Abandoned Wishes Ep2

Dear Archivist,

Bold move taking both pills. We won’t know how the nanobots will interact with each other, but you appear to still be alive and employed. You’ll find a list of regular daily duties stuck to the fridge with a banana magnet. That being said, it is time to start your first inbound neutralization and transcript. Along with this letter you will find a parcel. Listen to the voice recording prior to opening and handle with care.

Yours,

Supervisory Special Agent Wolfram Trinkenschuh

Abandoned Wish Department

Abandoned Wish Road

Pteetneet City

-Begin Recording-

JEFF: Hi Archivist! Hi. Hi, it’s so great to meet you. Well, not meet, you, but it’s nice to say hi to you. Hi!

WOLF: Give me the recorder.

JEFF: Awww.

WOLF: Currently in the town of [AUDIO STATIC] in the southeast corner of [AUDIO STATIC] with a population of 8,269. Enroute to Cuban Street and the Myriad Trailer Park, unit number 11. There has been a report of strange events. Specifically, the death of five little old ladies.

JEFF: (Quietly in the background) One-Two-Three-Four-Five!

WOLF: No more counting today. We’re here.

*Noises of car door opening and closing, feet against gravel, and the standard hum of investigative background. *

WOLF: Are you the witness that called the report in, Aliento?

ALIENTO: Yes, young man. My friends and I meet every Wednesday at 7am for tea and poker.

JEFF: (Quietly in the background) One-Two-Three-Four-Five-Six-Seven!

ALIENTO: I had an appointment with the DMV that morning and wasn’t sure I’d be done in time to make it. I told the girls I would have to sit out this week. Then, what do you know, the DMV finishes with me in no less than 30 minutes!

JEFF: (Quietly in the background) One-Two-Three-Four-Five- *heavy muffled sound*

WOLF: (Quietly under his breath) Shut the fuck up with the counting.

ALIENTO: I hadn’t dealt in for the day, so I was going to take the day off, but then I remembered I had Constance’s teapot. I got back here quick as I could, 8am on the dot. An hour late wasn’t bad, and here they were. All… *sobs begin*

WOLF: I think that’s enough. Maybe one more question, but no, you are free to go ma’am. Time for me to see the dead ladies. Are you far?

ALIENTO: I’m two trailers down, unit number 13.

JEFF: (Quietly in the background) One-Two- *heavy muffled sound*

-End Recording-

-Begin Recording-

WOLF: Alrighty, we are at the site of the incident. The bodies have been removed. The room is, wow, that’s a lot of red velvet. Uh, we have a circular table where four of the victims were found in a row. Oh, go ahead and get it out.

JEFF: One-Two-Three Four!

WOLF: Okay. All four women were found face down holding a cup of tea surrounded by playing cards, knitting needles, piles of cash, throwing stars, gin, and black licorice. If we move into the kitchen, jesus that’s – I didn’t think you could get that many appliances in red – we find the fifth body flat on her back. Must have prepared the tea in the kitchen, brought it to her guests, returned to dispose of the tea bags and generally cleaned up. There are teabags in the trash.

JEFF: One-Two-Three Four-Five-Six!

WOLF: You’re riding back in the glove compartment! It’s not impossible this is simply a coincidence, but Jeff is picking up resonant audio of the potential wish so we can’t rule anything out yet. You sure the object isn’t here. They all drank tea, maybe this little silver teapot?

JEFF: Sorry, Wolf. It’s not here.

-End Recording-

-Begin Recording-

WOLF: Coroner, can you confirm the cause of death?

CORONER: Yes, Wolf. Each of the five women died of sudden onset end-stage emphysema.

WOLF: That’s abnormal?

CORONER: Despite their age, none of these women were smokers or ever worked in a chemical plant. It would be unlikely for one of them to develop through all stages of the disease and succumb within an hour, but all five is damned near impossible.

WOLF: Indeed.

JEFF: INDEED!

-End Recording-

-Begin Recording-

JEFF: Are we almost there?

WOLF: Yes.

JEFF: Where are we going?

WOLF: We have a few more questions for Aliento. Pulling up to her residence now.

*Noises of car door opening and closing. A knock on a door.*

ALIENTO: Mr. Wolf, do come in. Would you like some tea?

*Sounds of water running.*

WOLF: Thank you, Miss Aliento. Please feel free to pour me a cup. Miss Aliento, when was the last time you missed a poker and tea date with your friends?

ALIENTO: I haven’t missed a day in seventeen years, Mr. Wolf. This would’ve been a first.

WOLF: I forgot to wish you a happy St. Cajetan’s Day. Do you celebrate?

ALIENTO: No, I’m allergic to cherries. Blow up like a balloon. Here’s your tea, Mr. Wolf.

WOLF: That’s a shame; the cherry toss was always my favorite part of the celebration, with exception to the gift exchange. I just assumed you would love it, seeing as you gals were serious gamblers. That was a lot of cash on the table. Did you know, the government made it an official state holiday?

ALIENTO: Drink up, Mr. Wolf, before it gets cold.

WOLF: The DMV was closed last Wednesday Aliento.

*Sounds of a chair scraping across linoleum.*

ALIENTO: When did you figure it out?

WOLF: How many teabags were there, Jeff?

JEFF: One-Two-Three-Four-Five-SIX!

WOLF: There were five bodies, but six teabags in the trash. If I am guessing right, you and Constance were making tea in the kitchen. She drank hers first. Boom. Dead. She didn’t know the tea was tainted. Neither of you did, but boom, she’s dead. You, Aliento, owe these ladies a lot of money. You see your way out. You serve up four more cups and: cheers, ladies! You clean up, you dump your tea, you call the police.

ALIENTO: I owed them so much money, Mr. Wolf. You caught me. I’ll go with you willingly. I only have one request. Please, just enjoy this last cup of tea with me before you arrest me.

WOLF: Constance’s teapot was red.

ALIENTO: Excuse me?

WOLF: Constance loved red. She had one of everything in red, including a teapot. You couldn’t leave the murder weapon behind. You took the time to swap the teapots to hide the evidence. Your teapot was silver. If I drink this tea, I’m afraid I’ll die of sudden onset end-stage emphysema.

-End Recording-

-Begin Recording-

WOLF: Jeff, what was the wish attached to the teapot?

JEFF: She wished that her mommy could be happy.

WOLF: Is that all you could hear?

JEFF: Her mommy wanted a gods-damned cigarette.

WOLF: Calling this case closed. Archivist, you are safe to handle this object directly. It will only kill you if you try to make tea. However, it should still be labeled and stored as dangerous. You should never store it in section [AUDIO STATIC] that wouldn’t end well, but even worse than that I would not recommend getting it anywhere near object number [AUDIO STATIC] if you care about your life. Oh, boy, that would not end well at all. Ha! Can you imagine?

JEFF: I can, yeah! HAHA! I can imagine!!

-End Recording-

If you store the teapot in section 53, click here.

If you store the teapot next to object number 37, click here.

If you store the teapot on the stove to wait for clarification, click here.