A thousand nights.

My dad had always been reserved.

He used to be cheerful, with lips that never failed to show a smile. I remember those horrible jokes he used to tell; regardless of how bad they were, they always seem to make me crack a smile. He was an introvert at heart who would recharge himself in the tranquillity of the early morning, sipping coffee while his eyes scanned over the news headlines.

This was until she died. That messed him up.

I was only six years old, but my memory doesn't fail to remind me of the details of that day as if it had just happened.

It was my first week of primary school, you know? Everything seemed so bizarre, I couldn't believe that I was with the ''grown-ups'' at last. I remember being unable to enjoy my time at school that day because, well, I missed mom. She worked in a school in Bloomington, which was like a couple of hours away from where we lived. She couldn't afford to go back and forth daily, so mom and dad had reasoned that for the time being, coming back for the weekend would have been the best solution.

Dad came to pick me up after school that day. He was a handsome man, in his late twenties back then, dad was. According to him, he and mom started seeing each other after Beth, one of mom's friends, organized a high school reunion party. They all used to go to the same high school, but they didn't know the existence of one another until the ''notorious party'' as mom called it. As he buckled me in the car, I noticed uncle Randy in the passenger seat. Uncle Randy had always puzzled me. He always looked overly comfortable, his calmness could only be placated by the occasional appearance of the cops, which confused me even more at the time. He had many tattoos that inked his body; they seemed interconnected, creeping from the collar of his shirt and curling around his skinny arms. I once got the chance to ask him about one of them, a large white rose on his bicep. He justified it with a sad smile, saying that it was his first one. He had it done after his wife took the kids and left him alone in his uptown apartment.

During the drive home, we played ''spot the object in the streets''. Dad's car was my favorite place to be in, it was incredibly clean, so clean that his friends would tease him saying that mom forced him to keep it in such a pristine state. Everything was in its place: the few 90s hits CDs in their little shelf, the spare change in a small drawer. If I close my eyes, I can almost imagine myself in there again, the seats too big for me and the smell of humid woods and pines hanging in the air. Usually, on our rides home he would tell me everything about his day at work, he loved seeing admiration in my eyes.

'Daddy?' I had called him. He glanced quickly in my direction, his hazelnut eyes doubters. 'How was your day?' my eyes stopped on the black tattoo on his neck. It was the Greek letter sigma, I recalled, as he explained to me many times before.

'Boring' he yawned, 'How about yours?'

'I-I ate too much candy' I stated guilty.

'Oh Park, you know that mommy doesn't want you to eat too much candy' he sighed. I remember vomiting everywhere for a good twenty minutes, last time I had had too much candy. It didn't seem to deter me from stuffing my face with them whenever I was offered some in school.

'Leave the kid alone Max, let him enjoy while he can' Uncle Randy laughed.

'What is that supposed to mean?' Dad asked, side glancing his friend.

'Oh you know' he shrugged 'wait till puberty kicks in, and he'll avoid certain food for fear of pimples and all that bullsh-' Dad cut him off, giving him a look.

'Bull what?' I asked. Uncle Randy was ready to repeat, but dad punched his forearm.

'Nothing' Dad replied. Uncle Randy just laughed. 'Hey Park look! We are already here!' He exclaimed.

'Already?' I asked excitedly.

'Come on. Let's go in' he said after parking the car. He helped me hop off the backseat, and Uncle Randy followed us as we walked towards the front door. From there, I could already hear KISS-FM's afternoon top ten being played from inside the house. Mom liked to be informed of the latest pop songs. As we made our way inside, the most beautiful woman in the world came to greet us from the living room. Mom was wearing a white shirt and blue jeans, her dark brown hair was tied up in a messy bun.

'Hello, Randy' she beamed at him. Randy flirtatious grin didn't go unnoticed by dad, who stepped in front of him to say hi to mom.

'Honey' she kissed dad, he smiled at her.

'And here's my little man!' she crouched in front of me, her arms wide open, waiting for me to run into them in a big bear-like hug.

'Mommy!' I hugged her 'Mommy, I missed you so much!' Her long and slender arms around me were warming and protecting. She smelled like coffee and makeup.

'Oh, I missed you too' l saw my tiny self reflected in her large almond eyes. Her eyes seemed to smile at me.

'Okay Park, I've noticed that your room is a real mess, not good kid, not good.' she crossed her arms 'If I were you I would hurry upstairs and tidy up because I may or may not be making the Sandwich' she inspected her nails smirking.

'The Sandwich? The one with Nutella, bananas and peanuts?' I gasped in surprise.

'The very same sir' she paused 'If only your bedroom was clean though...' I didn't have to be told twice. I sprinted up the stairs. I vaguely heard Uncle Randy telling mom that he and dad were leaving again. I stopped halfway up the stairs and listened to what was being said.

'I'll bring your sweet honeycomb in an hour or so' Uncle Randy smiled sheepishly at her 'We're gonna get my car from the mechanic' She rolled her eyes and shooed them toward the front door.

'I'll be back soon Sarah' I heard dad saying as I arrived in my bedroom.

After struggling to get all my toys in their respective boxes, the dirty clothes in a pile in a corner of my room and my dirty socks under the bed, I collapsed on the floor with my red aeroplane toy. I made it fly over my head with my hands as I heard a door bang close somewhere downstairs. I reasoned that dad and Randy had already come back. I shoved the toy under my bed and run to the bathroom to wash my hands, knowing that mom would've inspected them carefully. Once done, I dried my hands on my t shirt and quickly made my way downstairs. The smell of The Sandwich was getting more and more concentrated as I approached the kitchen. Once inside, I immediately saw the plate with the best sandwich in the world awaiting me. I run to the round table, my mouth watering in anticipation as I kept my glance fixed on the plate.

My eyes darted to the ground below my feet, there was a smear of some red substance on the floor. I followed its trace to a corner of the kitchen.

That's when I saw her.

My mom, laying on the floor, red brick fluid dribbling along her body. Her eyes were void. I knelt next to her and touched her hand; it was lukewarm, but I could feel the warmth slipping away. The smell of coffee and make up that I used to associate with her was now substituted by the metallic smell of -blood, I concluded. Red thick blood, its smell seemed to scratch my throat, forcing its way down my trachea, clutching my lungs.

I stared into her amber eyes, looking for her eyes to smile at me, but It didn't happen.

She kept staring at the emptiness. The bubble gum song playing somewhere in the house on seemed so bland and distant, as if someone had removed the colour from the sound and left its notes and the singing to thrive in a world consisting of only black and white.

'Mommy?' I called her. She didn't flinch.

'Mommy' I called her again, 'Mommy! MOM!' I shook her, trying in vain to wake her from the deep dream that was grasping her away from my reality, away from me. More blood poured out of her as I shook her, staining my little hands.

I stared at her.

She wasn't coming back, and I knew that.

Before I knew it, tears escaped my eyes and trembled down my cheeks as my quivering lips tried to keep at bay my sobs. I looked at her brown hair, now sticky with blood. I grabbed her hand again without breaking eye contact, I thought that maybe if I kept looking at her, she would have come back, it was the only thing I could hold on to.

I kept staring at her even when the ambulance came; they found the front door open. They walked in and put her on a stretcher. Two people- police officers, grabbed me from behind and forced me to stand. I saw the Sandwich on the round table and my body shook in disgust. It looked like it was mocking me. I stared at it while the policemen escorted me to the living room. They kept talking and asking me things, but the only thing I could think about was her.

She was gone.

***

Whenever I allowed my mind to wonder, those memories would occasionally creep back. The hatred for Uncle Randy would surface too, whenever I remembered him being detained by the police after that day. All these memories made it hard to concentrate on running a calm and composed life in my teenage years.

'Dad I'm going to the library' I announced in a hollow voice. He was watching the news. He looked at me from the corner of his eyes, as he always did, and nodded. I was at the front door when he called me back.

Parker?' He paused, 'Could you drop by the hardware store and pick up a few things I ordered? Just tell them that I sent you'

'Sure' I sighed at the front door before leaving the house.

That summer day he had lost not only his love but a childhood friend. He might've become expressionless and depressed, but at least, I still had him.