Ash

(Image is AI Generated.)

No sound, and even though Jack’s eyes are closed, he knows wherever he is, it’s very bright. Forcing his eyelids open with more energy than he had ever used before to do such a task, he brings up an arm to shield himself from a light that most surely wasn’t artificial but was at the same time—as if the light was coming from all around him but nowhere at the same time.

He tries to speak but finds that no words escape him. Slowly, he sits up and looks around to get his bearings. Wherever he is, he’s never seen anything like it before. There appears to be an expansive stretch of nothingness before him—a long and vast whiteness. He is sure this is a dream; this feeling of unrelenting sadness gripping him deep down in the pit of his stomach is just a nightmare that has yet to reveal the punchline.

*Where am I?* he thought as he stood up. It took a lot of energy to accomplish this task; his bones and joints felt sluggish and clumsy. Once he manages to get to his feet, he becomes dizzy to the point where he has to put his hands on his knees and bend over for a minute to let it subside. Squinting through half-closed eyes, he tries to look around again. Though the light is still very bright, it has abated slightly, and he can finally stand up straight again. He rubs a hand over his eyes. He tries to call out again, but the words still wouldn’t come.

“There is no use trying to speak,” a woman’s voice comes from behind him, seemingly out of the nothingness—a very familiar voice. He slowly turns around and is sure that this is a dream. The sight of her makes his heart drop, stop, and melt all at the same time. He can’t remember her name, but he knows that he had known this girl very well—knowing every inch of her body and most of her personality. She just smiles sadly and takes a step forward, moving with a grace and sadness that brings a breaking dread to Jack. He squints as he watches her move about as if she were gliding along the floor that wasn’t there.

*This is a dream?* he thinks to himself and isn’t very surprised to hear her speak again.

“In a way, it is. In a way, it is not.” she says.

*Where are we?* He thinks.

“We are everywhere, and nowhere at the same time. We are together again, but apart forever.” She smiles and steps closer. Suddenly, he doesn’t want her to come any closer, and he feels tears forming in his eyes.

*What do you mean?* The thought is automatic.

“Is it too bright here? Your eyes haven’t adjusted yet. It will take some time.” She merely smiles. As she glances around, the air around him seems to shift and change. He finds himself standing in the middle of an old bar. Four pool tables are off to the right, and a bar sits in the middle. The girl is now behind the bar.

“Do you remember this place?” She asks.

Jack looks around the room. It is empty aside from them. He nods slowly. *It’s where we met. But I can’t remember your name. After all these years, I’ve known you. I’m sorry.*

She just smiles sadly again. “That is not important. My name is no longer a part of your memory.” She moves around the bar and pours a double of whiskey. “This was your favorite, wasn’t it?”

Jack instantly feels something churn in his stomach, and he shuts his eyes for an instant. He hears a sort of siren blaring, then opens them again. The room has changed once more. They are in his apartment lying in bed. Her head rests on his chest, her short hair brushed away from her upturned face.

“This is where we spent our first night together,” she smiles, and he feels like crying even more.

*I remember you saying that we had to do this or we’d never know if it was worth it.* he thinks.

“Was it worth it?” she asks, tilting her body so she can lean on her elbow and look down at him.

*Every single second of it.* He feels a burning behind his eyelids as he shuts his eyes tight to fight back tears. But the siren. He opens them again trying to avoid that sound.

She sighs, and he feels her cool hand intertwine with his. “I need to tell you something, Jack.”

*I know. This isn’t a dream…* He feels the tears now; they have been escaping the corners of his eyes for who knows how long. *What happened? Where are we?*

“You are dying. People say that your life flashes before your eyes before you die…” Her voice is growing distant. Jack squeezes his arms around her, holding her close, desperate not to let go of her.

*Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me!* He thinks.

The sirens grow stronger now, piercing the walls of his subconscious. “You have to make a choice,” she says, her voice becoming more muffled. “I hate to give you such a cliche ultimatum, but you have a choice to make.”

Jack nods his head; the room around him swims and ripples, as if melding the moldy ceiling of his apartment with a starry night sky. “Stay here with me. Or go back.” Her voice comes in a little stronger now.

*What happened? Where’s back? Why aren’t you there?* He tries hard to remember but can’t.

“Do I really have to say it?” She sits up fully and looks down at him. The sadness in her eyes and the way she smiles soothingly breaks something inside him all over again. He reaches a hand up, running a thumb along her jawline as he sits up too.

“I can’t tell you what to do. But please, go back.” she says.

And with that, he knows what he has to do. He brings both hands up to hold her face gently and pulls her in, close to him until their noses touch.

And finally, he finds his voice. “There is no life for me without you.” He smiles softly, hoping she understands the depth of his feelings.

She frowns for a moment, scrunching her nose. “Are you sure?” her tone filled with uncertainty.

He smiles wider, the warmth of his memories flooding back. “From the moment I saw you, Ash...”

The atmosphere shifts unexpectedly. The ambulance rumbles along the lonely stretch of Arizona highway, the coroner’s van trailing behind it.

“Jimmy, turn off the siren… We’ve lost him,” a paramedic says solemnly, pausing to check the time on his watch. He then removes his rubber gloves and sits up, the weight of his actions apparent on his features.

“CPR was unsuccessful. We can’t work him back up.” As that reality encroaches on Jack's world, he locks eyes with Ash one last time.