Ashen Dystopia

It was all she had left. The one solitary reminder that life had not always been this way. Something solid to hold on to. She knew had this one piece of herself not survived, she could easily question her entire previous existence. After all, no one talked about it anymore. The ashen and dark world before her had swallowed the memory of any previous way of life. It was that sadness and depression that swallowed more survivors than the explosion itself. She held tight though; she knew that is what they would have wanted. She could not give up, not yet. So, with vigor and strength, she rose from the ashes surrounding her makeshift camp and clasped the delicate chain securely around her neck. The heart shaped locket bounced softly against her chest with each determined step. Like a small heartbeat, it gave her the hope to move on. If this small symbol of her mother could survive maybe her brother was still alive too.

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Phoenix took in her surroundings with hooded eyes. The sun was brighter than she remembered. She never slept this late though and especially not in the open. Grief had unfortunately stricken her immobile. Why had she been so naïve? To place so much hope that her parents had survived and then find this… She had been walking for about two weeks she figured. Only stopping when she found food or was too exhausted to take another step. Who would have thought all the complaining she had done about the time it took to drive home to Virginia from Massachusetts she would be walking it one day?

Even though she found her former childhood home destroyed, and her parents’ dead she still felt a weird since of accomplishment. After all, the nuclear war had ended just one short year before. It had taken her that long just to gather the scarce food available and heal from her injuries to make this trip. Now she was here, and they were gone. She sat up in the middle of the rubble from her former home trying to take it in. She had found her mothers locket. It was an impossibly difficult sight to see. Phoenix could barely unclasp the necklace with shaking hands and watering eyes. She built up the strength to dig a shallow hole behind their home and place her parents inside. She covered them softly and fell asleep next to their makeshift grave. Now it was time for a new destination. This was the most difficult thing she had to do yet. Now she knew, there was no hope or guessing, no more maybes, she knew.

Opening her pack, Phoenix pulled the road map from her bag. She had found the map in a small truck stop just out of Massachusetts. It was a small beacon of hope for her when her journey began, after all it had been the first semi-standing building she had seen. This was when she finally gave up trying to find fuel too. The only standing gas station in hundreds of miles and still no fuel in any tank. The government sure had left no stone unturned. About two years before the nuclear war, they had halted all trade and the fuel was gone within six months. It hit out of nowhere. Within the next three months the United States was a dictatorship, and the mobilized armies prevented any travel. I would have been here, here with my family, she thought.

In another six months people were fighting for food in the streets, no communication was permitted. Cell towers destroyed, internet non-existent, all alone. Then, it finally happened. The first nuclear war head was said to have hit in the middle of Texas, but that was a rumor as far as anyone knew. Scrambling ensued and only a few survived. In reality, it did not matter where it started. Once the first bomb was launched, so were the rest. Bombs killed some, radiation killed others, and other still were taken by grief. Phoenix did not have that luxury. She bandaged herself up, recovered, survived. Investing most of her time tending to a mobile garden which had made the long trip to Virginia as well, she ensured she would have a steady food supply. As Phoenix looked upon her small accomplishment, she still did not understand how or why she survived, but she knew what was next. Rolling her cart back onto the road, she began her walk to North Carolina.

Having already covered over five hundred miles from Harvard to home, she hoped the journey to Duke would be a little easier. She had to know if her brother had survived. While she feared his fate would be the same as her parents, she could not spend her life wondering. It had been almost two years since they had spoken, and Phoenix toyed with the fear that he could be miles away from North Carolina. It was, however, her only lead. She had left a note in a plastic bag nailed to a small board she found to mark her parents’ resting place. With any luck, if her brother was alive, maybe he would find it. She could not think of another place he would go, but she remembered the treacherous year of recovery she had endured to be physically able to walk over five hundred miles. Perhaps he had suffered similarly, or not at all. Could he be one of the casualties to grief? All of this floated through her mind as she trudged along.

A week of walking had finally led her where she needed to be. She could see the University on the horizon. About 2 miles south of that she would find her brother’s apartment, or at least where it should be. The closer she walked to Duke the more the destruction unfolded. Like most everywhere, the buildings were destroyed, rubble and chaos enveloped the campus. It was almost eerie, the way the chapel still towered over the grounds. The lone building untouched, served as a sad beacon. Like a lighthouse that could not save the boats coming in to harbor. She walked past the campus slowly. Knowing she would be approaching his home before sundown. With each block behind her, the shiver in her spine grew stronger. She would count down the blocks out loud. One house standing, ten houses destroyed, one house standing, twenty houses destroyed. Then, when she had but one block left, she stopped.

Phoenix sat on the cool pavement breathing slowly. How many times had they driven down this street? She fondly remembered riding with her parents to drop Charlie off when he first began at Duke, what seemed like a century ago. He had been late to his own check-in just two short years later after insisting he get to make the same trip with the family to drop her off at Harvard. With that happy memory held firmly in her mind, Phoenix pushed up off the sidewalk and walked one more block. When she rounded the corner on Charlie’s street her fears were realized. The apartment complex he had been living in was leveled. In fact, the whole street looked like it had not seen life in months. She pulled her cart slowly, approaching the building with trepidation and sadness. She felt herself reaching for her mother’s heart shaped locket for comfort. As she carefully climbed through the rubble as she had done just a week before to find her parents, Phoenix analyzed every piece. She was looking intently for any remnant of her brother.

All night, she had spent all night sifting through rubble in the dark. It led to nothing. She could not find a single shred of proof that her brother had been here. She began to spiral quickly. Why did she survive the fight for food, the bombs, the radiation? Why did she survive everything to be alone? Even though the sun was coming up, she was so exhausted that she found herself dozing off. She made a small pallet next to her cart and decided to take a nap. I will decide what is next when I wake, she thought.

Phoenix awoke with a start. The light was bright and blinding. She tried to gather her surroundings, but she was unable to move. Combating the light, she squinted one eye open carefully. A familiar face reached out a hand, but she could not place him. She slowly blinked her other eye open to take him in. Shaggy brown hair and that goofy grin. “Charlie!” she screamed. She had found him. Joy washed over her as she realized that all her efforts were not in vain. Phoenix reached out her hand to take his. He was warm, he felt like home. As he pulled her gently, she felt no weight behind his grasp. Despite this weightlessness, she rose from the ground. Puzzled, she looked to Charlie for answers. He had turned from her and was waving her to follow. She got up slowly to trail behind him just like when they were kids. That is when she saw them, at the end of the path eagerly awaiting her. Phoenix smiled; she knew she had found what she was looking for. I am ready, she thought. Charlie led the way and they rushed into their parents’ arms.