Abandoned Wishes Ep3

Dear Archivist,

Congratulations on your first successful neutralization. Jeff and I are taking a drive through the mountain roads outside Pteetneet City as I’ve heard rumors of a cake stand in one of the mountain villages that turns written words into reality. We will be unavailable during the drive due to the increase in tunnel roads and overall bad reception. It shouldn’t take us more than one or two days.

Yours,

Supervisory Special Agent Wolfram Trinkenschuh

Abandoned Wish Department

Abandoned Wish Road

Pteetneet City

You’ve reached Supervisory Special Agent Wolfram Trinkenschuh of the Abandoned Wish Department. Please leave your name, contact number, and brief description of the magical object of concern after the beep. If your call is regarding a malfunction with your Radsla brand all-purpose blender you’ve reached a wrong number, please hang up and try your call again.

-Voicemail Left on Wolf’s Phone-

ARCHIVIST: Hi Wolf, It’s [REDACTED] your archivist. I was looking at today’s list of duties and it just says to “clean and organize the Happy Room.” What is the Happy Room? I’ll explore a little through the warehouse, but can you give me a call when you get this? The list of daily duties is usually larger and much more detailed.

-End Voicemail-

-Voicemail Left on Wolf’s Phone-

ARCHIVIST: Hi Wolf, It’s [REDACTED] your archivist. I found a door labaled 167 and in really small letters underneath the number is written “Happy” in, I think, pencil. I am assuming this is the correct room, am I right? When I opened the door its pretty small; it has just a handful of shelves covered in small objects. I’ll have this room cleaned pretty quickly... ummm… Is there something you want me to do when I’m done? Any research you need or anything? Give me a call when you can.

-End Voicemail-

-Voicemail Left on Wolf’s Phone-

ARCHIVIST: Wolf, [REDACTED] here, your archivist. It seems I’ve done something wrong. I found a feather duster in room 167 and figured that’s where I should start. I picked it up and next thing I knew I was standing by a churro vendor at Neverventures Amusement Park.

I left my phone in the office. I’m calling from a payphone outside the bus station. You won’t be able to reach me until I get back; it’s looking like it’s going to be a three-hour bus ride into the city.

-End Voicemail-

-Voicemail Left on Archivist’s Phone-

JEFF: Archivist!! Hi. Wolf asked me to check in on you. Why aren’t you answering your phone? I hope you didn’t have any issues with the chore list I left you. Wolf usually writes those, but he was busy packing for the road trip. Don’t forget that you need gloves for room 167. I’m waiting in the car while Wolf is talking to a man made out of smoke. I miss you. I love you!

*Wolf is yelling in the background. A raspy scream responds to him. Gunfire echoes.*

JEFF: (Whispers) I need to go.

-End Voicemail-

-Voicemail Left on Wolf’s Phone-

ARCHIVIST: Wolf, [REDACTED] here, your archivist. I’m back at the warehouse and I have my phone on me again. That took a big chunk out of the day, but I’ve found the cleaning equipment and got Jeff’s message. I’ll wear gloves going forward, but if you can give me a call back at your first convenience, I want to make sure I clean, umm, accurately. Thank you.

-End Voicemail-

-Voicemail Left on Wolf’s Phone-

ARCHIVIST: Wolf, [REDACTED] again, your archivist. Hey, I was about halfway through wiping down the shelves when a virgin Mary figurine jumped from the shelf. I swear I wasn’t even near the thing. It just leaped at me. I didn’t want it to break and tried to catch it. Long story short, it kind of slipped and brushed against... uh... something. It kind of fell down my entire body.

Next thing I know it’s pitch black and I can hear water running all around me. Professional as I like to feel, I can’t tell you how terrifying this was. I’d really love to get a call when you can. Anyway, I turned on the flashlight on my phone and followed a short stone path until I came upon some red and pink lights. Turns out I was in the middle of the tunnel of love at Neverventures Amusement Park. Thank gods for that adorable lesbian couple who were on their honeymoon. They let me ride back with them to the exit.

I’m headed to the bus station for another ride back. I’ll be another three hours. By the way, I’m not sure if the figurine broke when I dropped it. Can magic objects break?

-End Voicemail-

-Voicemail Left on Archivist’s Phone-

WOLF: Archivist. We should be back first thing in the morning. I listened to your messages and I’m sorry to hear that Jeff didn’t provide all the instructions I had asked him too.

JEFF: Clean the Happy Room!

WOLF: The Happy Room, room 167, is filled with one of the most common wishes. Just like the commercials for Neverventues Amusement Park describe: Everyone Wishes to go to Neverventures! Many sick kids do the same. It’s a common wish and most of these objects will immediately transport you to the park. We call these “Happy Objects” and they shouldn’t be touched. We’ve found that ionization from dust build up on Happy Objects will make them irritable and they can transport themselves inches, feet, or room to room. The Happy Room needs to be cleaned once every month to keep them in place. When we clean the Happy Room we make it an all day event in the instance that you do get transported.

JEFF: Happy! Happy! Happy! Oh, the Happy Room!

WOLF: To answer your question, no, magical objects cannot be broken. Only neutralized. Finish up the room as quickly as you can. We’ll see you in the morning.

-End Voicemail-

-Voicemail Left on Wolf’s Phone-

ARCHIVIST: Wolf, archivist again. I got back to the warehouse and finished cleaning the room. I believe everything is in place. It’s getting late, I’m about to log my hours and then… what’s… hey, did you guys get back here early? There’s a ukelele sitting on my… [AUDIO STATIC]

Oh holy fuckin’ bejeesus. The ukelele was from the Happy Room, wasn’t it? Well, Wolf, I’m back at the gods damned Neverventures Amusement Park. I’m in the teacup ride. Fuckin’ hell, it’s closed. I’m here alone in the dark.

I’m going to try to flag down security or something. I think the bus station is closed. Hey, if you happen to be driving by Neverventures on your way back, could you maybe pick me up?

HOLD TIGHT: MORE ADVENTURES COMING SOON