All that was heard was their heavy breathing from the intimate closeness.

The woman caressed Kat’s lips with her thumb; the other hand placed back over her heart. She thought to herself how long she had wanted to kiss her and regretted having wasted so much time wondering if her advances would be reciprocated. “Now, what happens next?” She whispered in painful delight.

“Now, I must go and speak to my father.”