Ashes Ashes

The only noise reverberating through the caliginous diner is my shallow breathing. I’m currently tucked under one of the booth tables. The seats have many lacerations decorating the fabric, foam can be seen seeping out from the cracks. Neither rats nor vermin inhabit this diner anymore, for they were all wiped out in the blast. I wish I could tell you about the colours of my surroundings, but my eyes aren’t quite working correctly anymore. At least I still know what colour it is outside, the same deep gray it’s been for some months now. When I first laid here I thought I could feel the icy tile floor, but I guess that’s faded now too. All of the sudden I begin to cough profusely and my throat feels ablaze. Ash begins to spew all over the floor in front of me, staining it so dark even I can tell the difference. Even though the pain is suffocating, I long to ruminate about my beloved.

I reach into the pocket of my trench coat and pull out the final reminder of my love. A small heart shaped locket the size of a quarter with an immaculately etched cursive E adorning it. Emma gave it to me on our third anniversary, and I promised her I’d cherish it forever. I pop the small latch on it's side and it slides open. Inside is a picture of us from brighter times as we embrace in a meadow. Her hair was luscious and dark as the night sky, and her smile was absolutely enchanting. We used to be a picture perfect couple, nothing could’ve broken us apart. At least nothing I could’ve ever imagined at the time.

I met her in a diner much like the one I find myself in now. She had an adorable apron on and her hair was held up by a scarf. The way she gaily pranced around to each table, delivering them delicious treats and refreshments, was quite mesmerizing. Entranced is the only word I can use to describe the feeling as my eyes fell upon her. When she delivered me my root beer float, I called on her. I’m not the most handsome fellow, but I guess something about me intrigued her. That’s when she first blessed me with her smile. We went on many romantic escapades together before marrying in ‘79 when we were both just twenty. Our relationship was next to perfection and we had even been trying for a little one, for someone to join us on our adventures. Sadly we were never able to enjoy the fruits of our labor. May 11th, 1984. That’s when the bombs hit.

Tensions were rising between the US and Russia as the Cold War ceased being “Cold.” Both countries deliberately attacked each other and us citizens were caught in the crossfire. A year before full war broke out, Emma and I had moved into a quaint little yellow home in a suburb of Illinois called Crystal Creek. I began working for a real estate firm and Emma aided me while taking care of our home. She enjoyed the arrangement as it allowed her more time for her true passion, painting. Our home was covered in awe inspiring pieces created by a true visionary, my beautiful wife.

Although we were content with our lives together, conflict can shatter the bonds that hold people together. Whether that is their own conflict, or the conflict of others. Russia dropped the first nuclear warhead on California, destroying most of the state and part of Nevada and Arizona. The U.S. fired back with a nuke of their own and it spiraled out of control until one day the Illinois electrical grid went out. I still vividly remember the evening it happened. Emma and I were huddled together watching the news while the caster was talking about the death toll. His words before the power cut were.

“43 Million.”

We almost couldn’t believe our ears, and moments later we were plunged into complete darkness. Emma and I held each other and wept as we thought that it was the end, and for her it basically was. Considering the ash would drench our world in an ugly gray soon after, and she would be one of its victims.

I stocked up on some supplies just in case a scenario like this would happen. Emma always used to call me paranoid, but I’ve always been the type of man to take precautions. I guess that was a weakness in our relationship. Emma was always so carefree, she had an aura of innocence and curiosity that was not found in most people our age. I, on the other hand, was always by the books, the “always wear a helmet” kind of guy. I guess opposites really do attract.

Once morning time came, many of my neighbors exited their homes and began conversing with one another. My darling and I decided to join them for a moment but the sky seemed to be too gray for such a pretty summer morning, it gave me an awfully unusual sense of alarm. It took some convincing but eventually I persuaded Emma to come inside. I headed to our basement and dug up my old survival kit equipped with two gas masks, enough canned food to last us for at least half a year, and other supplies such as medicine. I began to barricade our home much to Emma’s dismay. She thought I was overreacting considering it had only been a power outage. I didn’t know how to explain it, I still don’t, but I just had a terrible feeling of what was to come.

As I was securing one of my front windows I saw some of my neighbors beginning to look up outside. Everyone became alerted to a presence that I hadn’t yet seen. I tried to peek upwards and what I saw chilled me to the bone. The entire sky was blanketed by a layer of ash quickly descending onto our peaceful suburb. It looked like a black snow without any clouds. Everyone began to freak out and their peaceful demeanor turned into panic. Total mayhem broke out as some ran inside of their homes, and others were too shocked to move. Many found themselves pushing past and trampling one another to get to what they thought was safety. It was pure chaos.

Even in the immediate state of hysteria that I found my terrified mind in, I forced myself to think quickly and get the masks in my survival kit. I turned around to see Emma walking towards me in a state of confusion.

“I heard screaming, what's going on dear?” She tried to look past me to the street.

Before she could see what was going on I roughly grabbed her hand and began to drag her towards the basement, not even looking at her.

“What are you doing William, tell me what’s happening!” She began to try, and fail, to get out of my tight grip.

I turned to look at her and immediately after seeing the fear in my eyes she followed without me even having to say another word. I handed her one of the gas masks from the survival kit and told her to put it on.

“Grab every towel or blanket in this house and stuff it into the cracks of doorways and make sure every window is shut!” I demanded, probably in a harsher tone than I should have.

We rushed around the house making sure every nook and cranny was covered and we watched through the front window. Nobody was outside anymore, and all we could do was see what would come next. The ashes slowly began to hit the ground one after another. Then the intensity picked up as our window was slowly covered by the ashes. Luckily though, none of it was able to get inside our home. I don’t know how much time passed but after what I could perceive as a few days we decided to go outside and see what was going on. We covered ourselves with bulky clothing and slid the masks over our heads. I made sure our skin was completely shielded and opened the front door.

Outside the ground was completely covered in ash and its particles were floating throughout the air in front of us. Everything was coated the same disgusting gray, even our once lovely yellow walls. I held Emma close as we headed over to one of our neighbors' homes crunching through the ash on the ground as we went. The house we arrived at was directly across the street and lived in by a close friend of Emma’s. When we reached the front door it was slightly ajar and I tried to push it open, but something was blocking the door.

“Emma, can you help me with the door?” She walked over to the door and set her body weight against it. On the count of three we gave it all of our might and the door finally budged. It swung open and once we realized what was on the other side of the door Emma shrieked. I grabbed her and tucked her masked face into my chest. Inside was a body with their veins turned completely black. It seemed to be the body of a man, probably Emma’s friend's lover. After observing the horrid sight, we quickly turned around and headed back to our home. Once inside I took my mask off and took a deep breath. When Emma took her mask off I could see the tears swelling up in her eyes.

We stayed inside from then on, and we tried to preserve what little food we had. The isolation began to drive Emma mad, as she had always been such a social butterfly. We got into fights more often and one night she told me she was leaving. I begged her to stay but without even acknowledging me she walked through the front door and slammed it shut. She left without her mask.

I couldn’t bear to go outside no matter how much I loved her. At night I dreamed she would come back and we could keep going, though I knew deep down what had happened to her. The same thing that had happened to that poor man. Eventually, my rations were running low and I decided to set off into the wasteland, but that place is unsurvivable. After only a few miles of walking I tripped on a rock hidden under the ash. My face smashed into the hard pavement below and the rubber of my mask ripped open, leaving me vulnerable to all of the particles in the air.

I don’t know how, but now I’m tucked away under this table. Maybe I wandered in here and forgot about it. I’ve been doing that a lot over the past two days. When I look down at my arms it seems as if someone injected me with tar. My mind begins to wander, looking for something to latch onto, after a while I look back into my hand.

“When did I get this locket?” I think to myself as I slide open the latch on the side to see a smiling couple hugging each other.

“They look so happy together,” I force the words slowly out of my lungs before laying my head on the floor.

Oh, It seems someone has wandered into the diner. I can faintly see them making their way towards me. It looks like the woman from the photo. She is beckoning for me, but It seems I can’t move. My eyes feel so heavy, I don’t know if I can hold them open much longer. The woman begins to fade, and so do my surroundings. Now there is nothing but darkness. When I eventually open my eyes I’m in a sunny meadow and in the distance I can see a quaint yellow house.