Am I the asshole for dating a guy with a girlfriend?

Am I the asshole because I don’t mind dating men who have a girlfriend or wife?

My friends sometimes act a bit judgmental if they hear I hooked up with a man that is already ‘taken,’ so to speak. By now they know better than to try and talk me out of it, but I still notice that if the fact comes up in conversation, they will get visibly uncomfortable. Like this is a vice of mine they have to tolerate. But I think that the burden of being faithful or not to someone should fall to the men themselves. If I’m not looking for something serious or want a casual hook up, ‘taken’ guys are perfect! They already have a relationship they have to go back to, and they won’t get clingy. They are more than happy avoiding you and being avoided by you, and this makes for a very clean parting of ways.

Plus, I have no idea what’s going on in their relationship. I don’t know why they are cheating, or even if they are cheating. Maybe they have an open relationship or an arrangement? It’s none of my business. I don’t force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do in the first place, and I’m not the one that made promises to those women. Sure, I can understand if, even with all that, they still get upset at me if they find out. I don’t think they should, but I can understand. But now, why would other people judge me for it? Am I a homewrecker because I don’t care?

This other night I went into a bar, a typical hang of mine, and I found this guy drinking alone and sad. I struck a conversation and found out that his girlfriend had stood him up, ditched him to stay late at work. The guy was cute, and he seemed sad, and I felt some chemistry between us, so I just went and let him know I was up for some fun if he was. Now, if he had said, “No, I’m already seeing someone,” then I’d just respect it and wouldn’t even take it badly. But he didn’t say that. He just seemed happy some girl was paying him attention. We ended up hooking up in the alley beside the bar. Some making out and a quickie against the wall and then we were both on our ways. Now, if someone was to say he did something bad, I’d wholeheartedly agree. But am I a bad person too just for being a part of it? I don’t owe anything to his girlfriend. He does. But my friends seem to disagree. What do y'all think?

About The White Rabbit: A couple hesitatingly goes with their new ‘cool’ friends to a club, only to find out it’s a fetish club. Seduced by the exhilarating atmosphere, they eventually decide to explore new avenues of their sexuality.

Chapter One Snippet

John and Mary met Derek and Jane, who are in an open relationship and very adventurous; John and Mary not so much. They talk John and Mary into visiting the White Rabbit, a low-key fetish/sex club. Although uncomfortable at first, on noticing the atmosphere, the couple grows excited, and they end up experimenting with ‘public’ sex in one of the clubrooms.

The car pulled up, and Mary wondered just what they had gotten themselves into. There were mentions of a club, but she saw no sign of it. One would almost think they were at the wrong street if Jane and Derek weren’t so confident this was the place. She looked at John, who seemed calm on the surface, but she knew how to read him, and she took a small measure of comfort in knowing that at least she wasn’t the only one nervous about this. Like her boyfriend, Mary decided to smile and act chill about the place they were about to explore.