A Small Adventure

“I’m telling you, the shriek of that great beast is one that will haunt your dreams for the rest of your nights, if you manage to get away from it with your heart still beating. The only way to survive it is to hear it far off in the distance. If you hear it close to you, you’d best find a good hiding spot right quick, because you won’t hear it when its talons tear through your body.”

“Ah, come off it, Mick! You’re scaring the kids.”

“Good! They should be scared, it will keep them alive.”

“C’mon kids, off you go to bed.”

“No, we don’t want to die! We want to stay and hear uncle Mick’s story.”

Mick smirked and his eye gleamed with pride as he winked at his brother.

“Alright, you can have 15 more minutes, and I’m sure uncle Mick will keep you safe while remembering who he’s telling the story to.”

“Not to worry, brother, I’ll keep it family friendly.

So, kids, as you know there are certain areas outside our village that are forbidden. One of these is a great wooden hall filled with treasure. Many of our brethren lost their lives seeking that treasure. Over 50 of our bravest have entered the hall, only one has ever returned.”

“Who?”

“Me!”

“Yeah, it was your uncle who returned and it was your uncle who almost got us all killed when the beast followed him back. That’s why it’s now a forbidden area.”

“It just got close, it didn’t follow me all the way back. That could’ve happened to anybody!”

“Any idiot, maybe...”

“Anyway!…The point is I’m the only one who’s seen inside the great hall and lived to tell the tale.”

“Yeah, tell it over, and over, and over, and over again…”

“ANYWAY! If I can get through this without your dad’s interruptions.

So, as I said, over 50 of our bravest had entered, but it was only the smartest who got out. See, I didn’t rush headlong into the belly of the beast, I took my time and scoped out the place first.

Now, the great hall is a huge building that the giants built, but it’s not where they live. The built it to store their treasures, only coming and going on occasion. And it’s built out of the most wonderful, delicious old wood. If there was ever any of that nasty paint on the wood it’s long gone now so it’s nice and soft, tasty when you chew through it.

Because it’s old, it also had many entrances already in it, and that’s where those poor lost souls went wrong. They just went straight through, hungry for the treasure and got picked off by the beast. It was watching the entrances.

I went up there early one morning, and damn near got devoured by the beast if not for the dumb luck that it was on its way back from a hunt and didn’t spot me under the bush.

The very thought of that first sight is giving me the shivers. I’ve since heard the giants call it a “bar-nowl”. A great feathered beast, each feather bigger than all three of you combined. Feathers upon wings so big they could almost cover our village. It’s the feet that terrify me, though, those are what get you. HUGE fingers that could grab my whole body and your father's, too. Talons the size of my head on the end of each one, capable of tearing you in half like you were cheese.”

“Mick! The kids are going to have to sleep after this, try not to give them nightmares.”

“Right, sorry kids. Nothing to worry about, the beast is in a far away land, it can’t find you here.

So, as I said, I noticed that it was on its way back from a hunt, with some poor soul clutched in its feet. I began to think that if it’s coming back from the hunt then maybe it would just eat and go to sleep. I was tired, but I stayed up late, through as much of the day as I could, just watching the hall to see if it came out again. It didn’t, but that wasn’t enough to be sure, so I changed my sleep schedule to spy on the hall through the day.

I did that day after day, and eventually felt confident there was no action around the hall until later in the evening. So I came up with a plan and talked my poor sweet friends, Roland and Squeaks, into coming along with me.

See, Squeaks had always had great success in messing with the dumb cat that hung around with the giants, so he was key to the plan. Roland would get the cat’s attention then get to safety, Squeaks would lead the cat to the hall to distract the beast, then I would rush in to snag the treasure.

Of course, your beloved aunt, Minerva, would’ve hated the idea of me rushing into the beast’s lair, but since she went missing a couple of months earlier she couldn’t dissuade me of my plan. (Truth be told, part of me felt she might’ve been taken by the beast, and I held on to the hope that I might find her in the lair.)”

“Mick! You never told me that.”

“Yeah, well, it’s true brother. Part of me can’t let go, I never got to say goodbye and can’t let go of the feeling that I’ll find her again. If only to properly say goodbye.”

“I’m sorry uncle Mickey, I miss her, too.”

“OK, OK, everybody, this story isn’t to bring us all down. It’s to remind us all how brave I am.

So, thanks to my brave reconnaissance, I’d figured out that the best time to sneak in would be the middle of the day, as that’s when the beast was most likely to be asleep.

I set to work chewing through the wood while Roland and Squeaks went to the giants’ house to fetch the cat. I chewed through the wood so as not to make the mistake many a mouse before me had made: walking through the known entrances. If the beast awoke, that was the first place it would look.”

“But I thought you said you were going to use the cat to distract the beast? Wouldn't it have to be awake?”

“Yeah...well, still. Always best to do the unexpected. So anyway, as I was chewing through the tasty wood, I could hear the commotion in the distance, it sounded like Roland had been successful in stirring the cat. I had to chew faster as it wouldn’t be long before Squeaks led the cat to the great hall and awoke the beast.

I chewed and chewed and eventually I bit into air, I had made it through the wall. The beast was in here somewhere, I could feel its murderous presence ready to tear me to bloody bits at any moment.”

“MICK!”

“Right, sorry. I froze like a stone so that it wouldn’t notice me, waiting for Squeaks to bring the cat. But Squeaks never came. I waited and waited, but our distraction never came. I sat there frozen in the darkness, not knowing where the cat was nor where the beast was, expecting either to leap out and end me at any moment.

That’s when it hit me.”

“The bar-nowl?!?!?”

“No, the sweet, sweet aroma of the treasure. The irresistible aroma of cheese began to caress my nostrils and I realized why so many of my brethren had run into their deaths here.

I reassured myself that the beast must be sleeping now, my recon was thorough, there’d been no sign of activity at this time of day. Slowly, carefully, I followed my nose to where the treasure lay. It was guarded, of course, by one of those pitiful metal “traps” the giants thought they could get us with. Any mouse worth his salt knows how to get past these, but I was still wary of the beast somewhere in the darkness. I didn’t want to wake him and the sound of the “trap” being activated could do just that. The aroma of cheese was not coming from just this one spot so I scouted around to see what other treasure lay in wait.

It was when I just finished what I believed to be a complete inventory of all the “traps” in the hall that Roland came charging through an entrance in the wall. Wide eyed, and tousled, completely panicked.

‘Squeaks is gone! The cat is right behind me!,” he screamed.

I heard a large bang on the wall he’d just run through followed by the most evil hissing. Full of rage that began tearing at the wood.

I began to tell Roland to follow me when I saw the beast’s talons drop out of the darkness above and snatch Roland back up into inky black void high above.

Well, that was it for me. With great bravery and daring, I courageously charged back to the hole I had chewed through on the other side of the great hall and I ran faster than any mouse has ever run before. I ducked under every covering I could as I ran, as I knew the beast always took its prey from above.

Thankfully, I was pretty far from the hall when I heard that shriek that still shivers my bones to think about it.”

“Did you ever see Roland again, uncle Mickey?”

“Sadly, no, kids. I never saw brave Roland again, I fear the beast got him for good.”

“Right, kids! So what did we learn? We learned never to go on stupid quests where beasts can kill us, didn’t we? Didn’t we. Yes, we learned that everything we need can be found right near our safe little village so there’s no reason to go seeking dangerous adventures.”

That’s when the youngest and sleepiest of the children asked, “But then what stories would we have to tell?”

Mick beamed with pride as his brother stammered.