A Son's Difficult Decision

Kevin knew this day would come, the day he will get the phone call that would force him to deal with reality. His father had passed away and his mother now needed his help. This was going to be difficult for him, not because he was close to his father but the opposite. The two had a falling out when Kevin was in his early twenties, and had not spoken since.

“How do you feel” Kevin's wife Susan asked him.

“I don't know how to feel. I’ve gotten so used to my life without him that I don't know what to feel right now.”

Kevin stared at his phone, clearly nothing going on inside him.

Susan came over and hugged him.

“I'll go with you if you need. Just let me know and I'll take off from work.”

Kevin turned and hugged her back.

“No. I'll be fine. You can't afford to take off right now anyway. I will call you every night to let you know I'm OK.”

Susan look worried. “I feel like I should be with you. This is going to be a hard time in your life.”

Kevin smiled “I know you are always there for me. You are one of the few people that always were.”

Susan smacked him on the shoulder. “Don't say that! Your father was there for you too and you shouldn't speak ill of the dead.”

“I know I'm sorry. I need to get my things together and let my boss know that I'll be out for a bit.”

Susan walked towards their bedroom. “I'll pack for you while you call your boss. I need to feel like I've done something for you.”

Kevin knew he was lucky to have her. Throughout his life people had come and gone but Susan stayed through it all. She knew all his secrets and stuck around which to him was nothing short of a miracle. After the two finish, they laid together in bed, Susan not sure of how to console Kevin and Kevin not sure of how he was coming to handle flying home tomorrow.

His plane landed in Albion Nebraska the following morning. It's a bit of a culture shock from the big city of Los Angeles, but he remembered everything about this place growing up. He called a friend to pick him up from the airport and drop him at his mother's house. Walking up to the door, not so pleasant memories flooded his mind. He sighed and looked down, then shook his head hoping that would knock loose what was in his brain and went inside.

“Mom?”

His mother Angela came from another room to greet him.

“It's so good to see you dear. I'm glad you came out.”

Kevin was an only child, and he knew that the responsibility fell on him.

“I couldn't leave this all for you to take care of.”

The two hugged and for a moment everything was peaceful. His mother looked into his eyes and smiled. The dried lines on her face made it clear that she had been crying.

“What do you need me to do. I'm here to help.”

His mother turned toward the kitchen.

“Why don't we have something to eat first you, must be starving.”

Kevin groaned and followed his mother into the kitchen.

“You know I'm here to help you with everything. I would like to keep this trip as short as possible.”

Angela turned around with a scowl.

“Is that all this is to you? Just another job you have to get done? He was still your father!”

“Let's not do this right now. You know how I felt about him”

“You two were so happy at one point. I don't understand how everything changed so dramatically in such a short period of time. I bet Susan was OK with how everything played. Too bad she's not here now.”

“I keep telling you, Susan had nothing to do with it. After I made my decision not to work on the farm, she was the only one that truly supported me. I went to college and made something of myself. I thought you two would be proud of me?”

Angela's attitude softened. She brushed Kevin on the arm.

“You know we were both proud of you, but it's a tough decision for us to deal with. We always expected you to take over the farm when you are old enough. Maybe get some of your friends to come help you out.”

“That may be what people do around here, but that's not what I wanted. I've told you that countless times!”

Kevin realized that his speech was getting louder and angrier. He turned and headed upstairs. Angela followed and stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

“Wait, where are you going?”

Kevin kept walking up the stairs. Without turning around he replied.

“He will need a suit to be buried in. I know you keep the old ones in the attic. I'll go look for one.”

On the second floor ceiling there was a string attached to a door. When Kevin pulled on the string, the door opened and a ladder extended from the door. He climbed up and into the attic. Kevin had not been here in so long that every thing had been reorganized. While searching for a trunk he came across suspicious package wrapped in brown paper. He went to moved it out of his way when he realized the address written on the package.

“This is addressed to my freshman year dorm room.”

He sees that it's written in his father's handwriting, but he puts it down to look for a suit. Moving towards the corner of the attic, Kevin fines three suits hanging in plastic. He grabs a black suit and proceeds so leave the attic. While passing the mysterious package he stops and push the suit down.

“It does have my name on it.”

He opens the package and to his surprise there're multiple photos of him and his father working on the farm, a ribbon from a father son contest they won, and a letter his father had written to him. Kevin remembered the days the photographs were taken. One was of them winning the ribbon, another was of their family our Christmas, and the third was him with his father right after a football game his senior year of high school. He still had his pads on.

“Why would he send me this right when I went to college?”

Kevin opened the letter and began reading…

“Dear Kevin,

You know I do not agree with your decision to go away to college. I could sure use your help here on the farm. But you knew that and you made your decision anyway based on how you felt and I could not be prouder of the man you have become. With the people closest to you worried that you were making the wrong choice, you listened to your heart and believed that leaving was the best choice for you. I packed some photos along with this letter and the ribbon we won so you don't forget where you came from and so wherever you go you can remember the good times. It takes a lot of courage to make a decision like you made. More than I ever had. I get that we're not speaking right now but I wanted you to know that even if our relationship doesn't get better, you will always have a place here working on the farm. Good luck in school. I know you will make your mom and I proud.

Love dad”

Kevin dropped the letter and immediately started crying. He had no idea that even though the two never saw eye on his leaving that his father felt this way. It made him feel better to know that he didn't disappoint his father with his decision. His mother heard him and came up into the attic.

“Are you OK?”

Kevin turned towards the opening in the attic. “Did you know about this?”

Angela read the letter from the package

“I knew he was planning to send this to you but he decided not to. I never knew what was inside.”

“Why didn't he send it to me? What made him change his mind?”

Angela sighed and then caught Kevin eye.

“He knew this was a fresh start for you and he didn't want to bog you down with things that you were leaving behind. He planned on sending it a few months later after hearing that you were doing well but I guess he got busy with the farm.”

The two cried together in the attic looking through the pictures in the package. Without turning Kevin said to his mother…

“I'm sorry I left. I know how much work I left for you and dad. I know it was wrong. I'm so sorry”

Through little hiccups Angela said to Kevin “You don't have to apologize. No one did anything wrong. You know we always wanted the best for you. Your father would be proud of the man you are today.”

The two gathered themselves and headed out of the attic. Angela was holding the suit as she went down the ladder and Kevin had the box in his hands with everything in it. The funeral was the following day. Susan flew out to support Kevin. When he went up to the casket he said a short prayer and put the picture of him and his father after his football game in his father's breast pocket.

While it was a solemn occasion, Kevin was able to get some closure. He had the burden of leaving his family behind hanging over him for years now but now knowing how his father truly felt about his decision, he can say that his guilt is gone.

After returning home, he started putting his clothes away. When he looked into the mirror, he was able to smile. The last thing that he unpacked was the box he found in the attic. He put the picture of him and his father working on the farm on his mirror, and he taped the letter to the frame of his college diploma.