A young woman's dream...

Waking up and being 34 years old is not exactly a dream you have as a younger woman!

But this life I live is somewhat of a dream...the One I forgot about until it was almost too late.

A few of my friends have similar stories. You know the kind. "Yeah, one day it would be awesome if...." and your life makes all these twists and turns before you have time to check the roadmap. But something along the road I was on, caught up with some Truth I had stashed away in my heart......and became my Reality!

As a 20 year old young woman, who was living the less than desirable 'life of making decision for the first time in a grown up world', it's fair to say I made some mistakes. Actually, those mistakes cost me greatly and I wasn't sure there was a way out of them at times. But there in the midst of my rapid fire breakout into adulthood, I met my husband. Aaron and I share some memories that I'm not certain anyone else from those early days would remember. There were gorgeous city night scenes from atop a hill in downtown, sunsets over the ocean, sunrise in the mountains, and row crops growing in the summer heat near the AR and TX border. My first trip to TX by car proved to be an experience. "Are we there yet?" kept coming to mind!!

In so many ways, God was providing a rescue. For both of us, I might add! I found myself leaving behind many of my bad decisions and waking up for the first time......actually dreaming! Realizing these dreams had a possibility to them. Something of sustenance that would keep the flame from dying. It was during this time that I accepted the reality of God's gift in loving another person. I'm not sure I had ever really loved before. Yes, I loved my family growing up. But not in the giving kind of love that is required in marriage. So....we figured it out one step at a time, and find ourselves happily on the eve of our twelfth anniversary. My, how the time has flown.

In those early years, a simple dream existed. It began when I was nearly sixteen. I wanted to do something with my life that made a difference. I was raised in a Christian home and church family, so I knew all about going down front and rededicating your life to Christ. Lord knows, I did that a million times. But one week, it was different. I felt God calling a specific name over me. It was "counselor". His name is "Counselor" capitalized and with all authority. But I heard Him ask of me, "Laura, will you be a counsel for me?". I responded with Yes. And walked away wondering how, when, why, and where. Over the next few years, prior to meeting A, I did little to explore this commitment. But I knew I had made it.

To make this story a bit shorter....I'll cut to the year 2004. Aaron and I had two of our three children by this point. Emma was born in 1999, and Hannah in 2003. I was a happy stay-at-home mom with little worry over much, and Aaron was working full-time and doing part-time music ministry work. Life was exhausting, but good. And for the first time in our lives, we were working together without one of us pulling the other one along! A few monumental moments happened for me spiritually that year. I was praying one day and a lady in our church spoke some words of affirmation over me that was as if God himself had leaned down and said, "Don't forget who I made you to be". I began teaching ladies Bible Studies and took a position over the nursery ministry. But there was more.

Aaron came home from work one day and said, "Hey babe. I found out that a local school is offering the marriage and family counselor program on Saturdays. I think we aught to pray about this for you." I was shocked. Almost trembling. Seriously? Did God just make a complete WAY for me? Yes. Turns out He did. And is still doing this today. At age sixteen, God called out to me and I heard Him. I committed it before the church and those people prayed for me. Many of them still do to this day. At twenty eight years old, I finally saw with clear perspective my first step! It was one of many, and I am still stepping everyday.

I completed the degree in December of 2006. Will, our third child, was about to hit his first birthday. I decided to forgo an opportunity to begin a private practice in a small local town. I felt like I needed to be at home with the kids. And happily I did! And did! And did! I worked hard at being in the right place at the right time, working my way toward spiritually mature women, seeking counsel, wanting to pursue God's best. And then, I hit depression. Serious depression. Waking in the night unable to breathe and my heart pounding through the roof. I began asking God what was going on. He never said it, but I felt it. "You have forsaken your first love." In so many ways, I just did school. I did my requirements. I got the job done. But I had failed to praise Him through the process.

I turned my efforts towards God. Really, really listening to Him. Asking for accountability and affirmation from godly women. And then one day....the plan landed right in my lap. I may have told the story a hundred times, but it's clearly important to me. Delivering a baby gift to a friend, she says, "Hey Laura, I'm moving. Do you want my office space?". I'm thinking....."Is she crazy?". The more we talked the more I realized it was possible. I called everyone I knew and said, "Can you believe this?" They all said "yes, why can't you?".

Well, friends. I'm almost eight months into the dream. The one that started in 1991. I keep watching God's activity all around me and I'm thinking the whole time...."How much sooner could I have been here?". Not the building, or the practice. But in the plans of God? And maybe I was all along and just didn't recognize it. Or maybe I wasn't, and knew it all along. There was a time in my life that I was so afraid of what ELSE God might say, I even remember asking Him not to tell me anymore. Oh me of Little Faith. I give thanks to my Savior that He still speaks, and He was willing to make His voice loud enough so this stubborn girl could hear.

Sitting in worship this morning I was overwhelmed at one fact. God isn't through with my activity in His plan! The next part may be completely performed in blind Faith! In all honestly, I don't have years to waste! Or to grow up! I'm there. He's here. And we'll see where this next road leads.

Pray for me friends! Pray for Aaron and I. We have some incredible blessings, and some incredible obstacles. God is bigger than both. We trust in His infinite wisdom. And as my pastor stated this morning, "I never want to stand in the way of God's activity"! Friends, may we be found forwarding the activities of God and giving this HOPE as freely as we've received it.

Blessings!