Active Shooter on Campus

The young man was sitting at his computer at class in his university, doing course work, when he thought he heard shots. He left the room and ran down the hallway to the wall phones. He dialed 9-1-1.

"What is your emergency?" a female voice asked him.

"I hear an active shooter on campus!" he said with alarm.

"What university?" she asked.

"Can't you trace my call and just send help?"

"I need to know your address, please, sir. Quickly, if you can."

"I don't know the address..." he confessed, trailing off...

"You don't know where you are?"

"Oh, I do, a terrible place, very unpleasant conditions, with terrible people. I'm scared."

"The gunshots? Do you still hear them? Oh — wait! Sir, are those sirens I hear?"

"Yea, sirens! It's wild outside here. Is that help you sent me?"

"Um... no sir, I haven't even relayed your report yet. I don't know where to send help. So, I'm very confused about what I'm hearing in the background. Wow, that's a lot of sirens."

"What did you say? I can't hear you because of all the sirens."

"Yes, yes," she sad. "Do you think you're safe? Are you in any danger?"

"What do you think! Of course I'm in danger, bitch!"

"Sir... really... I'm just trying to help." She paused. Then she said, "Y0u do know you're on a recorded line, don't you?"

"Of course. All these phones are tapped. They listen to everything at my place."

"At your place? I thought you were at University."

"I was. An active shooter. Don't you hear the sirens?"

"I do, I do." Another pause. "Again, sir, can you tell me in which univeristy you are matriculated?"

"Matricu-what?"

"What the name of your school? The name of your university?"

"I go to the University of Phoenix," he said, whereupon there was a very long pause.

Then, "Sir, is this come kind of —

Suddenly, a recording interrupted them and announced the following:

"This call is from an inmate in a federal prison on a monitored line. If you believe it to be from someone you don't know, please hang up and dial 9-1-1."