Ali Baba and the forty thieves

"Thievery and thieving are wonderful works, robbing those rich fat merchants at nights is glorious". The first thief laughed heartily, thumping his mug of beer down on the old wooden table, froth flying everywhere.

"Here, here". His brothers in crime agreed, sipping and thumping, whooping and hollering, while wiping beer drool from their beards and guffawing loudly. They had stolen the whole beer keg from the nearby tavern.

The men laughed and boasted about how many they had robbed, killed and stolen their riches. They were bad men.

They thought that they were very safe in their rather large, broken down, yet not so unattractive house planning their next evil escapade, quite unaware that snooping eyes and ears lurked nearby.

Ali Baba, hearing the noise inside, had stopped and looked around rather furtively, to make sure that no one was observing him, then silently crept up to eavesdrop at the window. He happened to overhear the group of 40 thieves boasting and planning to go visiting their stored treasure. Their treasure is in a cave, the mouth of which is sealed by a huge rock. It opens on the magic words "open sesame" and seals itself on the words "close sesame", the head thief informed the others. Ali hid himself and decided to follow them at a safe distance. He only hoped that his old trusty nag could keep up.

His father, a merchant, had just died, Ali Baba's greedy brother had married rich and inherited money and position. He had married a beautiful kind woman and was poor but happy, yet his job as a woodcutter did not pay much. He sure could use some extra money to buy a nicer home for his wife and soon to arrive child. Why not go check on the cave when the thieves had gone thieving, Ali Baba thought to himself.

He managed to follow them undetected, and that night he hid in the bushes and watched the thieves ride away. Ali crept stealthily to the door to the cave, again looking around to make sure no one was observing him.

"Open Sesame". He said, almost whispering. The door to the cave rolled open and he entered quickly, walking gingerly and almost tiptoeing inside.

"Close Sesame". He certainly didn't want anyone to pass by and see him, many more thieves were always up and about.

Ali Baba entered the cave and was dumbstruck at the sheer volume of loot that the robbers had accumulated. Not being a greedy man, he took only a few bags of gold, opened the cave, closed it and hastened home. When his wife Rajan saw the gold and heard the story, she asked why he had only taken a few bags of gold.

"Why, wife, these bags of gold alone could last us a long time, the thieves may not miss one or two bags, but surely they will miss more. I can always go back at another time and get more".

Rajan agreed, but secretly she wished her brothers could share in their good fortune. She grabbed her cellphone and called her oldest brother Rami. Rami jumped onto his horse and went straight to the pub to celebrate and wait until night. Not being able to hold his liquor, and being too excited, he spilled the beans to his three drinking partners. When time came to leave, they wobbled and teetered so much, they realized that they could not drink and ride, so they grabbed two bottles of wine when the bartender wasn't looking and staggered away to the cave.

Luckily for them, the thieves had just left for their night of thieving. They each took a swig from the bottles while trying to say the magic word.

"Oven Shsamin". Nothing.

"Open Shazamin, wazisitagin Rami".

Rami shot a spit onto the ground, squared his shoulder as much as he could muster and yelled....

"Oven, open Shesami, open Sesame". Miraculously, the stone door rolled away. They all cheered drunkenly and staggered inside.

"Close up Seshame, close the door Sesame old pal, close Seshame". The door closed itself, probably just fed up with the distortion of its name.

They were shocked, never having seen so much wealth in their lives, they each filled two bags and finished the wine to celebrate. Now everyone became so intoxicated, the words to escape the cave could not be pronounced, no matter how hard they tried, the door was not having it. Finally giving up, they all snuggled by the treasure and went drunkenly to sleep.

The thieves returned to find them fast asleep, woke them up and after getting them to confess and give up Ali Baba's name and address, they promptly hanged them from four trees outside the cave. They took Rami's and everyone's phone for good measure. When his sister phoned to find out why he was taking so long, the head thief answered and told her to bring the horse and some large bags. She asked why he sounded so funny, he said he had been drinking and was kind of tipsy. Ok she said, that would explain it. Rajan waited until Ali was fast asleep and slipped out of the house.

Rajan climbed upon a chair, hoisted herself sideways upon the horse and rode carefully to the cave, she got lost a few times, but eventually found her way there. The thieves opened the cave and hauled her inside. Rajan had seen the hanged men outside, she bawled and begged for her life. They had her call Ali Baba and get him to the cave. He hurried over to save his wife, extremely mad that she had betrayed him and given away the secret, now they both, along with their first child, may die a horrible death.

However, when they asked him how much gold he had taken, and his answer corresponded with Rajan's, they thought him an honorable thief and asked him to join their band of merry thievers so he cold spend a lot more time thieving. At first he was very reluctant, but he looked at his terrified wife and agreed to join them. They made him go out with them for a whole month, every night, for free, so he could pay back what he owed them. Ali Baba was miserable. So his wife came up with a plan.

Rajan called the leader of the thieves and told then of a magician who had gotten his powers from a powerful genie, and could turn earthenware jars into golden jars filled with gold. If each of them brought a jar to her house, they could all leave with a jar of gold every day, in addition to what they already stole at nights. They could each own their own businesses and become rich and powerful men.

The leader questioned them as to why they were not rich if such was the case. They were only just able to pay for his services with the gold that Ali Baba had stolen in the first place, luckily, they had not spent it yet, he was told.

The robbers agreed to bring the jars, but first they needed to see the proof for themselves.

Rajan agreed. She and Ali stole into the cave, stole enough gold to fill a large jar with gold, dressed up Ali as a magician, and invited them over. The thieves thought that Ali Baba was at work. The greedy robbers did not suspect a thing, when Ali gestured and removed the fake top from the jar, lo and behold a jar full of gold. The robbers rubbed their hands in glee. They agreed to each bring a jar the next night, when Rajan would cook a feast for them.

They were told that their jars had to be made of stainless steel types 304 and 316 for the magic to work.

"Where would we get such a thing". The head thief asked, rather skeptical of such a request.

Rajan told them exactly where to buy these jars. Someone had just invented stainless steel containers.

A great feast was cooked by Rajan and her trusted maid Daru, although she only knew that there was to be a feast and nothing about the treasure. She paid Daru handsomely for helping, telling her she had a new job working for some very rich patrons. Daru was sent home and Rajan poisoned all the food and served the thieves great big helpings. Two plates were heaped for herself and Ali Baba, which she had kept separate, and they ate heartily to avert suspicion.

When the thieves finished eating, they all played a game of hiding in the jars, with Rajan promising them a great surprise for each of them. When they got in the jars, after a few minutes had passed, they all keeled over dead. Ali Baba poured caustic acid onto their bodies, melting them down to a stew. The stench was terrible indeed. It made poor Rajan puke a lot, even though she was far away from the jars, she had to take to her bed. Dead animal, they told their neighbors.

A great hole had been dug in the backyard and filled with stones, Ali Baba dumped the people stew over the stones and filled it in. He washed and sold the jars in his new business establishment. Rajan sprinkled sunflower seeds over the bodies of the robbers and now there is a lovely patch of beautiful sunflowers in the backyard. They put a fence around it, not wanting the baby to play with the blooms of death.

Ali Baba and Rajan built a thriving business and also built themselves a lovely mansion. In the cellar of their old house is a great hiding place for some of the treasure, word was spread that it was haunted, so no one ever ventured there. They figured that two treasure troves were better than one, just in case someone discovered their cave. Better safe than sorry. There was enough treasure in the cave to last them and their children a couple of lifetimes. The sunflower garden flourished beautifully.

No one found their secret in their lifetime, and their children were much smarter than they were. So they are confident that it will remain that way.

Yes, cellphones and stainless steel were invented back in the days of Ali Baba! What with all the riches, it really happened. 🥰

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