After I got married, my ex-girlfriend wanted me back, so I met her without telling my wife

I and Xiaojing (alias) from the middle school is deskmate, at that time, can not help but good to her, she often give me to share her snacks. We never had a formal confession, but to the outside world, we were a couple. In high school, although we were not in the same class, we would still get together and "whisper" during breaks. After the college entrance examination, we went to different universities in the same city, and we met twice a week.

I always thought that we would get married after graduating from college. In fact, after graduating from college, we both returned to the city of growth and struggle. Just work the next year, Xiaojing asked me to break up. Xiaojing's reason for breaking up with her was that she did not want to live a miserable life with me because of my poor family. She told me that she would pursue me when you were able to buy a house. In fact, less than a year after we broke up, she became someone else's bride.

Now I have an apartment of my own and have married another girl.

Originally thought, there will be no intersection between me and Xiaojing, but a few days ago received xiaojing's message: I divorced, can you come to accompany me? My reply: Where are you? After she sent me the address, I lied to my wife while lying down: A friend of mine had an emergency at her house and I needed to go out. Wife: hurriedly go, have need me to help of, remember to call. When I met Xiaojing, she expressed her regret for missing me and begged me to divorce my wife and start over with her. I admit, I still love Xiaojing, but I have a responsibility to my wife and children. That night, we talked until three or four, and found her a hotel to stay in, and I went home. Xiaojing asked me to accompany her, but I refused. When I got home, INSTEAD of going back to my bedroom, I lay down on the sofa alone. The next day, the wife asked me: your friend is all right? Me: Nothing.

Xiaojing is the past that I can never go back. As an ex, I sincerely wish her a happy life in the future. What can I do for her?

Your ex-girlfriend is just divorced now, and all she's missing is love and you're not getting a divorce for her, so, in this situation, there's nothing you can do for her. What you need to do: Make it clear that your relationship with her is past, you love your wife and children, you would not leave your wife and children for any woman. Your love for your ex-girlfriend, because of a long time of precipitation, but she abandoned you; Her present pain was the result of her abandoning love and marrying material things, and she bore her own retribution. Look at it another way: if she's happily married, will she still think about you? Your ex-girlfriend broke up with you in the first place, and she should pay for her decision now.

Logically, your ex-girlfriend shouldn't even want you back after the divorce, since you already have a wife and kids. But people do it all the time: they get used to being safe in front of people who like them. You've done a great job of saying yes to a date with your ex-girlfriend and refusing to readjust her: she's someone you truly loved, you can comfort her when she's feeling down, but you've also drawn the line. In the future life, your ex-girlfriend may still disturb you, in the case of your wife does not know, you can give your ex-girlfriend verbal comfort, as for meeting, or forget it.

In fact, in the case of marriage shouldn't involve in the others, how to select and people have the right to marry, even if one day to his original decided to regret it, don't in the case of the former has a family, get away with thinking to eat grass back, don't tube finally oneself can succeed, then you are in the invisible damage of former legal lover. Putting yourself in the shoes of your partner's legitimate lover is green tea. In addition, adults also need to consider morality, conscience, responsibility and obligation when pursuing love. Especially after marriage, love needs to be restrained, rather than arbitrary love.

For men, when they get married, they can't marry the woman they most want to marry is indeed a pity, perhaps they just will marry their wife, but it is also justified, at least the legal lover is the best choice when they get married. As an adult, you have to be responsible for your choices, because your head is in your head, and you have to bear all the consequences of your decisions. After all, no one is holding a knife to force you to make decisions. It means, by the time you married your wife, you were already passively moving on with your ex-girlfriend. For the rest of your life, it's the least you can do to respect your wife by having less contact with your ex-girlfriend and not crossing the line.

What you are not reconciled to now is still in the commotion, even if you are now to your former girlfriend to give a dig and no comfort, I feel beyond reproach. It must have taken you a long time to heal yourself after she left you for her ex-husband, and now that you have your own house, why should she enjoy the benefits? As the saying goes: When the former cries, the incumbent loses. I want you to remember the humiliation your ex-girlfriend gave you, and not let your wife do the worse things that happened to you.

Look at your past with your ex-girlfriend from a different Angle: She used her selfishness to push you away because you loved her. Now, what qualifies her to let you back in? Another thing you need to understand is that a sense of boundaries is the least you can do to respect your wife and children. You've been giving your ex-girlfriend hours of comfort and companionship during her divorce. In the future, let her heal in the waste of time alone, you are at best in this special period of time to be her emotional trash can, do not use her invite you to meet you do not refuse the attitude, and eventually form her to you.

Editorial:

Feelings belong to a more wonderful chemical reaction, sometimes clearly know someone is not much good, but you are willing to protect this person to disappoint the world; Some relationships start with a meeting or a hug, including an affair. Common phenomenon: many people are just satisfied with the appearance of the net friend, and the other party to become a friend to chat, but after meeting, let this relationship become out of control.

As a person, never overestimate your self-control. For some unreliable feelings, you should nip them in the bud from the very beginning. There is no need for philanthropists in the field of love, especially after marriage, where kindness to anyone of the opposite sex outside marriage is an injury to the legitimate lover. Therefore, in the face of the marriage of the opposite sex, we need to use a restrained attitude to deal with.