A Sweet Reminder

Craig took in a deep breath as he woke that morning, not eager to climb out of bed since he knew pain was going to be involved. He always told himself that such things came with age. It just was, there was no use in complaining. He wasn’t twenty anymore, he recently turned forty-eight.

After throwing on some comfortable jeans and a ratty shirt within easy reach he headed down to the kitchen. Sitting on a stool at the kitchen island was the reason Craig could not complain about his life; his wife Olivia. Usually she was more of a morning person that he was, but that morning he could tell something was different. Her favorite teal tea cup was clasped by both of her hands, and steam was rising, indicating a fresh brewed cup of her favorite tea. That was normal. The thing Craig noticed was the creases in her soft skin created by the downward turn of the corner of her lips, and the sadness reflected in her normally bright blue eyes.

Without a word needing to be said, Craig moved to his beautiful bride’s side, and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “What’s troubling you?” he came right out with the question.

It was Olivia’s turn to draw in a deep breath as she leaned back slightly into her husband’s loving touch, her usual cheer returning just a bit to her features because of the gesture. “It’s nothing really,” she brushed it off.

“I don’t buy that,” Craig argued as his free hand reached to grab hers. “For the past eighteen years you have been my sunshine. So to see that look on your beautiful face, I know something is wrong.”

A soft smile actually graced Olivia’s lips as she squeezed her husband’s hand. “You know, I wake up every day thinking I don’t deserve you.” She turned her body a bit so that the two of them were facing. “Actually, you’re right. Something was on my mind when you walked in.”

“You know the best way to work through it is to talk to me about it,” Craig pointed out as he slipped himself onto the stool next to his wife. “There isn’t anything you can’t share with me.”

Olivia paused for a moment, trying to decide how to word her thoughts. “Tomorrow would be my mother’s birthday if she were still with us.”

Craig nodded in understanding. “And you miss her,” he thought he understood what she was trying to say. “That’s perfectly normal. Would you like to do something to remember her?”

“I would, now that you’ve mentioned it, but that’s not all that was on my mind.”

“You still have my full attention.”

Olivia’s fingertips lightly glided over the tile that covered the kitchen island, a place where she had many memories. The feelings she was trying to put words to were more complicated than a few simple sentences could convey. “Something I really miss is all the conversations I had with her,” she began. “Just as you said when you came in, talking about things gets them out into the air, helps us process. She did that for me.”

Craig gave a slight nod of understanding. “You leaned on her quite a bit when you were pregnant with Lindsay. I had hoped that having our first child together would be something for you and I to bond over, but I tried not to take it personally when you talked to your mother more than me. I could tell you needed the sage advice of someone who had already been there, and that wasn’t me.”

Olivia’s entire demeanor had changed noticeably from when Craig had entered the room. Her body moved closer to his as she took a careful sip of the hot tea, the simple gesture showing the bond they shared. “I was afraid you wouldn’t understand, but it seems like you do.”

“Ah,” a light went off in Craig’s dark eyes as he began to have some understanding of what his wife was trying to convey. “This isn’t just about your mother’s birthday. Lindsay has gone off to college, and we are entering a new stage in our lives. Your mother isn’t here to guide you like she once was.”

Olivia placed a soft kiss on her husband’s cheek. “I knew there was a reason I married you. A lot of men wouldn’t understand.”

Craig’s body puffed up a bit with pride at the compliment. “There was definitely a reason I married you. You challenge me, and you teach me things.”

That statement seemed to please Olivia. “You’ve learned from me?”

“I have. I used to live in a very mundane world, but life with you is magical. You opened my eyes to a new way of looking at the world.”

Olivia took another thoughtful sip from her cup. “You know what’s funny? Before you came down for breakfast I was thinking about how I don’t feel very wise. I don’t feel like I’m where I should be.”

Craig raised his left eyebrow slightly. “I don’t think I’m following you anymore.”

“The talks I used to have with my mother. It came up a few other times, but when I was becoming a new mother we talked about the trinity, the three phases of life. Giving birth to Lindsay meant that I was going from maiden to mother. My mother was the wise old crone who guided me through it all. I don’t have that guidance anymore.”

“I’m back with you, I think,” Craig said as he gave her shoulder a reassuring rub. “Though I can’t say I’ve ever thought of you as a crone.”

Olivia chuckled softly at that. “I’m guessing you meant that as a compliment. The word has gotten twisted over the years to mean an ugly old woman, when really just means old. Personally, I think calling myself a wise crone instead of old sounds better. It just… It sneaked up on me. I don’t know where the time went, or what wisdom I’m supposed to have.”

“I think that feeling is more common than you realize,” Craig said as he stole a sip of the tea. “I don’t feel like I’m much wiser than I was the day we got married. I’ve learned a few things here and there, but I wouldn’t call myself wise. Your mother probably felt the same way.”

“You think?” That seemed comforting to Olivia.

“I do. When she was guiding you through becoming a mother, that was something she had done before. She learned through living, just like the rest of us.”

Olivia carried the empty cup over to the sink and left it to wash it later. “In a way that’s comforting, and yet not so much. Basically what you just said is that all of us are feeling our way through life without a clue of what is coming.”

“Didn’t you once tell me that’s what makes life so interesting?”

Olivia laughed as she grabbed her favorite bright purple light jacket. “Using my own words against me. Maybe it’s you that’s wiser than he thinks. Now come on, that old barn isn’t going to clean itself out.”

The two left the comfort of their kitchen to tackle a chore they had been putting off for a little over a month. An old dilapidated barn sat a few hundred yards from their house. At one time the property had been a farm, but Craig and Olivia had mostly used it for storage. Eighteen years was a long time to collect things, and both of them felt it was time to go through their collected belongings and get rid of anything that was no longer needed. Time wasn’t standing still, and they were only getting older. At some point they would want to downsize as many older couples did. Getting rid of some junk now would save some headache in the future.

Of course with a project of that size they were tackling it together. It had taken a while to pin down a day where the weather would be fairly decent and neither had any other plans. Finally the day had come, and everything in the old barn was being separated into two piles. The keep pile would be organized later by Olivia. She was the one who had a talent for making the most of a small space.

“Oh, look at this,” Olivia couldn’t help but smile as she found an old English horse saddle discarded in a corner. “Remember when Lindsay hounded us to let her take riding lessons?”

Craig paused to look at the saddle and smile at the fond memory. “You didn’t want to let her, but like mother, like daughter. I’ve never met two more stubborn women.”

As soon as Craig finished speaking they heard the flutter of wings. A barn owl of all things had landed on the worn concrete floor near the get rid of pile. “Where did that come from?” Olivia wondered out loud as they watched it walk around the pile of old junk like it was checking things out. It didn’t seem worried about their presence at all.

“I don’t know,” Craig responded, a hint of worry in his voice. “It could’ve had a nest up in the rafters. But aren’t owls nocturnal?”

“Usually,” Olivia nodded as she watched the creature. After studying the belongings they were getting rid of it took a few steps toward them.

“Maybe I should get something to chase it away,” Craig’s eyes searched for a suitable tool. “It could be sick or something.”

“I don’t think it’s sick,” Olivia said as a small tear slid down her cheek. “Thank you, Mom,” Oliva’s mouth curled into a sad smile as one more tear fell. Suddenly the owl took off, flying through the open door and off into the woods.

“Now I’m really confused,” Craig looked back and forth from his wife to where the owl had stood only seconds ago.

“My mother used to say that the owl was the symbol of the crone,” Olivia tried to explain. “I can’t tell you how I know, but I know that owl was a message from her. I… I feel it. I feel her telling me that I’m doing just fine. I’m where I need to be.”

Craig shook his head, but moved to pull his wife into a warm embrace. “Somehow I believe you. I don’t understand it, but I believe you. Your mom may not still be with us here on earth, but I’ve never doubted that she was watching over you.”

“I think I lost sight of that,” Olivia said as she buried her face into her husband’s shoulder. “And so she sent me a reminder.”